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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Maui757 Anger and depression?
  • replies: 7

Hi, So I’ve had depression and anxiety for years now. I see a Psych when I can (Work commitments make it tricky) and generally keep things under control and practice lots of healthy coping mechanisms (exercise, keeping social, relaxation techniques, ... View more

Hi, So I’ve had depression and anxiety for years now. I see a Psych when I can (Work commitments make it tricky) and generally keep things under control and practice lots of healthy coping mechanisms (exercise, keeping social, relaxation techniques, I try meditation). But recently I’ve been finding myself uncontrollably angry. It’s like the little things start nagging me and I get more and more annoyed until I snap and become a raging psychopath. When it happens, I feel nothing except anger and occasionally a hint of sadness. I feel void of all other emotion. I don’t care who I hurt, just so long as I hurt them. I know I will regret it later on, and my mind thinks ‘good. You deserve to suffer’. I plan to see my psych but I can’t get in this week. So does anyone else have problems with anger with their depression? I find once the anger wears off I become completely overwhelmed with pain and desperation, and fear that I will never get better. I’m hurting the people I love and I can’t seem to help it. I’m so desperate I feel like I’m going to crack and break down. I don’t even know what started all this but I can’t seem to get a grip :’( Maui

2518 Counselling Addict?
  • replies: 3

My psychologist cancelled my appointment, which means my next one is a whole month from now. This is the 1st time in my life seeing a psych, & I'm starting to become needy for it, which frightens me. In the past, I stuffed my pain down, which allowed... View more

My psychologist cancelled my appointment, which means my next one is a whole month from now. This is the 1st time in my life seeing a psych, & I'm starting to become needy for it, which frightens me. In the past, I stuffed my pain down, which allowed me to function like an automaton (or a walking corpse). I was stiflingly numb. But ever since revealing my pain to him, it's like I've opened a pandora's box of suffering, & I can't shut it. It feels awful to open my wounds, only to stitch it back up again after the 50 minute session is up, & having to wander around with fresh wounds for two weeks till it's time for another session. I'm halfway through the bulk billed sessions, & won't be able to afford the full price of the sessions, so I feel like I'm in a worse situation than I was before, b/c at least previously, I could (or at least I could pretend to) stuff my feelings down & remain numb & distracted to it, but ever since I started talking about it, I can't seem to shut that box anymore. It's crept to the surface of my mind & is bleeding all over my daily life. I just know I won't have scratched the surface of my past trauma by the time the 10 sessions are up. I'll just be one big fat walking wound. We're talking about a life time of misery that I have to address. Childhood physical/emotional abuse, sexual assault, job issues, toxic relationships, low self esteem etc. It's like by seeing a psychologist, I've become addicted to talking about my problems & my pain, that I'm constantly like a drug addict waiting for my next fix every fortnight. Anyone relate to these feelings?

Monty0401 Feeling Overwhelmed
  • replies: 1

I cannot shake this overwhelming feeling of being on edge all the time. It drains the little strength I have. I feel flat sad and frightened all the time. I’m tired mentally and physically, become overwhelmed with everything. Can’t wait to go to slee... View more

I cannot shake this overwhelming feeling of being on edge all the time. It drains the little strength I have. I feel flat sad and frightened all the time. I’m tired mentally and physically, become overwhelmed with everything. Can’t wait to go to sleep and feel even worse when I wake up. This has been going on for months now and I am worn out.

Hannah_S Mixed state bipolar 2?
  • replies: 3

Hi there, I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 about six years ago but it never really felt right in terms of what I experienced so I didn't take on what I felt was a label - and my psychologist agreed at the time. Many years ago I did go manic when I was ... View more

Hi there, I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 about six years ago but it never really felt right in terms of what I experienced so I didn't take on what I felt was a label - and my psychologist agreed at the time. Many years ago I did go manic when I was on medication (ironically I was scared of taking anti-depressants and they did send me over the edge). I did start taking a different medication and felt things were a lot easier. I had been stable for 10 years (including having two kids). But about a year ago I separated from my partner (of 25 years). It was my choice and was perhaps the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Straight after the separation, I felt quite liberated. I moved house, started doing lots of courses, hanging out with friends. Underneath all this was absolute exhaustion and despair at the feeling of having to be separated from my kids when co-parenting. But in March this year I stupidly took drugs - way too much of it. I pretty much never take drugs. The following week I became deeply depressed and it never seemed to wear off. But just this past week I feel like I am rapidly going from top of the world, I can do anything, to bottom, completely falling apart and crying all the time, utter despair. I have a PhD due at the end of this month and I was hoping to keep it together for the next three weeks. The weird thing is, I feel like I did when I was a teenager (I'm finding friendship difficult, feel excluded/abandoned by little things, and no longer want to go out). I don't really know where to begin. I know when I had serious depression in the past, it usually was preceded by the feeling of hitting the bottom (a breakdown/release), needing to acknowledge it. This is where I'm at, I guess.

