Hi burkey,
Your symptoms could be as a result of depression, but they also sound like anxiety. The 2 can often come hand in hand. You mentioned you've been on medication for a few years now. It may no longer be an adequate dose, it may be that you need to try a different variety. The other thing to consider is that antidepressants do little for anxiety. A mood stabiliser (or antipsychotic) is more helpful for this. Are you still seeing a Dr regularly? If so it would be worthwhile mentioning your symptoms to see whether there's an alternate to your current medication. If not, I'd definitely advise you to see a GP. You may also find some sessions with a Psychologist, and some exposure therapy useful.
It would be a shame to live your life away from others, and in the confines of your own home. I can understand that you have contemplated suicide, but this is definitely not the option. There are so many things you can do that would be far more helpful to you and your wife. It sounds like you love her very much, and no doubt she shares that same love for you. I'm sure if she knew that you felt this way, she too would be encouraging you to seek some professional advice.
You don't have to manage this on your own, and we are always here to listen and offer support. I hope you will let us know how you get on. You've taken a very brave step by posting here, one step at a time and you will get passed this. I've suffered anxiety and depression for a long time but there is definitely a silver lining to the cloud.
AGrace
