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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Infinite_Faith Compounded depression.
  • replies: 41

Hi, I've been a member of Beyond Blue for several years, although, it's been sometime since I have logged into my account. I have been battling my problems alone. Now I am back because, I'm really feeling a new low. Just when you think things can't g... View more

Hi, I've been a member of Beyond Blue for several years, although, it's been sometime since I have logged into my account. I have been battling my problems alone. Now I am back because, I'm really feeling a new low. Just when you think things can't get any worse and the only way from the bottom is up - bang something else in life punches in you face. This was another of those days. It would be nice to connect with someone on here that understands what it's like to suffer depression, someone that you don't have to explain why it's happening. If we knew why, we would fix ourselves and we wouldn't need such services. My partner often asks "what can I do to help?". There is no answer to that question. Some of use are susceptible to depression through many reasons, there is not just one single answer. I am a musician - and today we are the last on the list to find our new "Covid Normal". Musicians don't get a mention. The arts sector sits on the bottom of essential services, yet so many turn to music for comfort. Why is that? Why are we on the bottom of the pile while then called upon as the first to help and cure wounded spirits and sad and lonely souls? That's just the way it is. Today, my depression was compounded. To take my mind off depression and Covid (And the worlds problems) I purchased a secondhand electronic drum kit. The guy seemed honest. You see there is a shortage of such devices, everything is on "back order" or I would have purchased a new unit. I get it home and at first I was happy, over joyed, excited. "Wow what a get instrument, what a great honest seller. " That soon turned to despair when I discovered a fault in the unit and this great honest person turn out to be another rouge seller, palming off his faulty goods to the unsuspecting. Trusting people is a problem. Honesty is a dying commodity, integrity, to some, it doesn't matter. They just don't care. I asked for my money back, but no, apparently he was un-aware of the fault although the kit was only used a couple of times. So my new broken drum kit, that was to help me, distract me, sits as a reminder never to trust people. No mater how honest you are, mentally projecting your values on others, giving them your values is a mistake. Money is all that seems to matter. What a sad world we live in where money is valued more than ones on integrity. They don't loose any sleep, we do for being foolish and to trusting.

HanARGHH Grief, Loss and Depression all at once, losing too much weight but just have no motivation to eat or do anything
  • replies: 2

Just over a week ago i found out the person i had been actively persuing for six and a half months who also happen to be the person i considered my best friend who i felt i could tell anything to and we would stay up all hours of the day and night to... View more

Just over a week ago i found out the person i had been actively persuing for six and a half months who also happen to be the person i considered my best friend who i felt i could tell anything to and we would stay up all hours of the day and night to talk, had an online ldr gf of a year and a half, neither of us (her and me) knew, i immediately confronted him and he told me he confessed to her, not believing him (which ended up being a intuitive thing cause i found out today i was right, he lied) i sent her 100s of screenshots of our conversations and a long message to explain my side, i never would have gone near anyone knowing they have a SO as i have been cheated on and i know how much it hurts, she still hasn’t seen them due to privacy settings on fb though but i told him i sent them too her as she has a right to know as well as told him to sort his life out an get help for doing this to people, i feel so betrayed, sick, upset and lost... i know i deserve better then this but i also am struggling with coming to terms with the loss, we have gone from talking for hours every day to nothing, I haven’t been able to eat, the thought makes me sick..i have been having dark thoughts and my depression has crept in (i have been battling it for 15 years) i just don’t know what to do, im losing too much weight (i am 58kg and) 5’9” mentally i am bothered by it but i just cant bring myself to eat or do anything right now, part of me is just like well if you die you die, ohwell. How do i get out of this? I feel so damn lost and I don’t know what to do, i miss having that person to talk to every day but at the same time i could never trust him again and I wouldn’t even try because i don’t think it’s appropriate while he is with her that we even talk and try to build it back up a friendship at all.. i just want to move on and be able to try to eat but everything is a chore, living even feels like one, i’m just so lost.

