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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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SucculentQueen Why can't isolated people connect?
  • replies: 5

So many of us are isolated and lonely so why can't we connect?Depressed and alone + depressed and alone = connection.Why is this sum untrue?

So many of us are isolated and lonely so why can't we connect?Depressed and alone + depressed and alone = connection.Why is this sum untrue?

L0st_mys3lf When one door closes another door opens
  • replies: 1

Some people say that when a door closes, everything behind it should be left there. When another door opens, it should lead to new beginnings, not back to old pain.Our relationship ended once. We spent a month apart before finding our way back to eac... View more

Some people say that when a door closes, everything behind it should be left there. When another door opens, it should lead to new beginnings, not back to old pain.Our relationship ended once. We spent a month apart before finding our way back to each other. We reconciled, but we continued living separately. Three years later, our relationship is stronger in many ways, and now he wants to make our future together official.The truth is, I love him. But loving someone doesn't erase the fear of being hurt again.My family knows about our relationship, and I can feel the unspoken tension. I often feel that they believe I should be with someone else. He feels that tension too whenever he's around my family, and seeing him uncomfortable hurts me just as much.Even though we both live independently and have our own homes, I constantly find myself asking, "Should I, or shouldn't I?" Deep down, I don't think we've always been completely honest with each other. We both recognise the flaws in our relationship, yet we continue holding on because we don't want to let each other go.The hardest part has been the dishonesty surrounding finances. Trust is difficult to rebuild once it's been broken.Our social life often revolves around going out for dinner and then we tried on the poker machines. In the beginning, We won what felt like a lot of money, and those early experiences gave us hope that we could do it again. Over time, though, what started as entertainment slowly became a habit.Sometimes love isn't the hardest part. The hardest part is accepting that a healthy future requires trust, honesty, accountability, and the courage to break patterns that no longer serve either person.

Duke_dbz I don’t know how to move forward anymore
  • replies: 1

For the past four or five years, I feel like I have been surviving rather than living.I moved to Australia with the hope of building a stable life and career. I completed my master’s degree, kept working, applied for jobs, attended interviews, learne... View more

For the past four or five years, I feel like I have been surviving rather than living.I moved to Australia with the hope of building a stable life and career. I completed my master’s degree, kept working, applied for jobs, attended interviews, learned new skills and tried to do everything people tell migrants to do. But despite all of that, I still haven’t been able to find stable work in the field I studied for.Recently, I came extremely close to securing a proper Data Analyst role. I cleared multiple interview stages, completed an assignment and reached the final round. I genuinely believed that this might finally be the opportunity that changed my situation. When I was rejected at the end, it broke something in me. It wasn’t just another rejection. It felt like losing the life and stability I had imagined would come with it.During these years, I have also dealt with multiple health problems and surgeries. I reached nearly 190 kg at my heaviest, lost more than 80 kg, went through bariatric surgery, complications and further surgery. I have fought addiction, stopped drinking and tried repeatedly to rebuild myself physically and mentally.I know I have survived a lot, but I am tired of only being told that I am strong. I don’t want my entire life to be about how much pain I can tolerate.Financially, I am struggling. I am a migrant without access to Medicare, and professional mental health support can cost an enormous amount. When you are already broke and trying to cover rent, bills, food and debt, paying hundreds of dollars for therapy does not feel realistically possible.I currently do part-time work and things like Uber or rideshare to survive. I understand that work is work, and I am grateful that I have some way to earn money, but doing this indefinitely feels like a prison. Every day is about making enough to survive the next week, without getting closer to the career or life I came here to build.I feel stuck between not wanting to leave Australia and being unable to find a sustainable way to stay. Going back feels like giving up on everything I sacrificed to come here, but continuing like this is exhausting me financially, emotionally and mentally.The loneliness makes everything worse. I don’t have a partner or a strong support system around me every day. People often give advice, but much of it comes from people who have never had to deal with migration, visa uncertainty, financial pressure, health problems and repeated career rejection all at the same time.I am not asking for motivational quotes or to be told to “just keep applying.” I have been doing that. I am asking for honest advice from anyone who has been trapped in a similar survival cycle and eventually found a way forward.How did you rebuild your life when you were exhausted, broke and unsure whether the country you had chosen still had a place for you? How do you decide whether to keep fighting, change careers, move countries or start again?Right now, I genuinely don’t know what to do anymore. I am trying to hold on and find a path that gives me more than just another week of survival. I could really use some understanding, support and practical advice.

