Something missing in your heart?

[Infinite_Faith]

Hi,

Just thought I would ask if anyone has experienced a sense that something is missing. Like a part of you. You are not complete?Or you don't feel connected to your family (Or close to others). I feel this huge emptiness, that seems to only be filled with sadness. I
am crying all the time, for no real reason. (Apart from my diagnosis, Major Depression, Anxiety, Panic)

I grew up in the Catholic Church, moved to Pentecostal, but lost my faith years ago. (I really believed in God when I was a child) In fact, our family lived in a old nunnery at one point. Right next door to the church. I was an alter boy. See that proves, I'm worthy 🙂

But this emptiness. It feels like somehow I am disconnected with the universe (or other people) (If that's possible) But again, it brings with it sadness. (If I let it, and I do, because it feels right) ??? With that comes searching. You sense something is not quite right then ask "what's missing".

Something is missing.

Appreciate any thoughts.

Thanks

IF

[LaylaBear15]

Dear IF,

I feel like that too but I dont know what it is that I am missing. The only way that I know and feel that something is missing is through:

• Heart Ache
• Headaches
• Sore throbbing jawline (Like you want to cry but you cant)
• Crying
• Anxiety attacks
• Depression

It helps to ​focus on one of these feelings (if you have any) or the feelings that you have when you are able to feel and recognise that something is missing. To be honest, that is a massive step...to relize that you have something missing. I have only just figured that all these feelings mean that I have something missing but I cant figure it out either. I figure, if you keep having that hope and faith that you know you still have (judging by your name) you will get through all of this. ❤️

-Layla x

[oz_robbo]

What you are feeling is perfectly natural. We all want to feel accepted, wanted. To be a part of a tribe, to feel valuable or useful. so don't be to hard on yourself for feeling an emptiness that everyone on the planet feels in some form or another.

Look into what your passions and hobbies are, spend time with those that share the same interests maybe. Anything can happen from there.

Best of life to you.

[littlewren]

Hi IF,

I'm glad I found your post, it's easy to imagine that I'm the only person who feels empty for no apparent reason like I do, but it's reassuring to know that I'm not alone. I was always really driven as a child and teen, most often called "effervescent" on my report cards - grew up an expat, moving all over the world and never stayed in one place, didn't have time to feel empty! But now as an adult I've been feeling this emptiness that cripples me, stops me from socialising and constantly makes me wonder 'what's the point?' It made me so anxious that I pushed people away, isolating myself and destroying my friendships, because the thought of responding to a message gave me anxiety. The depression stemmed from the emptiness, I would get so angry with myself for feeling sad when I had no reason to feel sad. Nothing absolutely awful happened to me, sure my Dad was mostly absent, but I had top grades at uni, successful hobbies and a caring Husband, whom I've managed to also push away. My family and friends don't understand and I don't understand! Everyone tell's you to Cheer Up and you just...can't? Now no job or activity is fulfilling, not even any of my relationships. I found myself googling "how to disappear without hurting anyone" because I'm not worthy of anyone's time or effort.

God is a presence in my life, I'm not religious but spiritual. But I got myself thinking maybe I'm being punished for having a good run! I'm 27, is it all downhill from here? What do you do when everything is right but you are still chest-achingly empty?

[Infinite_Faith]

Hello Littlewren,

Thanks for your post. I wish we could met in person and chat about this subject. It's a mystery to me why it happens, because like you in my younger years it never seemed effected me. But as I am older, I find that I have no friends and I also push people away. It's as if I am not worthy or can't get close to people. Sorry for the delay BTW, but I was per-occupied with a cyclone. I also have googled how to vanish in a very similar way. I wonder if it's not a form of not loving yourself (Myself) I also never stayed in one place very long. Not as lucky as you, seeing the world but my parents were always on the move due to my father alcoholism. Again, socializing I avoid just like you and I think for me its a confidence problem and also I am painfully shy. (And that doesn't help making friends) I think people just think I am rude. But it's far from the truth. (Just goes to show, never judge a book by its cover) I have destroyed friendships due to various reasons from, not making an effort to being abusive in my drinking years.

The similarities in our stories are so similar its spooky. I also avoid people on social media at times, because the thought of responding to a message gives me anxiety. Yet others seem to thrive with ease doing so.

Why are you angry for being sad? Please don't, you are just beating yourself up unnecessarily. I don't get angry myself for being sad, most of the time I try to figure out why. But I can't find any answers. You know you say your dad was not around much, is it possible that you were trying to get his approval. It could have been the smallest thing in your very early years that triggered this pattern, who knows? (I'm just throwing out my thoughts here) For me, it's low self esteem, I grew up thinking I was worthless. It seems the prophecy that was give to me has been fulfilled.

I doubt God punishes, I can't comment on this matter because I have lost my faith. Why? Because, God should be a tad more helpful. IMHO I see no evidence of God on planet earth. You no longer find anything fulfilling, similar story this end. I am a musician and dedicated years of my life to playing (and once loved it) but (lets call a spade a spade) depression has taken that pleasure away.

Are you close to your family? Do you tell each other how much you love them? Maybe even tell your friends how much they mean to you? These are lessons I am learning myself.

I hope God waves his love over you.