Warrierdown25 I thought I was coping and getting better now this
  • replies: 2

So I have been dealing with depression self identified for about 4 years now. I have had periods of time when I'm great and periods of time when I have been so down that every single day felt like a marathon just to get out of bed. In the last week o... View more

So I have been dealing with depression self identified for about 4 years now. I have had periods of time when I'm great and periods of time when I have been so down that every single day felt like a marathon just to get out of bed. In the last week or two I have been coping really well. Been really happy and felt like I was back on track. One of the biggest sources of my depression is feeling not good enough or not doing things well enough. A big one as a mum is everything being in order for the kids and their school life. Being late to school is something that makes me feel like a horrible mum. The last few semesters I have been on top of it with only 2 Kate slips needed. This morning the kids were making Christmas cards I was helping them. From 6am to 730. Then I started to remind them it's time to get ready for school over and over and over again. They finished them at 8. I knew then we would be maybe ten minutes late. Then when we are in the car I realised I forgot to order the lunch orders for school. So I decided to go to subwy and pick up lunch for them there. I spent over thirty dollars on footlongs drink and cookies for them. I get in the car and one of my son's who suffers severe anxiety ocd says but I don't have my lunch box. I knew at that point it was over there was no way he would go to school he already had anxiety about doing the Christmas cards and now I have completely ruined their school day. When I'm driving past the school to drop my other son of I see the activity that I had paid for them to do today had already started so I have even more ruined their day. I started wailing in the car and crying uncontrollable. I pulled over and cried and cried and cried. I dropped my other son of who really wanted to go despite all the mess I had made of it. I cried nearly the whole way home when I stoppyand apologies to my children for crying and making them feel sad and scared. I'm now home but I'm staying in the car by myself until I can get myself together. I'm still crying. I don't know what's worse the way I am over reacting or the fact I have ruined their day. Or the fact that I tried so so hard and failed anyway. I feel angry sad and stupid and idk if I can forgive myself for ruining their day. I feel like committing suicide as the only way to punish myself for what I have done. I know that's an overreaction and the depression talking and wont do that to my kids.

The_lost_one Depression please help
  • replies: 2

I'm really lost I haven't brushed my hair in like a month and keep plucking out my eyebrow hair Can't seem to keep a job as I have manic attacks and break down all the time. Someone please help me

I'm really lost I haven't brushed my hair in like a month and keep plucking out my eyebrow hair Can't seem to keep a job as I have manic attacks and break down all the time. Someone please help me

Probitionism I dont know where to start
  • replies: 3

As mentioned above, making the choice to try and get help is a step in itself for me, however im not entirely sure how to get going. Im aware theres alot of info on this site but i personally value the opinions and experiences of everyone here. Pleas... View more

As mentioned above, making the choice to try and get help is a step in itself for me, however im not entirely sure how to get going. Im aware theres alot of info on this site but i personally value the opinions and experiences of everyone here. Please tell me how you got started, and how i might follow in the same way. Thank you

lauaadeline depression
  • replies: 2

I feel bad for even writing anything I just want someone to be there for me i reach out to all of my friends, my boyfriend they have nothing to say. I even read into the depth of my contacts to see who will answer me and who will check if i’m ok. but... View more

I feel bad for even writing anything I just want someone to be there for me i reach out to all of my friends, my boyfriend they have nothing to say. I even read into the depth of my contacts to see who will answer me and who will check if i’m ok. but none of them do. and maybe it’s because i’m the problem but I try everything to not be the problem and to be a good friend and good girlfriend and it’s not enough. no one cares. I almost killed my self tonight and on one tried to stop me because no one cared enough to answer my texts. I’m tired and I just want to die because then it would be over and they would realise I wasn’t just lying for attention when I told them how upset I was

CB81 Feeling hollow
  • replies: 2

Hi, I feel I’m running out of options. I was actually ok during lockdown and I’ve still got a full-time job I can do from home so I felt blessed. But the pain of being 39 and always single stings. It’s taken me a while to get over someone (even thoug... View more

Hi, I feel I’m running out of options. I was actually ok during lockdown and I’ve still got a full-time job I can do from home so I felt blessed. But the pain of being 39 and always single stings. It’s taken me a while to get over someone (even though he was never mine as he had a GF). He played games and it was on again off again but he’s had me blocked for over a year and it’a fed into my feelings of worthlessness. I’m trying bumble again and I don’t get any messages back. I’ve lost capacity for joy. Life seems like just work and obligations. I’ve got a spa weekend on my own coming up and looking forward to it. I guess at 39 I feel more of a social outcast for not having married. The only things anchoring me at moment are exercise, work and reading. But i am scared I’m never going to be happy again or date. I cry myself to sleep most nights. Last night I took a benzodiazepine which helps. I guess I wanted to ask has anyone really changed and become happier after being so low for ages. Anyone actually meet anyone after 39 without being looked at like a weirdo for not being married?

