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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with Depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with Depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the chats on this Forum having been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Anon99 Struggling to cope with Mum's depression
  • replies: 1

Hi My mum has been clinically depressed for about the last ten years, however over the last couple of years, and months especially, it has just seemed to become worse and worse. I used to be very close to my mum, but now I find it difficult to hold a... View more

Hi My mum has been clinically depressed for about the last ten years, however over the last couple of years, and months especially, it has just seemed to become worse and worse. I used to be very close to my mum, but now I find it difficult to hold a conversation with her for longer than 5 minutes without needing to walk away. She used to have so much interest in my life and what I was doing, but now it's almost as though she doesn't really care too much, and is more interested in the things I've done wrong than right. The house doesn't feel like a happy place anymore and because of that I'm working as much as I can to avoid being here and dealing with the tension. I have anxiety myself and so it's very difficult for me to be calm and happy in my own home when there are people yelling at each other and constant tension, especially when my mum doesn't really acknowledge that anxiety is a real thing, but that's another issue in itself. I would say that I am the most understanding out of the other members of the family that live at home, as I've done research and have probably spoken to my mum about what she feels more than anyone, but I'm really struggling at the moment to cope with it all. She is constantly on a short fuse and the smallest thing can lead to a massive argument. It's been a while since I've had a conversation with her and not come out of it feeling stupid and worse about myself, and I'm just not sure what to do. I don't want to upset her because I don't think she would take hearing any of this too well,but it's having a significant effect on my own mental and physical health, and it has been doing so for the last four months. She does occasionally see a psychologist and is taking medication, and I've also tried to make sure that she knows I'm available to talk anytime, but it only seems to be getting worse andI don't know what to do. Sorry if none of this makes any sense, but I would really appreciate any advice. Thanks

Rubify Recently sober alcoholic struggling with self forgiveness
  • replies: 14

Thank you for reading. I am 7 days sober and struggling mostly with guilt and self forgiveness. I have been an alcoholic for 8 years and during this time I did have sober periods but these were short lived. I am struggling to cope with the shame and ... View more

Thank you for reading. I am 7 days sober and struggling mostly with guilt and self forgiveness. I have been an alcoholic for 8 years and during this time I did have sober periods but these were short lived. I am struggling to cope with the shame and guilt I feel toward myself and my alcoholism. I have had poor judgement, made bad decisions and put myself in situations that made me extremely vulnerable because I was "blind drunk". How can I forgive myself? I fear that if I cannot find a way to forgive myself, I will drink to escape what I have done and who I have become. I would really appreciate hearing from others who have struggled with self forgiveness. I would be especially grateful if you could share with me exactly how you were able to forgive yourself and move forward with your life. Thank you again for reading.

MaryMary Single Parent struggling to cope...
  • replies: 10

I'm really struggling to keep on top of my depression lately. I'm fighting it so hard but circumstances keep overwhelming me. I'm very prone to situational depression since my 20s but I've managed to stay on top of things and nip things in the bud. I... View more

I'm really struggling to keep on top of my depression lately. I'm fighting it so hard but circumstances keep overwhelming me. I'm very prone to situational depression since my 20s but I've managed to stay on top of things and nip things in the bud. I still get bouts of it but never as bad as it was in my 20s. I pride myself in that I keep on top of things. However, my life is feeling more and more isolated and stressful lately and I can't seem to find a balance to keep that depression dog in check. I can feel it.. making my throat sore, making me cry all the time, be bad tempered and angry at life. How do I get control of this thing? I'm a single parent to three children and one of them is special needs - this child is having massive problems at school and is autistic so sometimes violent and sent home. My children are all still pretty young (all under 10) and my ex husband committed suicide 2 years ago (something I'm still dealing with and I still have some post-traumatic stress over). I only work part time. I love my job as it is something I enjoy and gives me some social interaction but other than my job I can't go out because my my special needs child who cannot cope. My mother helps as much as she can but I'm pretty isolated and I know this is one of the problems. I have no partner and my friends all work full time so I'm on my own a lot which is really bad of depression I know. I try to keep myself really busy and focus on positive things but I think the stress of my situation is getting me down. I get on top of things then it's like a balancing act because something will go wrong with my special needs child and I have all these appointments to take them to - it's so overwhelming and it's all down to me. My friends are supportive and I've told them I've been blue lately and they were concerned and said to ring them when I felt like that but I can't/don't want to bring them down and moan plus they're so busy all the time with their own lifes and work.. what to do?

