Hi Marmot
I think the thing about today's generation is they're so good at feeling but the problem can sometimes involve no one being willing to help make better sense of those feelings. For example, you could say 'I feel so lost' and someone could say 'You just need to get on with life'. Hang on sec, how do you get on with life without a sense of direction? Where do you head? Or you could say to someone 'I feel so depressed' or 'I feel so stressed/anxious' and they might say 'You just need to toughen up and stop being so sensitive'. What?!🤔 Okay, so you can sense something or someone depressing you or you can sense something or someone leading you to stress and the advice is virtually 'Stop sensing so much'. Sometimes people may as well be saying 'You need to become as insensitive as me. Look at me, how well I can't sense. I can't even sense how stressed or depressed you are'😁 Truth is, I've found there are a heck of a lot of skills and strategies to be gained as a sensitive person. Sensitivity comes with a lot of abilities as well. For example, if I put you in a room full of people and asked you to sense who the 5 most degrading people in the room are, I bet you could sense them.
Personally, I struggled with shyness something shocking when I was younger and misinterpreted that as me being 'boring'. Based on the amazing people I've met over the years, all those amazing people had the ability to help bring out the best in me. The less amazing people just let me vibe in shyness and even criticised it in some cases, labeling me as 'boring'. Then there are those who are engaging and love leading conversations. They are brilliant leaders who have a talent for engaging us to be more chatty. If we remain shy, you could say we're continuing to meet with the wrong people, those people who don't bring out the best in us.
Marmot, parents can be highly questionable people at times. I should know, I'm one myself (a mum). It can be seriously hard to get us to question ourself at times. We can also be unreasonable. It's like you could say to a parent 'Why can't I do that?' and they may come back with 'I don't need to give you a reason'. Question them again and they may say 'Don't question me, just do as you're told'. You could even give them a valid reason for doing what you want to do, to which they may say 'I don't care'. Okay, thanks for establishing you don't care. Maybe I'll go and speak to someone who does care. Parents can definitely be strange people. It was actually my kids who taught me to be a more reasonable person. The more I listen to them, the more I learn. Some parents inherit their parents' inability to hear what their child is trying to tell them. As you say, there's that saying 'Children should be seen and not heard'. It's such a shame that belief continues to be passed through the generations. It can be such a destructive belief, that's for sure.
