sharing is caring

[human12]

Hi, I am new here. I hope you are doing fine and staying safe. I am 23 having an exam in 2 months and didn't study because I can't focus and I don't feel I want to. I am here just because I want to talk and share, as this is something I only do with my therapist once every 2 months "Being me". I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. doing therapy and medications. but nothing really helps.

I have been searching for meaning for the life for about a year and a half now, but still didn't find it. Whenever we have a cloudy day in Melbourne, I feel more down. I relate myself to the environment, plants, air, sun, sounds, anything natural, and normal because this is what I want to be normal. I hold myself each day and tell her it's going to pass, you will reach. I just feel so guilty I don't study but I can't, I really can't. I don't know if this is a disease, or this is how we are born.

I just feel better in writing this, I cried which is a thing I can't do.

I don't see the point in living and feeling this pain every day every day, and for what? what do you carry this pain for? What is the thing at the end of the road we have to keep living for? Why do we even exist on this planet if we all gonna die one day?

I hope whoever reads this you get what you want one day, stay safe, stay alive.

[Sophie_M]

Hi human12,

Welcome to our valued community forums. We're sorry to hear that you've not found something that helps your depression and anxiety. It can be really tough to find motivation to study, you're not alone in this. We hope that you can be gentle with yourself on this.

It's good to hear that you're seeing a therapist regularly. If you feel it may be helpful, you are also welcome to get in touch with Kids Help Line. They are a confidential and anonymous, telephone and online counselling service specifically for young people aged 25 and under. This might help when you need to chat between sessions.

You might be interested in one of our threads, 'Tell us your thoughts - What's kept or keeping you here?' - https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/suicidal-thoughts-and-self-harm/tell-us-your-thoughts---what-39-s-kept-or-keeping-you-here-/page/8

It might be useful to read this thread and see the purpose or motivation that others who have struggled with these thoughts find in their lives.

We're glad to hear that you felt better writing this, and that it offered you a kind of release. Thanks again for reaching out here.

[BipolarBro]

I hope you’re okay, I’m 23 as well and relate with everything you say. I dropped out and enrolled multiple times because of anxiety and agitation making it impossible to study at all.