Dobbs88 Despondent
  • replies: 4

Hi all, thanks for letting me reach out. I should start off by saying I’m rather lucky in life, I have a lovely partner and friends. i have a history of depression and ocd. I’m working in a job where it’s taboo to talk about mental illness. It’s also... View more

Hi all, thanks for letting me reach out. I should start off by saying I’m rather lucky in life, I have a lovely partner and friends. i have a history of depression and ocd. I’m working in a job where it’s taboo to talk about mental illness. It’s also highly competitive. Positions are heavily sought after. I had my sights set on a certain position for the future. But it required pre requisite experience. I spoke to the appropriate people before jobs were given out for next year about how they could help me gain the right rotations in my job next year for this. They said they’d do all they could to help. When jobs were released a week ago though they had given me no rotations in these areas at all, giving these rotations to everyone in my particular “stream” except for me. I was devastated. These people also will not respond to emails or pick up their phones. Im gutted. The very nature of these positions means no experience this year prohibits you from getting experience the following year and so on. This has jeopardised my career before it really began. Since this happened I’ve stopped seeing my friends, family, having horrible thoughts, struggled to sleep and eat. I desperately try to hide how bad Im feeling at work because i feel ashamed and humiliated. My family can’t understand so I avoid talking to them and I havent explained to my partner how down I’m feeling. I can’t see a way forward in my career at all now and I feel like I’ve lost everything I worked so hard for.

mocha delight Am I really that forgettable?
  • replies: 5

So it’s now officially my birthday today and I’m 33 and it seems to my family it’s nothing worth mentioning. So apparently I’ll be spending it alone tonight as my parents will not be home for dinner as it seems work is more important. Also not celebr... View more

So it’s now officially my birthday today and I’m 33 and it seems to my family it’s nothing worth mentioning. So apparently I’ll be spending it alone tonight as my parents will not be home for dinner as it seems work is more important. Also not celebrated my birthday in a quite a while with friends as the very little friends I do have are always to busy as I’ve noticed it gets like that even from the start of December as I like to say as Christmas is in the same month so I call it the silly season month. So I guess I’ll be spending it alone and will end up doing some emotional eating as I’m an emotional eater and will turn to some fattening comfort food.

Claire_4 Conflicting emotions
  • replies: 5

Lately I’ve been feeling so confused with my emotions. One moment I’m fine and the next I have this aching feeling in my chest and all I want to do is cry. Nothing has happened that can justify this feeling, so I keep it to myself because whenever I ... View more

Lately I’ve been feeling so confused with my emotions. One moment I’m fine and the next I have this aching feeling in my chest and all I want to do is cry. Nothing has happened that can justify this feeling, so I keep it to myself because whenever I hint at even feeling down, I get asked "what happened? why do you feel like this?" and it makes me hurt even more because nothing happened and I don’t know why I feel like this. I don’t have a right to feel like this, people who have been hurt badly, have been through trauma, they have the right to feel like this, but why do I feel like this. And then there’s this "why me?", what a selfish thing to say, right, because it isn't just me. there’s about a billion and more people in this world who feel the same but even then, I feel like everyone else has the right to feel the way they feel but me. I grow up in a happy family, so what on gods earth do I have to be sad for, nothing. I go through these phases, first I’m fine, then I fall into this stage of “blue” where everything I do feels forced and half-hearted and then I have this “reflective” stage and then back to the start again. And it seems like I’m doing fine but each time I fall into these blue stages, I seem to be falling deeper and it gets harder and takes longer to get out of. It's making me more tired and lately there’s this one question that won’t leave my mind. What is the point of life? or simply, what is the point? I have anxiety and the one thing I’ve been told is that no matter what you do, your anxiety isn't going away, it is a lifelong battle that you have to learn how to fight. And it's the same as this feeling. It is never going away; it will always be there. And then I think about life in general. you wake up, go to work, then you go to bed and then do that all over again till you retire. put that plus these feelings of anxiety and depression. what’s the point? I just don’t get it. But at the same time, I could never just leave this world, because I know the pain that would cause my family. and there’s this quote I once read that comes to mind " Cherish every single moment that comes by ladies and gentleman. The day you wasted today is the tomorrow that someone who died yesterday so badly wished for." And it would just be even more selfish of me to give up now, when I don't know what the future might bring, and I have the luxury of a future whereas there are many who don't. So, as you can see my emotions are conflicting. What should I do?