Tough weeks but looking forward

ChiefMoots
Community Member
have had a major depressive episode this week, scariest I've ever felt. There are constant pangs of guilt for those left to pick up the pieces behind me but I'm determined to get better. Anyone out there involved in their own business who battle depression? Keen to discuss your challenges and triumphs 
4 Replies 4

HA1
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Cheif

Nice to hear from you and welcome to the Beyondblue forum. 

Not clear from your post whether you have been formally diagnosed with a depressive disorder or not.  But that is Ok.  The important part is that you shared your issues withers on here.

Yes, I had a very successful business when I fell in a heap and was admitted.  I am slowly crawling my way our of the pit, I think.  But there are moments when I think "one step forward and three back".  I ended up with stopping everything.  But as you would know, its not that simple.  Regulatory reporting obligations remain, notwithstanding your lack of motivation in dealing with these.  I too feel the guilt, because my partner has now had to carry the major burden with these - I have trouble with facing any of the business pressures that I used to thrive living with..

I feel guilt every day.

Happy to chat further.

K

ChiefMoots
Community Member

Hey K.  Thanks for the reply and hope you are well.  FYI I have been formally diagnosed with depression.  Am currently  on indefinite leave from the business and it hurts to be away from it knowing I am putting others under additional pressure.  Am fearful of returning and how I can transition back with some success.  How did you re-connect with your business and clients after your illness?

Chief 

 

HA1
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Chief!

Good to hear back from you.  Sounds like you are in a better place than me 🙂

I never did reconnect.  Yep - hard to believe, but I cut everything and everyone off.  I often met with business colleagues because they wanted to see how I was going.  But I never took it further.  That is why my partner is now faced with dealing with the accountants and the previous clients to tie everything up.

But the good news is that if you have the will and desire to transition back to your work, then you can do it.  I just chose not to.  Partly because I was retirement age.  But, you know, I discovered that it is not unusual for people in their own businesses to have a meltdown.  They don't advertise it as such, but that happens a lot.  And, it is understandable, running a business, whether large or small,  means you will face daily unrelenting pressure. Time out is the answer.  I did not take enough of it.

How do you transition back.  Small baby steps - a little bit at a time.  Don't expect too much - you can't dive back in as if nothing had happened.  Try not to be too self conscious about what has happened - that is in the past.  You are starting a new chapter in your career, one that will now recognise that we are all human, and you will now be able to better manage your life balances.  Recognise that you are on a road to recovery.  I think it is really great that you are keen to get back in into it. That takes strength.  Proud of you Chief!

Take care

K

ChiefMoots
Community Member
Thanks K - your words mean a lot.  I have been in a similar position about 5 years ago and had to re-build myself so this is just another opportunity to get better and more balanced.  Will keep you posted as I start with the baby steps back in.  Chief