Hi Moody-_ahhhhh
At one of the most challenging times in your life, in so many ways, I feel for you so much. How to pull apart every single challenge from what feels like one enormous overwhelming challenge can be a hard thing to achieve at times. From my own experience, I think what can make it so hard is based on how so many things can be tied in together.
- Looking at moods and emotions is one thing
- Looking at energy levels is another
- Looking at social contact or lack of it is another
- Looking at guidance and direction of some kind is another
- Structure is another
- A sense of comfort and safety vs discomfort or stress and finding the right balance is another
- A sense of vision (through imagination) is another
- The right kind of inner dialogue is yet another factor
and the list goes on. While our situations are different, I can relate to the need to address all of those things in my life right now. When you look at the amount of challenges, I think it's fair for us to say 'No wonder I'm struggling, there's so much to consider'. We seriously need to be much kinder and more compassionate towards ourself as we deal with far more than we perhaps imagine.
While I think biology, chemistry and psychology have their place in this world and it can be incredibly handy and important to have an understanding and measuring of all those things, I find sometimes is pays to strip things back to basics. Using 'passion' for example, without defining the physical chemistry we experience through passion, let's talk about how passion simply feels. To have a lot of it feels invigorating and energising. To have a depressing lack of it feels...well...depressing. It can be the feeling of no life running through us. Without passion, there is no sense of inspiration or sense of drive to feel. While I could question 'How do I generate more dopamine, more serotonin, more oxytocin etc etc (chemistry that can all relate to excitement and passion)?', someone led me to consider the other day what is far more simple. Something worth considering, 'How to generate enough passion with which to fuel a new habit'. I know, easier said than done. For example, if we wanted to get into the habit of making significant progress with a therapist or counselor, there will be a need to develop a passion for making significant progress. Instead of walking into the therapist's office hoping we make progress, we'll have to passionately insist on making progress. The force behind such insistence will push the therapist. If it doesn't, we'll need to find a new therapist who'll work at a more effective rate. The frequency and volume of progress will generate more energy in us, more excitement. If we're a real feeler, slow progress (at a snail's pace) can feel painful, boring, uneventful, unexciting, hopeless, depressing (in some cases) and lacking in so much of the emotions that we really need to feel.
I think a sense of passion is a major key to unlocking so much. The question becomes 'What's the first thing I need to unlock on my list, the first thing I need to become passionate about?'. While we may not have the energy to leave the house or the energy to make new friends or the energy to physically exercise, maybe the first port of call when it comes to generating passion involves unlocking things through research or therapy or something that doesn't demand a lot of energy from us. It's hard to give what we just don't have and just as hard to give toward that which we have no passion for.
