Seeking advice

[Alex_h]

Hi everyone, I’m 23 year old male and I think I’m going through depression and am seeking advice.

About 11 months ago I was taking a hair loss drug. I reacted pretty badly to the drug and it has completely messed up my hormones and endocrine system. I have been really sick for the last 11 months as a result. I am working with an endocrinologist who has managed to restore my testosterone levels, and do feel physically better now. But the ordeal has left me scarred and has had a huge impact on my life.

Before this ordeal, I was energetic and motivated, I was really into health and fitness, loved camping, snowboarding, 4wding. However, now I have lost all aspiration, am hopeless and do not find enjoyment in the things I once did. All I want to do is spend all day in bed under the covers and eat junk food - a full 180 to how I once was.

I recently moved to a different city, so have very little friends and family here. I thought I would get better once my hormones were fixed, but I still have no interest in socialising and meeting people.

I work a stressful and high demand job. I love what I do and love the people there, however waking up every morning to go to work is a struggle at the moment and I am contemplating quitting. I want to work, but the day by day is just a struggle at the moment.

I have not told anyone, not even family about what I’m going through. I don’t want my parents to worry.

How do I get my life back on track. I am considering antidepressants at this point to help get me on the road to recovery so I can rebuild my life.

Current symptoms include:

- Fatigue and tiredness

- oversleeping

- overeating and weight gain

- brainfog

- sad mood

- hopelessness

- isolating from friends and family

- low libido

really appreciate any advice anyone can give, thank you

[White_Rose]

Dear Alex

Hello and welcome to the forum. Thank you for telling us your story.

I am sorry to hear about your difficulties. While your endocrinologist has helped you to restore your hormonal system I wonder if it will take a little more time for everything to slot back together in a more complete way. For example, I recently had the 'flu and we all know how that makes us feel. Once the 'flu has gone we are often left feeling tired etc which does apply to me. "I've got over the 'flu, why do I feel so tired and irritable?"

Maybe this is part of your problem. It would be an idea to get this checked out. Sometimes we need a little extra help so maybe a trip to your GP and a discussion about checking on the balance of all your vitamins and hormones etc. They may be out of kilter a little and be the cause of your current fatigue not to mention your general loss of energy.

Your symptoms could point to depression but again you need to have a chat to your GP or possibly the endocrinologist if you are still in the same city. It is very disappointing to know how well you used to feel and to compare it with your present life. Some years ago I had a post viral fatigue which kept me away from work for several months. When I returned to work I felt exhausted and I only went for a couple of mornings a week to start with. I could not believe how much it had affected me. It took quite a while to regain my former fitness and stop feeling so useless.

I hope this is helpful to you. Please write in again.

Mary

[Alex_h]

Thanks Mary. Reading your story has made me feel better about my circumstances. It has been a really hard year.

I still have aspirations and dreams, it’s so shattering to not have the energy to pursue them. A day of work leaves me exhausted.

Do you think I should be open with my family? I know they’ll be nothing but supportive, but I don’t want them to worry

Im trying to start exercising again, weight lifting leaves me really fatigued, I am finding I feel good after running however. Baby steps

Thanks

[White_Rose]

Hello Alex

Thanks for your reply. I am pleased I was able to help a little.

Another story about me, hope it's OK. I have a medical condition which is closely monitored with monthly blood tests and treatment. For the past four months the tests have shown I am down on various elements. First it was vitamin D, then calcium followed by potassium and finally B12. All good stuff. So I need to take tablets to correct this. Last week when I went to see the doctor I was so pleased to find all was well with the tests. Hurrah!

Having got the balances right I am starting to feel less tired etc. Well at least until I got the 'flu but I am now over that. It has been frustrating to have so little energy and to look round my home and see how untidy it is. A big change from my usual tidiness. It's also a bit scary to see how quickly our lives can change.

I imagine you are fairly impatient to get back to the person you were before all this trouble started. I think you will get there but it will be a bit of a journey. You have said it correctly, baby steps. You use your energy with fretting about what's wrong with you. You will not change overnight so can you remind yourself of this periodically? Use your energy in the most constructive way you can. Worry is not good for you though I know it's not easy to stop doing this.

Ironically it may help you if you start exercising. No, I have not lost the plot. Exercise can make you feel tired but in a different way. Exercise also helps with depression by releasing hormones into the body and can make you feel less tired in that exhausted fashion you experience at the end of the working day. No need for the gym unless this is what you want. A brisk walk will be as effective.

I hesitate to give advice about telling your family. It is a very personal thing. However I do suggest you make a pros and cons list about talking to your family. Start with statements like, "I will get support" or"Perhaps the family will be so anxious they become overwhelming". Also think about what you would like them to do if you decide to confide in them.

Beyondblue has lots of information about depression and anxiety which you can find under The Facts tab at the top of the page. You can download the fact sheets but must ask for booklets to be sent. No charge. There is a booklet for family and friends. Give this to the family is you decide to chat and also make the fact sheets available to them.

