Stuck and really struggling

[Nikki_24]

Hi guys, I'm not sure if posting on here will help, or if anything anyone says will help - feel like there's nothing that will help me feel better at the moment - but i'm really desperate.

I've felt stuck for 2-3 weeks now. It started when i felt incredibly lonely. I don't have many friends and the friends i do have i rarely get to see and don't feel like they care about me much anyways. I feel like i have no one to talk to. I've begun to feel really depressed and alone, and then very anxious and stressed. I have 2 assessments for uni that i'm trying to get through, they are due soon but i'm really struggling to do them. I feel so out of it, i can't concentrate. I'm not interested in my uni work anymore, but at the same time i'm really stressed by it because i have to get it done in time. I have no energy, i've been sitting around in my room the last week doing nothing. I feel miserable, but i feel like it's partly my fault because i should be putting more effort in to think positive and get out of the house etc but i don't have the energy to do that.

I have tried a few things, like meditation, reading stuff on here, talking to someone on the crisis chat, i've been learning about dancing/shaking to release stress etc and i've tried that a few times (felt absolutely ridiculous but it did make me feel better for a little while). Some of these things have helped briefly but then i feel awful again and i don't have the energy to keep on fighting it and trying all these different things to feel better. I feel so out of control - like i can't control my feelings or thoughts, i can't get out of this depressed and anxious state. I feel afraid that i won't be able to get out of it, and ashamed for being in this state.

I have felt like this before and it has always passed, i'm trying to remind myself that this will pass too, but it always comes back. I don't want to spend the rest of life continually experiencing this cycle. I've put in so much to heal and overcome this, but i keep returning to this. I hate it. I feel like i'm not making progress. I feel like it's my fault.

I want to ask someone to help me but at the same time i don't feel like there's really much anyone can do

[Captain Australia]

My grandmother used to collect recipes. She was a really lovely human being.

So you'd mix certain elements and when combined in that certain way, wind up with a pot-pie or a cheesecake or whatever.

I'm no expert, worse, I'm a boofhead - but I think state-of-mind outcomes also require a certain recipe. Add a mix of stress to a feeling of isolation/mistrust, take away emotional nourishment, and you can wind up triggering anxiety and depression.

The anxiety and depression may always be there in the background, that part I don't know how to solve (and I personally honestly doubt the so-called professionals have any great trade secrets either, other than 'listening')

Now take that for a second. Telling your troubles, having someone listen, is helpful to survivorship of depression. So .. it's eliminating one component from the recipe - 'insufficient emotional nourishment'. Tweaking the recipe means that we might wind up with a different result.

So .. my suggestion. (Firstly, don't feel ashamed, you are who you are, you have every right to be here, just like anyone else. There are scumbags, evil people in this world, and you're not one of them. You have a right to be helped, a right to seek happiness).

Sorry, yeah .. my suggestion. Tweak the recipe. Take individual elements and see if it nudges the result away from this feeling you have of dissociation, depression. If exam-stress is part of it - well, red bull up and push the bad-boy out .. don't strive for excellent, get it out of the way, aim for a pass, and if you fail, we'll write you a letter saying there was a mental health issue and they better let you try again when you're feeling better 🙂

I know, 100% know that there's people out there available to you who can sit, drink tea and listen.

It's really hard to see the good things in our life when we are broken, but if you proceed on trust and start to solve the small bits, you'll get a bit of forward momentum, I reckon.

I don't have any special insight, and I'm sorry if my suggestions are no good. I do know suffering, and there's one thing about it that I think is important to recognise: it doesn't last forever, and there are things you can to do avoid or minimise it.

[Nikki_24]

Thank you so much for your reply! 🙂

I took your advice and hit up the red bulls, was feeling a lot better today and have managed to get a good chunk of my assessment done. I reckon you're very right when you say to focus on small things to get a bit of momentum going. I've been thinking about what you said the past couple of days and trying to make little changes to my 'recipe', bit hard to do when i'm at a total low but once i feel a tad better and can do something small it does help. So thank you very much for your advice! 🙂