One_More_Day Total Disconnect
  • replies: 7

Years of no connection - lost friends, family, job, house, massive weight gain unable to get out of bed with zero motivation, a total void of hopeless incapacitated existence. Deep gried loss and sadness unable to get back to basics. Despair, useless... View more

Years of no connection - lost friends, family, job, house, massive weight gain unable to get out of bed with zero motivation, a total void of hopeless incapacitated existence. Deep gried loss and sadness unable to get back to basics. Despair, useless lonely loser with no prospects - happiness and meaning gone. Impossible alone. Too far gone now. Curl up and hide all courage lost all will away in bed every day unable to hold a job anymore. In family home about to be sold then nowhere. A burden, a waste, out for the count. Doctors, medication nothing working anymore. Hour after hour days weeks months years alone, totally alone.

Lilly18 Help
  • replies: 6

Can I hear what you'd do if you were me. I feel like I have exhausted all options to treat my depression. Has anyone ever got better from depression? I really need help i cant function.

Can I hear what you'd do if you were me. I feel like I have exhausted all options to treat my depression. Has anyone ever got better from depression? I really need help i cant function.

Happydays Depression Sucks
  • replies: 1

Hi Ive had depression most of my life and it sucks It’s hard when you have trouble dealing with it It’s not like a bad mood where you normally come out of it in a reasonable timeframe Sometimes I can be doing things I actually enjoy and still be depr... View more

Hi Ive had depression most of my life and it sucks It’s hard when you have trouble dealing with it It’s not like a bad mood where you normally come out of it in a reasonable timeframe Sometimes I can be doing things I actually enjoy and still be depressed How does that work Hard on people around you as well

Jessksch How can I learn to enjoy things in every day life? Everything I wanted to do I failed in
  • replies: 2

I have always had trouble enjoying things in front of me. Even as a child I would dream of a pegasus coming out of the sky and taking me away from boring life to a beautiful and happy world that had adventure. I'm over 35 now, working and have a grea... View more

I have always had trouble enjoying things in front of me. Even as a child I would dream of a pegasus coming out of the sky and taking me away from boring life to a beautiful and happy world that had adventure. I'm over 35 now, working and have a great life (while not being rich) and no kids but a loving partner and cats I love. I always did things or hobbies because I got attention and that's what gave my life purpose: to impress my family, to impress the bullies someday and regret being mean to me, being special. But all my dreams have never turned into fruition and I guess that's a good thing as I went after things with this only as motivation and it would have corrupted me so quickly. I work a small retail job but am very happy with it, people are nice I work with and I get to help people without having to make commission sales and force them to buy things (I hated that, I don't like lying to people so I hate sales). I have always wanted to become a graphic novel artist, become a great artist and make characters and meet my childhood crush was a motivation for a long time.However, after finishing uni 10 years ago I realized my illustrations were just not good, I tried commissions, never sold anything, tried drawing comic book pages, nobody liked them...it ruined me for a while. It was only after still trying till I was 34 to sell things and get into art that I have decided to give up as it was making me miserable. I came to terms now after a year or two that it's not worth it, I was chasing the wrong kind of dreams and to just be happy with myself and what I create, to "create for fun". However, I can't seem to do it or get joy out of anything? I play video games but now as many games have not updated, I am bored of it. I start a hobby but of course the novelty wears off I and I get bored. I am too afraid to paint again as no matter how hard I try, the end is never good enough for me or others. I can't seem to get joy or look forward to anything anymore. I don't have aims anymore because my all my dreams have gone wrong even when trying so hard ( tried to be a vet nurse the last 5 years but was bullied so much I had enough of it too). Everythign seems to have been discovered or done and nothing in the world excites me anymore and I don't know what to do. It's just video games and work and caring for my pets and partner and I am so bored and depressed not having an aim anymore as I keep failing at everything I wanted to achieved.

Guest_35450387 Wife wants a separation / divorce
  • replies: 1

Need advice, My wife feels I have let her down over our past 17 years with lack of action and listening to her needs, I do a lot for our relationship, but I think it’s more about what I think I need to do and not what she needs. She feels neglected a... View more

Need advice, My wife feels I have let her down over our past 17 years with lack of action and listening to her needs, I do a lot for our relationship, but I think it’s more about what I think I need to do and not what she needs. She feels neglected and trapped. I want to support her and listen to her but feel so overwhelmed with work and responsibilities around the house that I am exhausted. We both have anxiety and my depression is really struggling right now. I have tried to read about approaches to talk and have structured methods but so far I have failed to communicate at every step. I feel broken, lost and don’t know what to do next. We don’t have kids, just our 4 dogs that are our children.