cometsandchaoss depression
  • replies: 1

have you ever felt so physically dead on the inside that you convince yourself you truly did die when everything went wrong. i cant do anything without being unenthusiastic all i wanna do is sleep and cry i hate this feeling and my anxiety also gets ... View more

have you ever felt so physically dead on the inside that you convince yourself you truly did die when everything went wrong. i cant do anything without being unenthusiastic all i wanna do is sleep and cry i hate this feeling and my anxiety also gets the better of me i used to love hanging out with groups of new people and going to parties but now id rather sleep and eat .its so hard to function or be scared or feel actual emotion .this guy was head over heals with me for around two years and he could deal with me when no one could but i broke his heart over and over again and i felt no feeling towards him.my mother passed away when i was 12 i am currently 16 ,i wasn't very close with her i always felt like she planned my life to be hell , my mother had depression ,schizophrenia and bipolar disorder . she had 3 children to 3 different and only knew 1 of their names my mother was an alcoholic and a drug addict i got ripped out of her arms as soon i was born and i was put into a foster care where the lady who was my foster mother used to cry and cry because her youngest son had died and she only had him so she needed someone to fill the gap ,docs didn't think i had any family so they tried their hardest to find a relative and thats when they found my grandmother and grandfather they have raised me all my life and every family member i know has no news on my dad . my mother died from cancer and she was so loving towards me but i stood my arrogant ground i couldn't even say i love you .when she was in a coma the night before she died everyone sung the song she sang to us "you are my sunshine". everyone gave her kisses and individually wen tin their and and talked to her but i almost passed out in the bathroom i couldn't talk to her .i missed my chance that was the last time anyone ever saw her again.i felt so dark and so empty at age twelve the next day i went to school and acted normal no one asked me if i was okay and every time im now sad everyone thinks its that and i hate when people think they know how i feel but they dont .im sick of feeling like i have no one to turn to i just want to be able to accomplish my goals and get better.

Mishmish83 Feeling singled out because of my diagnosis.
  • replies: 5

My troubles all came to the surface at the end of last year. Working in a job and being treated unfairly and bullied so relentlessly that one day my mind just snapped and I had a breakdown. I had worked so hard for 10 years and felt like at the end, ... View more

My troubles all came to the surface at the end of last year. Working in a job and being treated unfairly and bullied so relentlessly that one day my mind just snapped and I had a breakdown. I had worked so hard for 10 years and felt like at the end, I got nothing out of it but misery and a diagnosis of major depression (this was not the only factor that caused my diagnosis). So I was put on antidepressants, first time for me and I gave up my job and decided to embark on a new career and at 34 that’s not easy. But I did it, I took up study and began looking for part time work....... I got an interview after applying for 61 jobs..... (no joke) I did really well and was sent last week for a medical, at the medical there was a form it asked me what drugs I’m taking? Being an honest soul I told them about the antidepressants. I was at the end of the medical taken to see the doctor, who told me I was considered unfit for duty....... I now have to get a doctors report to and I’m quote the doctor here “ say that I’m not going to go crazy wile in the job and cause a major incident”. I decided that day that I was no longer taking my antidepressants, I feel like I have been singled out because I have to take these damned things and as a man I feel weak and that I have no control in my life. Currently I’m on day 4 no meds and the side effects are killing me it feels like my brain is getting electric shocks and I can barely get up. I’m angry all the time and just sit in my room listening to music and avoiding my family. I just hope that I can get myself sorted out in time for my next job interview. Anyone else gone through something similar?