Lila_Lostland Long way to sobriety from Antidepressants
  • replies: 6

Hi. 22 years with Antidepressants. One day I asked myself, Why I'm eating these?? End of last year I spoke with my Doctor, we cut it to half. I felt so good, I FELT,,,, I HAD FEELINGS, happy, sad, joyful, loved it. Too eagerly within a month I stoppe... View more

Hi. 22 years with Antidepressants. One day I asked myself, Why I'm eating these?? End of last year I spoke with my Doctor, we cut it to half. I felt so good, I FELT,,,, I HAD FEELINGS, happy, sad, joyful, loved it. Too eagerly within a month I stopped taking any at all.. I wanted to be rid of them altogether. Then it happened, my anger got unmanageable, took over. I felt ready to hurt somebody.. Yes, I felt like that......... It did really SCARE me, I'm not that kind of a person... Saw my Doctor again, got back to my half doze. 2 months later I cut my tablets to half. Felt more Depressed than ever, headache was unbelievable. Now I been without 4weeks, starting to feel great, my energy levels rising, (no more lying in bed all day), got energy to vacuum, to take care of my home/me, cooking again. Sewing machine is out of cupboard, I got energy for 2-3hr's a day. It's a start.. GREAT START!! . As I can feel again, I feel so strange with my head, we think differently than before. It's like having TWO heads, one of my old old busy go and do things type, and this new strange one. It got to relearn 22 years of my lost life. It feel's like at I been Zombie for last 22 years. What have I missed of life? lots and lots I think.. Now I cry a lot, feelings what I missed. Laugh a lot, laughter what i missed.... Every day feel's like at I'm a toddler, learning to walk again with a new legs. It's not legs, it's learning to think with my new brain. As I don't know, what it feel's one minute to next.. As I like to be in control, posed, ready, unexpected situations could whack me out of comfort zone. What do I do then?? As I don't have a control of my feelings, they are so new and RAW.. Thanks to reading my stuff

Sthaussiemale Living with Bipolar
  • replies: 7

Hi, I am in the middle of what someone described as a breakdown. Things have just gotten too much to handle and I’m struggling. I have seen a dr who has put me on anti-depressants and recommended a psychologist. The dr has mentioned a diagnosis of Bi... View more

Hi, I am in the middle of what someone described as a breakdown. Things have just gotten too much to handle and I’m struggling. I have seen a dr who has put me on anti-depressants and recommended a psychologist. The dr has mentioned a diagnosis of Bipolar. Just interested to hear from anyone who has been diagnosed with bipolar, how do you manage it personally and how do you cope with it? its all a bit scary to be honest. Usually I’m always on the go and doing things but since this episode I just find myself sitting there sort of like a goldfish, not being able to remember what I’m doing. I guess I’m just hoping that it does get better and I’ll be back to “normal”

Alone_Girl Does Depression cause loneliness?
  • replies: 4

I feel more alone than ever and have a loving husband and two children. I have stopped answering calls from family and feel like i cant talk to anyone and just cry all the time. I feel my depression (now diagnosed), has made me even lonelier since I ... View more

I feel more alone than ever and have a loving husband and two children. I have stopped answering calls from family and feel like i cant talk to anyone and just cry all the time. I feel my depression (now diagnosed), has made me even lonelier since I cant talk to anyone about my feelings and randomly walk around watching others that appear so happy and in groups wondering how i become that happy and connected. The only place I can express myself is online to strangers like this forum! Have I caused my own loneliness?

