I have been through some bad relationships in my past. I've been through two very emotionally abusive relationships and I've dealt with men seeing me as something to "conquer" for the past few years. It's made me very untrusting of men. I recently opened myself up earlier this year to someone who I got along with very well. I've been quite closed off to the idea of being with anyone as I find I'm my most productive and my happiest self without the emotional weight of dating. This guy tried for quite a while though and eventually I allowed myself to enjoy being with someone. He made me feel really happy and appreciated, we spoke every day and given my experiences I thought I had a good read on him and could trust him. We slept together a few times, but then he began to change and wasn't the same kind, friendly person he'd been before. I became panicked at the thought that I'd let something like this happen to me again.When I voiced my feelings of upset to him, he didn't understand and tried to make me think that it had been in my head and I didn't have a right to be feeling manipulated the way I was. Whenever I try to express how I feel he tells me that I am being aggressive, having attitude or that I'm just starting an argument. He now treats me with no respect.
This all happened in July and I thought I'd be feeling better by now but I feel worse. I've been through bouts of depression the past few years and am medicated for it. I usually manage to get over things quite fast as a result of the other things I've been through but for some reason this one is crippling me. I cry every night, sometimes I cry out of sadness and others its anger. He has no respect or feeling towards me and I feel like I didn't just lose a friend, but someone who I'd begun to open myself up to romantically for the first time in so long. I trusted him and he turned around and hurt me. Sometimes I feel like I don't want to do anything all day and the idea of getting out of my bed is even too hard. I regret ever speaking to him and I just feel broken.
I rarely cry over a relationship or a boy but this one has hurt me so much worse than anything else. I just want to stop feeling how I feel towards him and feel like myself again. I usually know how to pull myself out of these low periods but it's been a few months now and I am really struggling.
