Postnatal depression and loneliness

[Codie_ann]

Hi all, ive recently had a baby and my partner is fifo, all my family live in other states and ive been struggling with loneliness alot lately. Trying to find things to fill my days at home with my baby seem very difficult and i just feel so lonely and empty in the house by myself all day, i try and get out the house but i dont see the point as i dont have anywhere to go or anything to do, my friend circle is very small and everyone is at work during the day so im by myself all day long. Anyone else going through something similar?

[Summer Rose]

Hi Codie Ann

Welcome to the bb forum and thank you for sharing your story.

Congratulations on the arrival of your child. I hope you are recovering well from the birth and getting some sleep.

I’m really sorry to hear that you’re struggling with loneliness and I’m sending you a hug.

It might help to know that many mums have a similar experience. I can remember feeling much the same as you when I had my first child.

My husband was home but working 6 days a week, my family was overseas and I really struggled without my work mates. I lost a sense of my identity and like you found it to be a very long day in the house, without much to do.

Fortunately, I met a group of other new mums through my local maternal and child health care centre. It was a lifesaver. We’d do coffee, lunch, walks, etc.

Do you have such a centre near by? Could you ask your GP about how to connect with other new mums?

I also got busy in my local community. If you have a local community centre or neighbourhood house, I encourage you to go for a visit and see what they have to offer. If you join a class or group of some sort hopefully you will meet some new people.

As your baby grows there will be more options open to you. Story time at the library, swimming lessons for baby and mum, visits to the toy library. There are also local playgroups around.

Travel is tricky at present due to COVID but maybe you could invite a family member for a visit. Or go visiting yourself? I’m just thinking it might give you something to look forward to.

Post any time. Talking here might give you some other ideas and ease the loneliness.

Kind thoughts to you

[geoff]

Hi Codie ann, and a warm welcome to you.

PND and all the other types of depression are all lonely because we can't understand the reason why we should feel this way, there doesn't seem to be any explanation in most situations.

A new baby can often be demanding in what they need or you could be lucky and have a charming baby who eats and sleeps without any trouble, but even then you could still become lonely.

My wife had PND with our second child and I wasn't much help as I had to run a family hotel with minimal staff, so I was occupied with trying to establish a hotel that needed to begin a new clientele and get rid of those people who were dominating the hotel, unfortunately, I developed PND which made our situation very difficult, thankful my mother in law was living in the hotel and was a great help.

Are you able to find some new friends who have also just had a baby and feeling exactly the same as you are feeling and these people may be found at the health centre and please remember that if you are feeling like this, then there will be other new mums that know what you're going through.

Take care.

Geoff.