Trapped and Helpless

Chunty
Community Member

Hi Everybody, Mood feels real low today. I feel so helpless and trapped. My internet went down and I was left almost alone all day while my carer spent most of the day trying to get it going. He was so involved with it I felt negleted. Becauseof my illness I am totally dependent on him. I was stuck in a recliner, in alot of pain, worse when I moved, cold , hungry and so alone escept with my darling cat Merryweather. I had to ring eventually and ask him for help.My last dose of painkillers was at 4 am and by 3 pm I was in agony. As well as coping with other issues this was the last straw.I guess I am lucky I can vent to you lovely people. Thank you.All the best. Chunty

22 Replies 22

Chunty
Community Member
Hello dear people. I wonder if anyone agree if im doing thr right thing. In the last 2 days i have completely withdrawn from other people, except i look forward to see my priest once a week.im barely eating, because its hard to chew, eat and breathe.im tired all the time and want to be left alone. In fact im at peace when my carer goes out for a few hours.i cant eat much because im nauseated. I cant be bothered talking and argueing. I do my best to please him because i dont want to talk much. Im very tired and worn. I dont care about anything anymore. Im too tired to be concerned and worried about anything. Im not interested in going out as it takes alot out of me. I feel like a robot kind of numb and had enough.i feel no one can help me anymore. Im 74 yrs old with a terminal illness, slow but sure going downhill and ive given up fighting.i feel like im an oxygen thief, taking up space and lingering on i know im going to die eventually, but when. I have only opened up to you kind souls,as you are not judgemental. I dont even feel like talking counsellors or doctors. They cant do anything All im hanging on is my faith in Jesus. Ive lost trust in humans and prefer animals.Am i sinking into the dephs of depression or is that my way of coping? Im open to some ideas. God Bless. Chunty

Chunty
Community Member
Hi, I need to let out a bit of steam. My condition has deterioted the last few days nd my mobility is getting bad. My carer and friend whom Ive known for the last 40 years has by choice is looking after me. Now lately he has been giving me mixed messages. 1, "I will never put you in a nursing home as long as Im around" 2 ". You may have to go into a nursing home as I may not be able to look after you" Result -I am confused.Also he knows and keeps repeating that I hate nursing home, and I know I wont last.Out of loyalty and gratitude, I have decided to give him my house and assets because I dont want the nursing home to take my property, sell it and use the money for my care. Besides that they will also take 85% of my pension. The care I get will be no different whether I owned the property or not. So I have made all the enquiries and appointments.He hasnt lifted a finger to do anything, but instead started making comments of what I should be doing ect. ect. He thinks he knows it all and makes me feel an idiot. I lashed out, as Ive had enough. He then goes on about past negative issues which puts pressure on me. It turned out after a phone call that I did do the right thing.Is this power games or what? Can anyone give me some feedback ?Would apprechiate it. Chunty

Chunty
Community Member
Hi Grandy, I have been struggling with so many issues and have been having negative thoughts about myself. How have you been doing? Thanking.you and God Bless You 🙏🙏