Tired of life

[Guest_30208021]

I'm 17 four months of 18 I have depression and have since I was 15 I've been struggling since I was almost 13 I grew up with an abusive mum she emotionally, mentally, verbally and physically abused me and neglected me for 8 years I finally left her 10 months ago now I've been in and out of family's houses because I'm too much for them all my family have failed me now I feel like I'm failing I'm 17 living in a refuge now licence working on getting a casual job getting youth allowance once a fortnight but I go through my money fast even when I try to budget I feel like such a disappointment because my mum's in jail and my biological father's slowly dying from cancer I have nothing to do with either of them and barely their families I try my best to go to school but the buses in the mornings are so unreliable I've had struggles sleeping since I was 10 because of my upbringing I've recently got tested positive for ADHD and I have autism along with PTSD and anxiety I have really bad eating issues and have tried multiple times to get better but just end up back at square one I go to counseling once a month and talk to my wellbeing teacher but I feel so hopeless my life's a mess and I feel like I've failed myself I can barely concentrate at school and my attendance is getting meh I'm not eating properly and haven't for a long time I constantly get told I need to stop being so hard on myself but that's how I grew up some days and nights I just wanna give up at times... but I give up on life I try so hard and still end up taking steps back I feel like I'm a mess of a 17 year old 

[Marmot]

How I wish I could say I can imagine what you are going through. I know you've probably had the same life sucks sometimes cliche, but honestly you have so much strength for still being here. What you've been through is terrible, and yet you are still here, you've taken the hits but you ducked and rolled and got back up. You are stronger than you think you are. I for one don't think I would have made it as far as you have. You've just got to keep pushing forward, you've gotten hit with so much bad, that means you're due for so much good.