Selfworth

[AmeliaParis]

Hi,

I guess this is a bit of a question, or just a thought. How do you make yourself feel worthy? Of anything and everything?

Doesn't matter how much better I think I feel, I can get dropped down from my pedestal of happiness pretty easily and my thoughts seem to always attack me with 'of course' like whatever it is was to be expected, because I don't matter anyways. And I go down this spiral of 'I m nobody', 'I can't do anything right' ... And I still can't snap out of it ..

What I find worse is that I don't wish to talk about my feelings woth my friends anymore. I feel like I'm a burden if I talk about it and I feel like they shouldn't have to deal with it. I also don't want anybody to talk behind my back about me (not that they do, it's just whst I'm afraid of happening), even worringly ...

Did anything ever help you?

[geoff]

Hello AmeliaParis, when we're trying to climb that wall once again after being trapped in a black hole for a long period, we can get knocked off it many times while trying to reach the top, where we hope we have eliminated most of our problems, but we keep trying to regain our self worth and respect.

Sometimes we're too scared to talk to anybody in fear they will make us fall back down to the bottom, so we endeavour to gain the strength that's needed to do it ourselves.

So we reach the top but stay away from 'friends' who make unkind remarks and aren't lured into their comments, but we do need someone trained to help and encourage us to believe we are worthy to convince us that we do have genuine thoughtsand provide examples to prove this.

This is he achievement we have long waited for.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[Sophie_M]

Dear AmeliaParis,
 
Welcome to the Beyond Blue forums we are so glad that you have made you way here and had the bravery to post. We want you to know that this is a safe space to discuss your thoughts, feelings and experiences and receive honest responses and suggestions from fellow forum users.
 
We hope that you do not feel a burden sharing with the community, we are all here to listen and hope that you continue to engage and post on the forums for as long as you wish to. Please be reassured that in this community every voice is heard and valued, without judgement for their personal experiences and interpretations.
 
Please note, it’s worth remembering that immediate support is not available via the forums. Some days are slower than others, and some topics hit home with people more than others. The number of replies received will always vary from day to day.
 
If you need more immediate contact, please use our support service either via phone 1300 22 4636 or web chat: http://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/get-immediate-support
 
You are more likely to receive replies if you get involved with the community, respond and talk to members on existing threads, in addition to starting a thread of your own. Below are some threads that you may find helpful or point you in the right direction within the forums.
 
Saying no to unhelpful thoughts - https://www.beyondblue.org.au/connect-with-others/online-forums/staying-well/saying-no-to-the-unhelp...  
 
Be kind to yourself - https://www.beyondblue.org.au/connect-with-others/online-forums/staying-well/be-kind-to-yourself  
 
How do you make yourself do the things that make you feel better? - https://www.beyondblue.org.au/connect-with-others/online-forums/staying-well/adherence-compliance---...  
 
And the following sections of our website:
 
Recovery and support strategies - https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/suicide/recovery-and-support-strategies  
 
Stories of recovery and hope - https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/suicide/stories-of-recovery-and-hope
 
We hope that these suggestions help, while you’re waiting for other members of this supportive and welcoming community to engage. We hope that you find the inspiration and guidance you are seeking here, as our community have a wealth of experience they are willing to share.
 
Warm Regards
Sophie M

[therising]

Hi AmeliaParis

To be a self questioner among people who don't question in the same ways can be so incredibly challenging. Having dealt with remarks along the lines of 'Stop overthinking everything', 'You're way too sensitive', 'You need to just get on with life' and so on, has left me on many occasions wondering what's wrong with me as well as why there are never any answers. At some point I began to come across people who not only gave me answers to many of my questions but they actually encouraged self questioning, they encouraged an incredibly liberating sense of wonder. Eventually I came to understand that those who are so full of wonder, in search of answers, are technically wonder full or wonder filled people. To know you are undeniably wonderful is a beautiful thing. What happens when a wonderful/wonder filled person comes across those who rarely wonder to such an inspiring degree? They can come to feel like a burden. Imagine throwing a bunch of philosophers into a room together and then triggering them all with the question 'What is self worth?'. You could return in an hour and they may still be discussing it. You, AmeliaParis, may not simply be wonderful, you may also be a lone philosopher in search of like minded people and not know it. You are extremely valuable. The world needs wonderful people, it needs philosophers. Without such people, little would change. Such people encourage both great insight and evolution.

As far as sensitivity goes, I'm a gal whose mantra is 'The more sensitive the better'. Throughout all my years in depression I believed sensitivity was a curse. I dialed a lot of my sensitivity down thorough drinking. Nothing quite like drinking to numb things. These days, drinking gets in the way of how or what I'm feeling. I do believe we're designed to feel. Kinda like we're given the ability to 'feel our way through life'. Would I be right in assuming you can easily feel depressing comments? Do you feel that 'heart sinking' feeling in your chest at times, that can be triggered by certain comments? It's a horrible feeling for sure but one that tells us we're standing or sitting opposite a somewhat insensitive person. Being insensitive, they don't have the ability to sense or feel words the same way in which we do, which can go toward explaining why they're not all that careful with their words. Some don't even feel 'the need to be careful'. They'll simply tell you it's you that has the problem. Pretty arrogant don't you think 🙂