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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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grenadejumper Help
  • replies: 3

Hi, I’m S. In 2018 I got diagnosed with depression after walking out of class crying and asking my dad to pick me up, he suggested that we go to the medical centre, he didn’t know what was wrong. I privately asked for a depression test and I got diag... View more

Hi, I’m S. In 2018 I got diagnosed with depression after walking out of class crying and asking my dad to pick me up, he suggested that we go to the medical centre, he didn’t know what was wrong. I privately asked for a depression test and I got diagnosed. After getting diagnosed I got put on medication and I continued to get prescriptions till the end of 2018/early 2019 when I suddenly decided to stop taking it because it wasn’t working for me, it didn’t make me feel any better and I felt like less of a person. I went to one session with a therapist and another with a psychologist but I felt too embarrassed to go back because my mum was with me both times and I was so ashamed. Near the end of 2019 (November maybe?) I woke up one day feeling little to no emotion and it was a shock. Up until that point all I felt was this heavy weight on my chest like my body was logged with water and there was only underlying sadness but I woke up empty. I’ve been like that ever since, I can barely feel emotions and it’s like they’re behind this wall. Sometimes I feel a flash of anger and then it’s gone in the next second because I realise it’s pointless to get angry, I still feel the constant sad and dull feeling but it’s more in the background and I mostly feel empty. I think I suffer from emotional detachment. In the past few days I’ve been getting worse, I thought I’d been coping well but it’s like this wave of depression has knocked me off my feet. I know that I need medication (probably a different kind), I know that I need a therapist or psychologist but I’m too ashamed to ask my mum. All these problems that I have and all that’s stopping me is disappointing my mum because I’m too embarrassed of my own depression even though it runs heavily in her side of the family. Everyone around me acts like I’m fine but I’m not, there’s always this inner turmoil happening and I can smile and laugh but it doesn’t feel real. I can feel the humour in the joke and think it’s funny and get it but I don’t feel happiness when I laugh. I feel comfort with my friends but not happiness. I feel like my parents forgot that I have depression and that they think it’s probably “gone away” in some sense but it hasn’t. I don’t know what to do but I know that I need help. What do I do?

SBBZ I'm such a failure
  • replies: 10

First time posting here. English is not my native language, so hopefully what I'm about to say makes sense. I have been in Australia for over 10 years, going to uni first and then settled down to work. Met my lovely wife at uni and got married 5 year... View more

First time posting here. English is not my native language, so hopefully what I'm about to say makes sense. I have been in Australia for over 10 years, going to uni first and then settled down to work. Met my lovely wife at uni and got married 5 years ago. I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression when I was 12, and experienced many ups and downs but never really been properly treated until moving to Australia. Uni was relatively smooth sailing apart from one depressive episode that I came out of after a few months, without treatment. Working life is a lot more bumpy, with increasingly frequent episodes. Almost every time, my depression was triggered by work, usually by a new job. Then I had to quit the job because I just couldn't handle the debilitating and paralysing feeling it brought. The depression goes away after a few months, with the help of antidepressants and talk therapy. After 3-4 episodes during my not-so-long professional life, it was triggered again a few months ago by a new job. I just couldn't accept the fact that it's back again and again like groundhog day. I feel so hopeless that I ended up in hospital for 2 weeks. The hospital environment was not very ideal and I was discharged because I was deemed stable. Quite a relief for me because I felt extremely uncomfortable in the ward and I couldn't manage to sleep much at night. I started to feel better after the discharge and went back to the job part time, only to realise that I just can't handle it, even though the team was very supportive and flexible to accommodate me. The nature of the job just made me anxious and unable to focus, think clearly and feeling nauseous the whole time. I resigned AGAIN. I'm such a failure! My career hasn't progressed much over the years, and now I end up with yet another gap to explain to future employer. I just can't do this any more! I even contemplate changing career, but wouldn't that be another escape? Plus, with my current state of mind, I can't think of anything I'd like to do anyway... I have a supportive partner, a good GP and psychologist. I know I tick all the boxes for depression and anxiety, but I sometimes think I'm just using them as an excuse to by lazy. Sorry for the rambling. Already reaching the limit but I have a few more paragraphs to add ...

kelpie5 Help with bad dreams
  • replies: 3

Hi all, I'm currently in lockdown in Vic. I've lived with depression (and anxiety when things get bad) most of my life. It's been a tough year and I've had some really really low points, but I think I'm doing ok, considering. I meditate, try to move ... View more

