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Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

Chris_B Are you looking to support someone else with depression? PLEASE READ before posting
  • replies: 0

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and f... View more

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and friends with a mental health condition It's full of threads from people who have family members and friends going through anxiety, depression or other related conditions. Have a read through the threads there, and feel free to take part in the discussions. Below are also some helpful beyondblue resources you might want to look through first as well: Supporting someone Have the conversation

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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CedricT Poem
  • replies: 6

I don't know if this helps or makes things worse but I write poetry about how I am feeling. This is one: Hurt: And so it goes The story of to and fros The ups and downs Will sadden the happiest of clowns Scared of the pain You are the one left to dra... View more

I don't know if this helps or makes things worse but I write poetry about how I am feeling. This is one: Hurt: And so it goes The story of to and fros The ups and downs Will sadden the happiest of clowns Scared of the pain You are the one left to drain Each week has a new low You have become life’s little hoe Nothing inside is left to hurt Your heart torn out and stomped in the dirt The pain turns physical A razor is now seen as clinical The loss of a friend Another step closer to the end You push and mislead They want to help and do a good deed Your mind is now your worst enemy Will you ever find some form of clarity? Your hurt and scared Are you too damaged to be repaired? Allow people in please! The pain will begin to ease Dont be scared of this monster Be the hero of the story Tame the beast and learn to conquer

Guest_598 Stay or go? Life with a depressed partner
  • replies: 5

Hi All, this might sound really heartless but I am no longer sure what to do. I have been with my husband for 9 years and he has suffered from periodic depression ever since I have known him and likely before. Every year, a crisis triggered by him wo... View more

Hi All, this might sound really heartless but I am no longer sure what to do. I have been with my husband for 9 years and he has suffered from periodic depression ever since I have known him and likely before. Every year, a crisis triggered by him would spiral us down a dark hole, ending with him saying hurtful things to me, doubting the relationship and me as the right partner and, in the end, he would bring up separation or divorce. For nine years, I have accepted this behaviour and felt for him because whenever he came out of the hole, he said that this was actually not how he felt and that he could not imagine a life without me. However, it has caused me lasting pains and doubts that our relationship dynamics will ever change. Also, he is often so indifferent about everything and I am coming to a point where I wonder whether my basic needs, such as being able to share joy with a special someone, are actually met. I know this sounds quite selfish because he does nice little things for me and when we have a good time, it is great. But I feel that every year, I am happy for 50% and then, after the crisis, I start rebuilding my emotional strength again for the other 50%. And even then I have moments when I sometimes wonder whether we are just too different - or he maybe always affected by some mild depression that keeps him low, indifferent and not very passionate. He is seeing a psychologist and I have been lately, too, because we had another crisis that was very hard for me to deal with. He knows he needs the therapist's help, which is great and I am sure he is slowly making progress. But since this year, I no longer know whether I can wait that long because I assume improvement will take a long time. I am so tired and exhausted by all this and I am so sad when I look back at nine years of nice and terrible times alike. A relationship should not be THAT hard, or should it? I no longer know what to do. I love him but I feel there has been a lot of damage done and most of all, I am just not sure I can continue living my life with a person that seems never happy or satisfied for long. It is like constantly driving on a bumpy road and occasionally you get some patches of smooth ride. I feel I have given my best but I am worried that I will give my needs up for something that will never get better. Especially as he now feels a need for kids and it gets him down because I never wanted them and will not have them. So there's another reason for him to be down.

white knight Over analysing, over thinking
  • replies: 15

I'm happy to claim my depression has taken a holiday. Well I forced it to, it had no choice. Sometimes things in life need a heavy hand or out witting them. Coming up with strategies might need your own ideas as our depression is very individual. The... View more

I'm happy to claim my depression has taken a holiday. Well I forced it to, it had no choice. Sometimes things in life need a heavy hand or out witting them. Coming up with strategies might need your own ideas as our depression is very individual. There can be some similarities however- let's explore some. If you over think issues, possibilities then you might have too much free time on your hands. When I have a project (like building our caravan) that takes calculations and focus...I'm rarely dwelling on family issues or the local narcissist person in town. Distraction does work, seriously work! I used to have a large jigsaw in a spare room. Each time I dwelled on a toxic family member I'd retreat and do a dozen pieces. It worked. The saying "get a life" can be interpreted in a nasty way but as with all things in life I focus on the facts and benefits...get a life is sort of true...a sport, a hobby, a second job..its the best way to minimalise the effects some people have on us, so we can move forward from mayhem. Another saying - "dont sweat the small stuff". CEO's or owners of large companies leave the small stuff to people down the line. Federal politicians dont involve themselves with planning permits for houses, that's done by local Govt. Hence work towards filtering issues in your life to find peace away from small issues. Eg inlaws. My first marriage resulted in a few toxic inlaws that, for no clear motive, caused havic in the family. I decided, after several attempts to offer peace that "I married my wife, not her family". This new attitude resulted in my peace of mind. Those few inlaws no longer have the "feed" they needed to continue with undue criticism. As time went by they had no issues to satisfy their jealousy (which was the real issue). There is a significant percentage of narcissistic people in our world. I'd guess around 10-20%. That's a lot. You have little choice but to withdraw and minimalise your head space of them. These actions and distractions away from negative influences might result in some level of isolation. It will feel that you are building a wall of safety...well that's exactly what it is. And only allow the qualified to enter. That's your right. There is no obligation to entertain the nasty, just love the caring... TonyWK