SmiSal I feel angry all the time and prefer being alone
  • replies: 4

I feel like I always want to be left alone and I feel like screaming whenever anyone wants to engage in inane chatter or small talk. In a social environment I am always aware of other people and what they are feeling and simultaneously I'm always fea... View more

I feel like I always want to be left alone and I feel like screaming whenever anyone wants to engage in inane chatter or small talk. In a social environment I am always aware of other people and what they are feeling and simultaneously I'm always fearing their judgement and hoping they haven't noticed that Ive put on weight or noticed I've said something stupid. I come across as friendly and funny and kind. I care about other people and feel best when those around me are happy and content but if theyre not, I soak up all their negativity and it drains me emotionally. When I'm alone, I'm free of all these stresses and can read books, create art, engage in a thought provoking TV series or enjoy a wonderful meal. It is peaceful and I am happy. In our society however this is considered wrong and weird. Plus I'm a Mother and help my brother, ex partner and best friend look after their children so I am constantly asked to help and very rarely alone. Today I just feel like crying and running away. Am I suffering from some type of emotional disorder?

PsychoCybernetics Goal Seeking as a Tool for Self Help
  • replies: 10

As a thought experiment let's assume that we all have a goal seeking machine at our disposal. Let's assume that our brain is fundamentally a goal seeking machine. Now Let's put that hypothesis to a test. Let's take a brand new brain, one that has not... View more

As a thought experiment let's assume that we all have a goal seeking machine at our disposal. Let's assume that our brain is fundamentally a goal seeking machine. Now Let's put that hypothesis to a test. Let's take a brand new brain, one that has not been cluttered by any information at all, good or bad, a human baby. Well, almost no bad if we ignore the first encounter with other humans is to have your bottom smacked to make you cry because they love you. After that ridiculous encounter you calm down and start looking for food. Some people have called this instinct but this is as misguided as slapping your bottom. You goal is to get something to eat and is duly provided by someone who really loves you, your mother. Next, sometime later, you find yourself laying on your back in a crib with an interesting multicoloured mobile dangling over your head. You don't know what this perverse thing is so you decide to see what it feels like. But that's not as easy as you think. Your arms wave around, your fingers grasp at the air. You have no concept of the vast multitude of muscles to achieve your goal, you need help. Over time something in your brain, by trial and error, guides your hand and fingers to what you want. You have achieved your first goal. Well, second if you don't ignore your first one. with your mother, but that usually only happens when you are a teenager. After that ordeal, you learn to use that technique to achieve goal after goal. As time passes you want more and different things. And that something inside your brain always finds a way to get it for you, using whatever means you know of, sometimes using very inventive methods you aren't really sure where they came from. Now you have grown up and had many many life experiences and have gained a vast storehouse of knowledge. It was gained in every way that it's possible to gain knowledge. Much of it you don't consciously remember and a lot that you can't put into words, like how to ride a bicycle, but it's there nevertheless. It has a name it's called tacit knowledge. It is that tacit knowledge you will draw from for your self help. You only need a goal to bring it out. It's always worked in the past. Any ideas?

NewHope First Steps
  • replies: 2

Hello, I am going to be honest, it's taking every ounce of courage I can muster to write this.. and even more probably to hit the post button. I was diagnosed with depression/anxiety in my early teens and over the course of the years I've tried to ma... View more

