Seeking Advice/Help

[Steve_San]

Hi All

I am seeking advice to deal with depression from this thread.

The story goes I am currently seeing this girl for over two months now, I think she likes me but when I trying to ask about her feelings, the answer was uncertain. Only until very recently I found that she has been depressed for a while, I don't think it a major depression, but she doesn't feel attracted to anyone at moment and she wasn't at her best/her prefer states. Of course, I want to continue seeing her, even though we rarely have physical contact (I mean holding hands). I also want to help her get out of depression regardless of the outcome whether we will continue dating or not.

Because I have little or no experience in dealing with depression in my life, I am here seeking valuable advice from the community. What should I do in this situation? She refused to go out (I mean like meeting other people), she told me she is having difficult thoughts like low self-esteem, stressed, and life in general.

Please, if you have experience in how to help a depressed person or you been through the same state, leave your advice/recommendation.

Thank you

Steve

[Doolhof]

Hi Steve,

Welcome to the community here. It is admirable that you desire to help this girl. The Beyond Blue website has information on how we can assist people experiencing depression, reading that and other information you can find will provide you with a greater understanding of depression.

I have experienced depression for decades in various levels. There are moments when it is horrendous then times when I forget I even have a diagnosis of depression. It can sneak up on a person seemingly for no reason and the person may feel like they have little control over their thoughts and emotions.

My suggestion would be to accept there may be a total cure, or a reduction in depressive symptoms or life may continue to be a bit of a roller coaster ride.

Depression does not mean that the person experiencing it is defective in any way, it is an illness that may require treatment, care and understanding.

Feeling depressed can strip away any thought of an activity or event being pleasurable. Instead it can feel extremely daunting and almost horrifying. If she finds going out in a large group confronting, maybe suggest a smaller gathering or just the two of you.

For myself I have found what works one day might not work the next day!

Hope some of this helps.

Cheers from Dools