Self destruction or self sabotage

[Eventually]

For as long as I can remember I self sabotage myself whenever I begin to be happy.
I have just resigned from a job I love with amazing people going back to a job full of stress and mind games

i Fail at every friendship I try to make I don’t know what I am doing wrong.

Feeling soo lonely and disconnected from the world.

don’t know what to do anymore.

my daughter is such a strong independent world who I am soo proud of but how can I be a positive influence when I am failing at every part of life

not sure what point when feeling like this anymore

[Sophie_M]

Hi Eventually,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for sharing your story with us here.

We are sorry to hear that things have been so difficult lately and that you are feeling so lonely and disconnected from the world. We understand this must be so hard for you, especially when you feel that you are failing and are not quite sure what to do anymore. Please know that you never have to go through this alone, and support is always here for you.

If you would like to talk to someone, the Beyond Blue Support Service is available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport  One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals. Or our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).

We hope that you will find some comfort here on the forums. Please feel free to keep reaching out here on your thread whenever you feel up to it.

[geoff]

Hello Eventually, and welcome to the forums.

You can't think that you may be a bad influence on your daughter, not only is she independent but what you are able to achieve she could have no interest in doing herself and you can't believe you are failing just because she has no aim to follow you in this path, so to compare yourself against her isn't feasible.

Self destruction implies negative thoughts and a lack of confidence in what you are able to do and even if you are capable of achieving something, you compare it to what other people are able to do, and what has been accomplished may be totally different.

If you have raised your daughter up to be a success then it's because of you.

Take care.

Geoff.

[Stui]

Hi Eventually,

Sophie_M makes some valid points, I would like to say welcome as everyone would. It is possible that maybe the people you are trying to make friends with may not be the right people for you to have as friends and that's why your not working with them, try to find commonalities then decide if you want them as friends or even stop looking, like many things when you are not looking for something it drops in your lap.

[Baljit]

Hi Eventually,

Welcome to the forum and sharing your feelings.

Negative thoughts can and are extremely challenging as it leads to a total feeling of self worthlessness.

The key message and advice from me is that firstly you are worthy and you deserve to be happy and successful.

Therefore, it’s important that you focus on your self first in managing your anxiety.

It would be good to understand if you have had any form of counselling, as your Counsellor will be able to teach you some techniques in helping you to manage your anxiety/future life decisions.

Focus and build up your self belief and confidence, and this will allow you to continue to be a great influencer for your daughter.

All the best.

Baljit