JC_1973 Something feels wrong..
  • replies: 4

I've been on medication for quite a number of years and I recently fulfilled a new script but the chemist gave me a different brand and since then I've been feeling jittery in my body, have waves of feeling like I just can't be bothered, have trouble... View more

I've been on medication for quite a number of years and I recently fulfilled a new script but the chemist gave me a different brand and since then I've been feeling jittery in my body, have waves of feeling like I just can't be bothered, have trouble sleeping and I just don't feel like myself. I haven't changed anything else except added a fish oil tablet to my diet. Should I speak with my chemist or my doctor? The medication looks the same!

stressmeout I just need some advice
  • replies: 3

Im not even sure if this is the right place to be asking for this kind of advice, but im at the end of my tether i literally don't know where else i can turn. i figure on here there might be someone who will at the very least have a listen. Basically... View more

Im not even sure if this is the right place to be asking for this kind of advice, but im at the end of my tether i literally don't know where else i can turn. i figure on here there might be someone who will at the very least have a listen. Basically up until June, i was employed as a refrigeration apprentice in my second year. Then the company i was working for went into bankruptcy leaving me unemployed, i no shit applied for probably 50 apprenticeships just trying to find a company to take me on and let me finish my apprenticeship. being a mature apprentice at the ripe age of 24 that was alot easier said then done. So that was in June, i managed to find some part time work which has tied me over until a month ago but apparently i wasnt what they were looking for and got sacked. so essentially im absolutely ruined right now, my rent runs out this week, i have no food, i cant even put fuel in my car to go to interviews and who knows how much longer my phone is going to stay connected, and the little savings i did have are all but dried up now. I have been applying like a crazy man to try and find any work, but this close to Christmas theres just nothing where i live. Im at the point where i just want to give up, im beyond tired, the joys been gone for a while now and its just struggle after struggle. im the only one whose got my back and realize im the only one who can help myself but i wouldnt even know where to begin and am not even sure i care anymore. its like pull myself out of this hole just to work in another shitty job barely earning enough to survive anyway, whats the point. i guess the very fact im on here, tells me im not done just yet but come Thursday when i get kicked out of my house, I don't see me coming back from that and just before Christmas too. It actually makes me laugh in a way like how the heck did i get here.

SPOONO How do you cope when the problems are all real and over a period of 30 years.
  • replies: 7

Thirty years ago a work accident crippled me. On escape from rehab my ex insisted on me taking up beer again. After I got compensation I began a business with her she did the books I worked on computers. Business wasn't good due to depression issues ... View more

Thirty years ago a work accident crippled me. On escape from rehab my ex insisted on me taking up beer again. After I got compensation I began a business with her she did the books I worked on computers. Business wasn't good due to depression issues and being put in psychiatric hospital; so I got my mum to send me $24000 to cover a mortgage. My ex was doing the books and when I got out of hospital my ex refused to let me in the house because I was two dangerous. My land was sold by the bank due to the money disappearing, oddly my ex was able to buy a car and renovate the house she had taken as settlement for separation. Since asking my kids for help finding the money they have all blocked me from any contact after showering me with abuse for carrying on so about the money. I made accusations and got no denials. How do I cope with losing my family and all my possessions, given in good faith for their support. The ultimate ingratitude.

MisterM I suspect I may have un-diagnosed BDP
  • replies: 7

I just saw this article on social media and my jaw dropped as I can tick most of the symptoms for BPD. Don't know what to do? Should I see a psychologist? Or are these symptoms also seen with other disorders?

I just saw this article on social media and my jaw dropped as I can tick most of the symptoms for BPD. Don't know what to do? Should I see a psychologist? Or are these symptoms also seen with other disorders?

