Sick of everything

[Lubenica]

Hi all,

I am just writing because I woke up this morning at 3am Perth time and my first thought was “I cannot do this anymore” and have cried for about an hour. Long story short, I have just returned from a trip to the US & New Zealand and just had my 30th birthday yesterday.I have been over my job for a while and have applied for numerous other positions to no avail.

I feel so down and out when I shouldn’t because I have everything. I am single with no kids which is what I want.

I travel a lot and have never felt this way after any of my trips..EVER!

Does anyone else feel like this or felt like this?

[PamelaR]

Hi Lubenica and welcome to our community forums

Travel is awesome isn't it? You sound like you do a lot. It's unfortunate that you're feeling down after returning from your US and NZ trip. There could be a few things happening for you. I'm not a health professional, so I can only go on my own experiences.

I know that after I travel, or have been away for awhile then return to the 'mundane'/'humdrum' of life I experience a drop in my adrenaline. While travelling, all my senses are up, excited and it's almost like a euphoria. When I stop, that euphoria drops, I come back to a reality. It could be as simple as your hormones readjusting after the flights and the excitement of all the places, people and foods.

Alternatively it could be you are thinking - what do I have to show in life? I have no partner, no kids, while silbings and friends are settled with their families, I have nothing. As you say, this was your choice. That's okay. It doesn't mean that you can't make changes if and when you want to.

So, what do you think it could be that's making you feel this way? Is it that you want to change jobs but nothing is happening? What sort of work do you do?

Kind regards

PamelaR

[Lubenica]

Hi PamelaR. Thank you for your response.

I have a very stressful job as I am a property manager and the day I got back to work my boss was on me about things I had done wrong, forgotten or just hadn’t done right by his book. He was telling me all this whilst I was tired, I caught a bug in California and was just trying to get my work done for the end of month processing the next day so that I could get it over and done with. I only flew in the day before going to work. I don’t have siblings so it’s just me and my folks.

I turned 30 yesterday and I have wanted to change jobs but nothing had happened as yet. I think it’s also the stress of my work. I just feel like I fail/failed every time I make a mistake. I feel like I am over it all. I love my house, my car, and my many travels. I have travelled to so many places in the last 13 years (I began travelling in 2005 when I was 17) that every time I get back, I get depressed but I do try to change my routine but I miss my travels.

When I am travelling, I sometimes get a feeling in my stomach for like 5 or 6 seconds and during this time, I just want to cry and then it passes.

[PamelaR]

Hi Lubenica

Good to see you responded so quickly and shared more of your story.

Life sounds extremely organised for you - home, car, travel - at the age of 30. That's really good Lubenica. So you are successful, you're no failure. Making mistakes is okay. It's normal. You're not alone, we all make mistakes in our lives, at work, at study.

I have to say you are an inspiration - to go to work the following day you return from travel and have a deadline for end of month processing. On top of that you've picked up a virus in California. Gee, you are really hard on yourself. Are you able to take a day or two off on sick leave? It might be worth it.

Have you ever spoken to your doctor about how you feel, or asked if you have depression? There are many things you can do to help move you out from that feeling.

When you feel up to it, have a look through the Depression forum there are some very good threads. One in particular is - Depression: Fight It or Embrace It?

Kind regards

PamelaR

[Ayleigh]

Hi Lubenica

I'm thinking that doing a little research into adrenal fatigue could be useful for you, together with looking at the benefits of magnesium (best used in liquid form on the skin as tablet form is less beneficial and can irritate the gut, particularly with regular or prolonged use).

Ayleigh

[Birdy77]

Hello Lubenica,

I sometimes reckon that having a big birthday (like one that ends in a zero) can trigger some really strong emotions.

I certainly felt very similarly to you when I turned 30. It felt to me a little bit like a grieving process.

I don't know what it is, but leaving your 20s, moving into the next decade of your life ... it can really play on your mind I think.

Added to that is your disenchantment with your job, and the exhaustion of having just returned from travel, plus maybe some post-travel blues ... that all adds up.

I would suggest being really gentle with yourself right now ... allow yourself to feel whatever it is that you are feeling ... allow yourself maybe to grieve the end of your 20s ... and mostly, be kind to yourself.

You're always very welcome to keep talking here.

Take care of your fragile self for now.

🌻birdy

[Lubenica]

thank you birdy. Ive had a rough trot at work. Making mistakes and my boss being on me about everything and I’m just like...UGH! I wish the ground would swallow me whole!

[Lubenica]

Hi.

I have tried to talk about it but I feel somewhat silly when I get to it because I feel like I am overreacting but then I get sad again and then happy.

I sometimes feel like I don’t deserve what I have and that I am wasting everyone’s time but then I get a nice email from an owner or a surprise like finding $$ or a really funny thing happens and changes my mood.

I will definitely read about it though.

thank you