I hope you let us know how you are going.

Mary

[Alex_h]

Hi Mary,

Thank you for sharing, your posts are really helpful, thank you for taking the time to share your story.

You have made me more open to consider alternate factors. I have recently been diagnosed with coeliac disease, which is known to cause issues with vitamin and mineral absorption. I have always put my fatigue down to my hormonal issues, but some other imbalance may be the culprit. I now plan to visit a dietitian and get my blood tested after hearing your story, thank you.

Its depressing because I use to love the gym, health and fitness, I would be that guy in the gym 6 times a week. At the moment weight lifting leaves me so fatigued, but I do find I feel good after a light run. I’m coming to accept that it’s just going to take time to regain my health and fitness. Baby steps.

As you highlight, I think the biggest issue for me at the moment is the anxiety and stress over my health. This illness is on my mind 24/7 and is literally consuming me. I find myself spending an absurd amount of time researching what could be wrong with me and how to fix it. As you say, this worrying and anxiety is likely part of the culprit in draining my energy. I will try to stop this obsessiveness moving forward.

My plan moving forward:

1. No more obsessive thinking. No more researching, focus on happy thoughts.

2. Diet. No more gluten. Healthy foods.

3. Exercise. Do what feels good and don’t push / force myself to hard.

4. Reduce stress and meditate.

5. Address any mineral / vitamin imbalances.

Most importantly is I need to not be impatient and give the healing process time.

Thanks for giving me the motivation to move forward Mary. I hope you’re doing well & all the best returning your health.

[_bethy94]

Hi Alex.h,

Sorry to hear of your current troubles. Depression is mainly a chemical imbalance in the brain, so as Mary suggested, it could be that you're lacking in certain vitamins or minerals which could be impacting on your general drive and motivation. Alongside general blood testing done to check all of your vitamin/mineral levels, consider getting a thyroid test done with your doctor too, as a thyroid not at neutral levels can impact on general moods and also alter your sleeping patterns. It's responsible for the regulation of your hormones. So it could very well be something physiological stemming from your endocrine system impacting on your brain chemistry. (Thyroid is part of the endocrine system so your endocrinologist will be extremely well versed there).

Hope you have some better days very soon. Get to the doctor for a physical exam!

All my best wishes

[White_Rose]

Hello Alex

Thank you for your lovely reply. Much appreciated.

Well you are having a rough time. Coeliac disease is a nuisance because you must avoid gluten. The good bit is having gluten free products easily available these days.

I love your list, it's so positive. I have asked Dr Google about medical conditions in the past. Either the answers frighten the living daylights out of me or I cannot find any information. As Bethy has suggested, drop in to see your GP and ask about diet etc. If you are still seeing your endocrinologist you can ask about a thyroid test but your GP can do this as well. Much better to get answers about you rather than vague, broad explanations which can be applied to many people.

Patience is probably the hardest to manage. We just want the horrible bits to go away, preferably without doing anything. I asked my GP to use her magic wand but she said the batteries were flat. Sigh.

I have found it useful to have a list of alternative things to do when I crave food or get into a self-pitying mood. This list is on my fridge door. I still need to make the effort to read it and choose something, then actually do it. However it does work quite well. List the activities you enjoy and are easy to start when you feel miserable. Reading and TV do not work I found. Cannot concentrate on a book and TV still allows me to think of something else. Physical activities are best. Weeding the garden is great as you are out in the garden which is always a bonus.

I look forward to the next episode of your journey.

Mary

[Alex_h]

Hey Mary and everyone else. I wanted to write back and say thank you for your support - when I reached out here it was one of my darkest days, so thank you.
I wanted to share that I am doing significantly better! I unfortunately had to leave my job and move interstate back to my home town and back in with my parents, but it was deffinetly the right move. Family, friends, good summer weather has helped a lot.

I’m now off all medications and my hormones have normalised. I’m doing much better mentally, am eating healthy, have started socialising again and have even started some light exercise again! I’m sure it’s only up from here.

I deffinetly still have signs of depression, anxiety and have been traumatised from this ordeal, so I plan to see a psychologist in February to work things through.

I still find myself constantly googling and researching my condition or potential conditions,trying to find the fix or cure. I’m going to ask my psychologist to treat me as a hypochondriac.

Next step will be to find a hobby while I take time off from work.

thanks for your help and I hope everyone is doing well...

Alex

[White_Rose]

Hello Alex

How lovely to hear from you again. I am so pleased for you that your journey has moved forward so significantly. Great stuff and many congratulations.

Thank you for asking about me. I am as well as I can be but unfortunately the treatment I was receiving has lost its effectiveness and I am now on a new regime. However I am still going out and still go to my volunteer jobs, church, meditation group and of course I love spending time with my family, especially the grandchildren.

I know it takes a huge effort to keep on "the straight and narrow" but boy oh boy you certainly reap the benefits as you are doing now. How is your list going? Have you added any components? I see you were going to try meditation. How is that going? I find it so good for me.

Cheers

Mary