Hello, I am going to be honest, it's taking every ounce of courage I can muster to write this.. and even more probably to hit the post button. I was diagnosed with depression/anxiety in my early teens and over the course of the years I've tried to manage it with a combination of talking therapy with various psychologists and more recently with anti-depression medication. A few years ago I was also diagnosed with the early stages of Multiple Sclerosis. Fortunately it has not impacted on my life too much and the prognosis of it ever doing so is relatively low, especially with the recent developments in treatments. To put my situation into greater context, I am hitting my mid 30's, whilst I ma married I have not achieved certain milestones expected by this age. I am struggling with my identity - who I am versus the mask I wear to hide the depression. However, the reason I am reaching out is because I am finding my old methods of coping when I feel that "black dog" of depression beginning to get the better of me are no longer working. I know logically I am not alone, that I am allowed to feel this way and allowed to ask for help... but we all know how it can convince you otherwise. I am trying to fight back, trying to believe I am not alone. I am posting this partly to prove to myself it doesn't control or define me and partly because I hope there are other people out there who can offer some advice. I need new coping methods to fend off the dark days. Does anyone have any strategies they use that work well? I used to write or play video games but I feel so tired, blocked and disinterested that these doesn't seem to help me anymore. And Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can help my husband, who is amazingly supportive, but need advice on how he's meant to 'help me, help myself'. I feel terrible because he feels so lost when I begin to shut down. I have no suggestions on what he can do because if I knew what to do, I'd be doing it myself (I do hope that makes sense). We share our thoughts and feelings a lot but he'd like to know if there is anything else he could do to help me more forward and past the down days/cycles. Thank you to anyone who has spent the time reading this. I appreciate it more then you know.

Fallon01 Depression and CBT
  • replies: 2

Hi, I was diagnosed with depression around this time last year and spent most of 2017 in therapy. I made some great strides and found my lows became less low and I was having more highs, which I hadn't realised were missing so much from my life (I wa... View more

Hi, I was diagnosed with depression around this time last year and spent most of 2017 in therapy. I made some great strides and found my lows became less low and I was having more highs, which I hadn't realised were missing so much from my life (I was diagnosed last year but probably should have been many years before that). I had a very long run of, as I've taken to calling them, good brain days where I've been on top of things and the occasional feelings of worthlessness or despair have been easily controlled. However, the past few weeks, without anything really changing in my life, I've found myself back in the hole I had climbed out of. I am that annoyingly familiar case of someone whose life is going well but still finds themselves crippled by depression. I'm happy in my marriage and my home life. My job is boring sometimes and interesting other times like most jobs and my hobby of writing is going well. I've won some competitions and joined a writer's group who reacted really well to me and my work. I have a novel written that's currently being manuscript assessed, which is admittedly adding to my stress as I wait for the report to come back so I can edit the book and try and get it published. But that stress is a good stress in the sense that I'm moving closer to a finish line. I haven't posted on here before but I thought that it might help me to see if anyone had any coping strategies for when those dark feelings hit and it feels like a weight has fallen on them that they can't lift off. I probably need to go back to my therapist but I find that his area tends to be talking about things rather than giving me strategies and I like the talking but I don't like the feeling awful afterwards without the weapons to fight off the feeling terrible. Any help anyone can offer would be much appreciated, and just to know that there are people out there who might read this and know what its like is reassuring. When you're fighting something this big it's nice to know there are other people who might know how to find its weaknesses. Thanks, Sean.

Chicken_Wings Can you ‘miss’ being depressed?
  • replies: 12

It’s been a while since I’ve had an episode of depression. This latest one has been a doozy. Ive been seeing my psychologist about my depression and anxiety all year so far and I mentioned something to her today which I wondered “does anyone else fee... View more

It’s been a while since I’ve had an episode of depression. This latest one has been a doozy. Ive been seeing my psychologist about my depression and anxiety all year so far and I mentioned something to her today which I wondered “does anyone else feel this way?”. What I have noticed is that after I have been depressed for some time, crying constantly, being really on edge and touchy, there comes a point where I don’t feel anything. It might just be for a day. When I feel this way I almost miss being depressed, because the feeling of crying is cathartic. It’s comforting and I know it. It’s a release for what goes on in my head. But not feeling, not crying feels strange and in that moment I miss being depressed. This seems to happen every time I have an episode st some point or another. Does this happen to anyone else?