Rebeccaxo Why am I like this?
  • replies: 1

My bf has gone away back to Ireland for a holiday and I am left here in Australia in our little apartment by myself. I don’t have many friends here as many have moved back to Ireland, so I am feeling so alone. I have felt myself slowly sinking back i... View more

My bf has gone away back to Ireland for a holiday and I am left here in Australia in our little apartment by myself. I don’t have many friends here as many have moved back to Ireland, so I am feeling so alone. I have felt myself slowly sinking back into a dark place like I used to. I have suffered with depression before and had to be signed off work in the past as it got really bad. I have had a pretty good couple of years with only a few little episodes where it gets bad for a couple of weeks. I just feel trapped inside my own head. It’s a viscous circle where I don’t want to speak to or see anyone because I feel so down but then because I isolate myself it gets even worse. I know its starting again. I can’t sleep at nights and I’m exhausted but never want to leave my bed. I don’t want to do anything and can’t even watch TV all I am doing is thinking. I am taking my mood out on my bf, being insecure, snappy, nasty and pushing him away. I am jealous that he is enjoying himself at home with his friends and family whilst I am here by myself in this dark place. I feel so embarrassed that I am like this and I feel that I can’t talk to anyone about it not even my bf. I am paranoid too and so anxious that he won’t come home, or he will fall in love with someone else etc. God, I sound so crazy. Will I ever get better and how? I just feel like the worst type of person and I don’t deserve love or friends.

RoseJoy I need people IN PERSON.
  • replies: 2

Okay, so I've been doing pretty well this year, haven't had any serious relapses. However, I am doing the HSC this year and am falling back into my depressive episodes. Aside from that, I think I get what I'm supposed to be doing right? But whenever ... View more

Okay, so I've been doing pretty well this year, haven't had any serious relapses. However, I am doing the HSC this year and am falling back into my depressive episodes. Aside from that, I think I get what I'm supposed to be doing right? But whenever I'm on a forum here, or anywhere online for that matter, people are always wanting someone to talk to. As am I. But the problem is, for me its just so hard to really appreciate or gain anything from this when its not even in person. I really like hugs. Like really, really. I like fluffy people because I can tell they give great hugs. But no matter how little I care for societal perceptions and expectations; it just wouldn't be right if I hugged someone else's mum (especially if I don't know those people). Which was irrelevant information, sorry. But what I'm saying is, it would be so nice, if I could find people to sit with and talk with and maybe make some friends. It seems like there's not many opportunities for that anywhere around here - which sucks. And I honestly feel like I want to make a family out of people that are friends, but I don't have any friends to begin with which is difficult. And I've been putting the whole thing off because HSC and Uni apps are so much to think about...idk. I guess I just don't think that making friends with people is going to happen anytime soon.

Evie81 Do I have complex PTSD, BPD or BP? Help.
  • replies: 16

Hi guys, Just tapping into a communal knowledge base here. Thanks for reading. I am diagnosed as having Bipolar Disorder, I am on medication for this, which seems to have performed miracles for my depression. I have been hospitalised for BP several t... View more

Hi guys, Just tapping into a communal knowledge base here. Thanks for reading. I am diagnosed as having Bipolar Disorder, I am on medication for this, which seems to have performed miracles for my depression. I have been hospitalised for BP several times, for a manic episode, a mixed episode and twice for depression. A possible BPD diagnosis has never been brought up by any of the psychiatrists that I’ve seen. In fact, I’ve asked and it has been denied by 3 different professionals. However I feel that my symptoms have a lot in common with BPD, mostly the abandonment issues, and then there is the obvious overlap of mood instability with BP. I have been with my partner for nearly 7 years and also enjoyed long-term relationships before this. However my partner and I have been struggling lately due to a relocation and him starting a high pressure job with long hours. We have been on the verge of breaking up and started seeing a relationship therapist. A central theme within this therapy are my abandonment issues. I experience tremendous anxiety and/or rage when he has to go on yet another business trip, arrives home late or is not truthful about his whereabouts. I come from a family of junkies and lies about whereabouts/what they were up to/not returning home resulting in me living with family members, and 2 foster homes, were normal for me. In this context one might be able to see how this sort of trauma would affect future relationships. Our relationship therapist has floated complex PTSD on my part, this as well as several issues my husband is facing with lying and confrontation. Meaning we are on opposite ends of the spectrum as I need accountability and truth to make sure I’m ‘safe’ from past experiences. If not I can become hypervigilant, anxious and erratic. He says he lies because a confrontation can result in strong emotions on my part and round and round in circles we go. From my understanding complex PTSD is often interchangeable with BPD with the main difference being the abandonment issues. Obviously not negating the overlap with BP as well and one can see a red herring emerging. My psychiatrist denies both the complex PTSD and the BPD and says everyone, including him, has abandonment issues. My reactions are perfectly in line with what to expect when a partner lies and walks out to avoid confrontation according to him. Should I ask for a second opinion? What do you think?