The warmest of welcomes to you while I feel so deeply for you and your son. Such a heartbreaking painful place for you to be in.
In hindsight, I can see how I could have made more of a difference to my almost 19yo son when he faced years of bullying at school (primary and secondary). He and I agree 'Better late than never' when it comes to gaining a perspective that will come to serve him for life.
While my husband's 'advice' was always typically 'Just hit 'em' or 'Just ignore them', it has never been in my son's nature to go around hitting people and when it feels like people are eating away at your soul bit by painful bit, that's kind of hard to ignore. It was a personal revelation for me that partly changed things for my son. While I'm a sensitive kinda gal and while being shamed for being so sensitive for so many years, I was eventually led to the revelation 'Sensitivity is not a weakness, it's simply about the ability to sense. Some people will be able to do it more easily and more deeply that others'. It's a powerful ability. Okay, so what can I sense? The answer is a lot of the same things as my son. Yes, I can sense depressing, anxiety inducing, highly questionable and overall a*****le behaviour from others. It feels depressing, stressful, questionable and more. This puts a whole different spin on sensitivity. My son was never the one with the fault or faults (as he once believed), he was the one with the ability (to sense the behaviour and nature of others). In reality, it was never his problem that others couldn't sense their own mental health issues, their own questionable behaviour, their own abusive nature, their own soul destroying ways. They made their problems his problems. When I say 'their mental health issues', it is in no way a sign of good mental health when someone goes around destroying others for their own personal amusement. That's seriously messed up stuff and requires serious attention.
So, with that whole different spin on sensitivity, our kids can be seen as being incredibly able and powerful. They can feel more than most. My 21yo daughter's also a sensitive gal yet she comes with a feistiness I envy at times. I smile when I say my son, daughter and myself can be all sitting the dinner table with my husband when he says something that leads the 3 of us to all look at each other. We can all sense/feel what he just said. It's my daughter who'll typically speak up with something along the lines of 'What the hell would lead you to say that?! You're insane. Can you not feel what you just said?'. Then my son and I will try not to laugh. Sometimes it can take a sensitive person to sense a self proclaimed 'normal' person's insane ways of thinking 😁.
Btw, 'Sensitive Is The New Strong', by Anita Moorjani, is a good read for a sensitive person. While everything in that book may not resonate or be relatable, some parts may help lead to empowering revelations. It may help put your son 'in (a state of) charge', giving him back his power. He's far more powerful than he realises. Believing we are completely powerless can feel so intensely depressing and soul destroying. A false belief can be a torturous thing. To gradually 'come to our senses' strategically and confidently is so important.
