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Struggling

Kamilley
Community Member
‎18-11-2019 12:51 AM

I’m new and haven’t really spoken to anyone about my anxiety/depression. I was diagnosed with PTSD/PND when my first child was born 9 years ago and after a short period on medication I came off it and tried to manage on my own. 9 years and 3 kids later and I am a total wreck.

I’m an overthinker, have regular panic attacks that come out of the blue and alternate between angry/overly happy and super down very quickly.
My kids deserve a happy, fun mum who takes them out places rather than a mum who panics if our routine isn’t followed or we are out the house too long.
I have periods of time where I am totally numb to everything, like I have passed the panic stage and have just given up on everything. Social interaction at the moment is just in the too hard basket and I don’t have the energy to think about getting help. I would be happy just to crawl into a hole and not come out.

and that’s me. I feel a bit better writing it as I don’t have anyone in my life that cares. Thanks for reading 🙂

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romantic_thi3f
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
‎18-11-2019 11:43 AM

Hi Kamilley,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for being here. I'm really glad you were able to open up and that it helped to write things out. I can guarantee you that you have found yourself in a community that does care.

I can see that things are really hard for you but also that you don't have the energy to get some help - what do you think would be the most useful for you being here? That way instead of giving you a nudge to get some help we can try and support you in whatever way is best.

I will let you know though that there is no kid in the world that I can think of who always gets a happy and fun mum - it just doesn't exist. PND and PTSD aside, you are human, and humans aren't always happy and fun! 🙂 Your kids deserve a mum that cares - and I can tell that you do that in spades. I'm sharing this with you because even if you want to crawl into a hole, know that none of this is ever your fault.

I also want to recommend PANDA - they support mums with PND and have lots of great resources. Even if you decide not to get help right now, it might help just to look over the site anyway http://panda.org.au/

RT

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