Tiredandlost Defeated by recurrence of depression
  • replies: 1

I've experienced a number of episodes of depression, which have in the past come good with changes in medication, but I feel at a loss about what to do this time. It's inescapable that my current relapse was the result of talking with my doctor about... View more

I've experienced a number of episodes of depression, which have in the past come good with changes in medication, but I feel at a loss about what to do this time. It's inescapable that my current relapse was the result of talking with my doctor about some difficult issues growing up and I really struggle with the fact that talking about something that happened so many years ago (I'm now in my late 30's) could have such a profound effect on my mood. I'm not sure how to get through this current episode. A medication change doesn't seem right because after trialling about 4-5, my current medication has been working well up until now. I find it really difficult to talk to my doctor when I'm in the throes of depression anyway (I've never really quite worked out why) and the fact that my current relapse was caused by talking has reinforced that. My next doctor's appointment is just under two weeks away and I'm considering cancelling it, even though in the past my doctor has helped me through some very bleak times, because I only feel worse when I can't fully articulate how I'm feeling. At my last visit, my doctor suggested I go into hospital but I don't see that as an option. Work is the only place where I feel like I'm coping at the moment and I don't want to lose that. Also, I have been in hospital once before and I didn't find it too useful. I feel really defeated by suffering another relapse, especially when I was trying so hard to do everything right. A big part of me just wants to give up because it feels impossible to defeat. I wonder if there would be relief from not trying so hard to fight against something that maybe is just an inherent part of me. I'm venting a little, but any thoughts or suggestions on what to do would be appreciated.

pinkkookaburra99 Feel like I’m stuck in a hamster wheel?
  • replies: 2

Bit of a random title but I guess it describes what I’m feeling pretty well. I feel like I’m in a never ending cycle of doctor’s appointments and blood tests and medication and therapy appointments where I don’t achieve anything. I always get the sam... View more

Bit of a random title but I guess it describes what I’m feeling pretty well. I feel like I’m in a never ending cycle of doctor’s appointments and blood tests and medication and therapy appointments where I don’t achieve anything. I always get the same terrible advice- exercise and socialise. I just wish people would realise the problem isn’t that I dont think exercise and socialising is important (I know it is), the problem is that I’m physically trapped in my bed and unable to get out. I shouldn’t have to fight this hard for healthcare. All I want is a GP I can trust, who listens to me and takes me seriously, a medication regimen that actually works and a clinical psych who can do their job. I really don’t think that’s a lot to ask! I’m happy to put in the hard yards but I’m sick and tired of the healthcare system not meeting me halfway. I keep telling people nothing I’m doing is working and they just say to do it again! sorry for the rant. Anyone relate?

Crit29 Help? Feel like I'm lost without hope.
  • replies: 4

So a bit about me first; I'm a 25y/o guy who is for the most part a recluse with few friends. I rarely drink, I smoke pot often and I've been dealing with varying levels of depression and anxiety for the past few years. I also have a gaming/porn addi... View more

So a bit about me first; I'm a 25y/o guy who is for the most part a recluse with few friends. I rarely drink, I smoke pot often and I've been dealing with varying levels of depression and anxiety for the past few years. I also have a gaming/porn addiction. It's been almost 3 years now since my life got flip-turned upside down, but in truth I've been stagnant for closer to 5 and it's caused my life to come crashing down around me... I had it all at one point; a steady job, a proper family, normal routines, good finances and the most important to me, love. I look back on the choices I made with deep sorrow and regret. At the time I was an entitled, arrogant fool who thought the world and everyone in it owed me something, and everything would always be as I wanted it. Part of me knows I got what was coming to me, but knowing the error of my ways hasn't made it any easier dealing with and accepting the consequences (subsequent years of mental strife) that have followed. tl;dr It started when I fell in love with a girl and we broke each others hearts, how cliche... We met online through gaming and pretty quickly fell for each other (LDR). I dropped out of uni and uprooted my life at 19 to move overseas until 2 years later when we moved home to Australia where we lived for a further 18 months until she lied, cheated and ran off with an acquaintance of ours (who she's still with today). During a lot of this time I was controlling, manipulative and mentally abusive, to an extent that I'll never forgive myself for some of the things I said and did to her. I kept my own insecurities about how others would perceive me and also my gaming/porn addictions under the rug while shifting the blame for all our problems almost entirely onto her throughout. She broke my heart, but only after I had hers. I feel useless. Since I've come home it's enabled me to basically go back to being a teenager and runaway from life and growing up. I live with my dad, I don't work or drive and I've got no ambition. I sit around playing video games all day, locked up in my bedroom like a cavetroll while life is just passing me by. The whole thing with my ex still dwells heavily on me and I just feel so alone all the time which feeds the addictions. I lost a lot more than a girlfriend 3 years ago and I'm still not coping. I haven't been intimate with anyone since either. I want to move on but feel trapped. What should I do? How do you motivate yourself when you've felt like this for so long?