Ollienells feeling disconnected and incapable
  • replies: 3

I feel like I have spent the last 3ish years trying to gain myself back but it's so hard to let go of feelings and bad habits. I'm generally ok with everything at this point and can get through most days with distractions because I'm used to feeling ... View more

I feel like I have spent the last 3ish years trying to gain myself back but it's so hard to let go of feelings and bad habits. I'm generally ok with everything at this point and can get through most days with distractions because I'm used to feeling like this, but there is a deep emptiness in me and I wish things were different. It genuinely feels like I have lost my spark and I think half the time I am disassociating. The thing is I feel like myself when I am by myself but in public and around other people, I instantly revert to wanting to be invisible. And it works because no one really notices me or cares. The bar is so low that any little thing that someone does for me, makes me feel seen. Even though I'm comfortable by myself, what makes me sad is that people don't really know me and I don't have any true close friends anymore. I've noticed that even when I try make new friends, I struggle to put in effort and open up because I think I'm scared to get close to people. I have realised this is all because of my past experiences. Ever since I was little I struggled to fit in and I never really felt like I belonged anywhere because I was insecure about how I looked. After I started feeling more confident I opened up more but that led me to bury the extroverted side of myself because I felt criticised for it. I just came off as annoying and I started to believe that, along with feeling like a burden and people not caring about me. This made me push away a lot of people I cared about, self isolate and become insecure again. Now I'm trying to move on from all of that but change is hard for me because it takes so much effort for me to do anything. I have tried incorporating good habits, making new friends, and trying new things but it never lasts. Starting is the hardest part. I won't say there hasn't been any progress but it's all so slow. And I can't help but compare myself to my peers who seem like they have it together. It's especially hard right now because recently I barely graduated and now I have been trying to find a job in the industry but I feel so incapable. That's a whole other problem. Anyway, this was a bit of a rant and sorry if some things don't make sense. I would like some advice from people who have succeeded in getting out of a rut. Honestly any related advice would be greatly appreciated. I mainly just want to feel comfortable enough to be myself around people, without any shields up.

Mao Feeling stuck.
  • replies: 2

Hey everyone, I hope you're all doing well! This is my first time talking in a forum like this and I dont even know where to start, ive genuinely been rewriting this for the past 4 hours but theres just so much context I cant fit in here so im just g... View more

Hey everyone, I hope you're all doing well! This is my first time talking in a forum like this and I dont even know where to start, ive genuinely been rewriting this for the past 4 hours but theres just so much context I cant fit in here so im just gonna go for the basics and give context as needed so im really sorry if it sounds confusing. I feel extremely stuck in life right now. Im currently 22 and have been dealing with anxiety and depression like symptoms (cant say for sure I have depression cos my psychologist said she didnt believe in label like thus I never got a confirmation) for the past 5 years and ive started questioning the meaning of life to the point where nothing seems worth it anymore. I know people say its about the journey and not the destination but I dont know why that just doesnt make sense in my head. I cant get myself to do anything, whether that be studying or even basic things like eating, unless its extremely easy and quick and I dont have to put in any work. I cant focus and all the things I used to enjoy now feel like chores and currently ive just been existing rather than living, if that makes any sense. I constantly feel home sick, even when im at home and I cant get myself to study for uni which consequently, makes me more stressed because I keep falling further and further behind. I feel like even though part of me says to keep going and keep trying, the rest of me has given up and has just accepted life means nothing so theres no point in anything and I just wish I was never born. (Although I do struggle with self harm and suicidal ideation, I dont think I would ever actually do anything because, ironically, thanks to my anxiety im too afraid of the unknown and whatever comes after life to do anything myself) Im just stuck in a limbo. I feel like a huge fraud too because nothing in my life has happened to make me feel this way and I dont know whats wrong with me and I barely understand what I feel. I dont even know if im here to look for advice or answers or just to let it out. This was probably all over the place and I think I just said a lot of nothing, specially since I cant even get myself to proofread all this because doing any sort of work creates like physical pain in my head and I genuinely dont understand why!! But I just needed to get something out or else I know ill keep rewriting it until I give up and drop the idea. Thank you to anyone who read this long and I hope you all find things to help with your problems in this forum.

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