Self medicating - help please

[Guest_3712]

Hi Guys

I have spent a lot of time on line the last couple of days as I am having a bad time. it is raining and I always find the rain makes me worse. I have been reading lots of your posts and have responded to some when I think I have something to offer. I was disappointed in the outcome of my appointment last Thursday, not to mention embarrassed and all my grand 'plans' seem unattainable- again!

.The truth is I need some help. I need to know is there anyone out there that shares my problem. I continue to self medicate despite being admitted to hospital several times for detox, and then finally getting off my opiates after an infusion in August.I know the dangers, I know I am not fooling myself with my reasons, most of which I don't get anyway.

  I told my psych I wanted to get off and although he knows everything about me he still says my drug use isn't the main problem , my depression is. He says the dosage of my meds isn't too high and he would rather I stay on AD and I can ween off my anxiety meds if I want.The thing is I don't know if I really want to . I say I do but I'm pretty quick to reach for a pill if I'm in pain, feeling down or as is today it is raining! What the ???

  I can't help feeling that the meds give me some level of control. I feel less anxious and usually very calm and out of it. I know I will never get my life back on track until I can give up these drugs but I am really struggling. I keep as busy as I can doing various things, but I know I am again addicted and I am really scared I will have to go back into hospital. 

 My husband would be devastated if this happened. I am only slowly regaining his trust after the last admission.    Is there anyone going through this? Please let me know

Stressless

[Neil_1]

Hello Jess, Gibby and Stressless,

(And to Gibby, welcome, I have only just come across your name for the first time 🙂

Ok ok, I will post, but it's on my computer at work, so I'll fetch it as soon as I get to work tomorrow and will post.  I'm warning you all though ... yes, it's another long one.  I think I address that in the post too ... why oh why, do I post long ones?  And I answer it too.

But I have been thinking of another one ... and I'll do that one now.  So freshen up your tea and have biscuit in hand at the ready.  🙂

And thank you ... it really means so much to know that there are people out there who care.

Neil

ps:  Stressless, and I'm sorry I resorted to this as my ps, but I am so glad that you've written that you feel better.  I hope you're not just saying that to make me happier!  😉 

[Jo3]

Neil,

You make me laugh so much even when I am so down I have a smile.  

I always love reading your posts.  You are such a caring person

Jo

[Jo3]

Hi Stressless,

I am glad to read that you are feeling a little better,  pls take care.

I am a bit lost for words tonight and don't know what to write, but I am thinking of you.

Chat again soon

Jo