Hi One_More_Day
I feel for you so much as you face what is possibly the greatest challenge you've every faced, knowing how to live.
It can be easy to know how to live, under a whole variety of other circumstances. When it's short term depression we face and not long term, when there's plenty of energy and not just enough to keep our body basically functioning, when we're surrounded by people who make a difference as opposed to having no one around to stop the ongoing depressing inner dialogue, when there are certain things that work instead of there seemingly being nothing that works. The list of circumstances where it's much easier to know how to do it goes on. I'd also say it can be much easier to identify how we gradually made our way down into the depths of depression than it is to know how to raise our self out of the depths and even out of that depression entirely.
Sometimes I find what can make some difference is the phrase that begins with 'If only...'. Sometimes, when we're able to complete that phrase, that is where the difference we are seeking lies. It may be a tiny difference but enough to raise us just an inch off rock bottom. Our 'if only...' has to be real and it has to be obtainable, otherwise it's nothing more than wishful thinking. From my own experience, wishful thinking really doesn't make much difference in a depression but a serious sense of wonder can. A handful of examples
- If only I had more energy. What would I do if I had more energy? How can I gain that energy? If I can't develop it naturally at this point, which doctor is going to prescribe the right energy medication (before I can begin to work on naturally gaining it)?
- If only I had someone to speak to who could relate to where I'm at? How would I feel if I could speak to someone who could relate, who could feel where I'm at? Where am I going to find people who can relate, as opposed to specialists who can't relate?
- If only I had a way of shifting or managing my inner dialogue? What would my inner dialogue sound like, compared to how it sounds now? How can I develop the right 'voice' in my head
- If only I had access to a religion or form of spirituality that made a difference to me, as opposed to ones that make no difference. How would I see myself or experience myself and my connection to something greater than me if I found a form of spirituality that I could rely on to make a difference in a number of ways?