Hi all, I'm currently in lockdown in Vic. I've lived with depression (and anxiety when things get bad) most of my life. It's been a tough year and I've had some really really low points, but I think I'm doing ok, considering. I meditate, try to move and try to make sure I reach out to people (I live alone). Even on 'good' days though, my dreams are terrible. I've always tended to bad dreams (it's often a first sign of depression getting bad). I started keeping a dream journal just to figure out why I wake up feeling awful and I've realised this is happening every night right now. It's really wearing me down. I get to sleep ok, and I wind down before bed. But every morning I wake up with a brain full of stress, from fighting, screaming, being lost, being chased - you name it. No matter how ok my day has been or if I've managed to walk, and meditate and do the right things it all comes out at night (and usually early morning just before I wake up). It's making it impossible to get going in the morning - I lie there trying to calm down, to process and remember the grief/fear/etc was in a dream. I lie there and name everything in my room to try to ground. It's just hard enough to get through the day and I feel like I'm starting so far behind. It doesn't seem to matter - I have a day of exercise, meditate, eat well - bad dreams. I have chips and wine for dinner and binge netflix curled under my doona - bad dreams. My subconscious is not giving me a break and it's hurting. Just reaching out to see if anyone has any insight or advice to help get through this, because it's really getting to me. Thanks for being there and my care and support to everyone out there, Tired in Melbs.

cynaax I can't help but feel empty
  • replies: 3

Hi all, this is my first post here so sorry if it's a lot Over this year I have been battling with severe anxiety, from around March. when it first started, I would get the occasional panic attack, which started with everything feeling like it was sl... View more

Hi all, this is my first post here so sorry if it's a lot Over this year I have been battling with severe anxiety, from around March. when it first started, I would get the occasional panic attack, which started with everything feeling like it was slowing down, a tightening in my chest, then my heart quickly racing and I would run down the stairs thinking I was going to die, and that I could no longer control my body and such. Last month it reached it's worse, I had gone on a long string of feeling normal again, if not happier than I was, since I thought I beat my anxiety or something similar to that. However then I started getting numerous panic attacks one night, I couldn't sleep and my anxiety was at it's worst it has ever been, I ended up not sleeping properly for a week, not moving much and constantly slipping into a panic attack whenever I had to get up. That's when I realized that what I was doing to suppress my anxiety was no longer working, and that I had to change my approach otherwise I would constantly feel like this. Due to that, I have changed a lot over the past month, I decided to seek help through my parents/grandparents, I started seeing a doctor regarding my anxiety, and am seeing the same doc each week to check up on me to see how I'm going. I have been diagnosed with GAD, and I've been referred to headspace to start seeing a therapist. I'm a little worried, but I know it'll work out in the end. However until recently, I've started to feel like everything is a constant lucid dream, and that nothing is real and I'm only floating through life. Due to that, it feels like I'm numb to emotions, when looking at myself it feel like I'm staring in a void. When I spoke to the doctor about it, he said it's called depersonalization and that many people with anxiety feel that way from time to time. Which has made feel a bit better about it, knowing that I can relate to people, however I feel like I constantly feel that way, even though my anxiety isn't bad at that point in time. I feel empty, it feels like I'm starting to lose it mentally, I'm thankful to myself for my improvement, however I just don't feel happy anymore and I feel like it's only getting worse to the point where I won't ever feel normal again. I like talking like this, but lately whenever I talk about things like my anxiety, or how I'm feeling, I can't help but feel guilty and sad about it. Thank you and hope you are all doing well! -Anthony

SashaS Numb new expecting mum
  • replies: 1

I’m in mid 20s and pregnant with my 1st child. I moved here a year ago alone with no fam/friends here. I am numb or not myself. I just seem to block everything or I just switch off the emotions like a weird ‘no feeling’ autopilot I now live in, witho... View more

I’m in mid 20s and pregnant with my 1st child. I moved here a year ago alone with no fam/friends here. I am numb or not myself. I just seem to block everything or I just switch off the emotions like a weird ‘no feeling’ autopilot I now live in, without even trying. This baby was unplanned. I was not sad at first but now I constantly feel the pressure of not being ready and that I am going through this on my own. I don’t live with my partner and to be honest I am not sure we will stay together. He hasn’t done anything wrong I am now no longer intimate and have lost my feeling of connection and love. He is mostly supportive. He can say things lately with good intentions but I take it as I am not good enough and I know he doesn’t understand unintentionally he has added to my own feeling of worthlessness. I wish he could understand my feelings. I used to be able to manage stress, I now no longer seem to be coping and I don’t even really care that I’m not, I have accepted I am in a bad place. I cry and worry a lot about not being ready/prepared to be a mum. At one point I was ready to give baby up because of how useless I feel. I couldn’t. I feel like a terrible person for considering it but going through this on my own is scary for me. Im in my 2nd trimester. I have a lot of anxiety and am socially withdrawn now. I clean a lot now I think to avoid myself but I don’t know. I have thoughts of just disappearing and wishing I wasn’t in this situation or any, I would just like to not exist as it is exhausting. Everything I do now feels like an exhausting battle and Im too tired to fight. My usual positive outlook is gone. I normally do not dwell and I dislike self pity and I can not bring myself to call a councillor because I have a lot of social anxiety about talking to strangers. I feel worthless and almost no emotions about being pregnant. I feel crazy or like a robot. I have not felt happy about anything for weeks now just coasting life like I am not even me anymore. I wake up throughout the night and I am constantly hearing noises that feel real but looking out my window nothing’s there or no one else hears them. I use to feel full of life and the world was my oyster, now I don’t feel much at all. I think I needed to let this out and I wish reading it over I felt something, but I don’t. I don’t know what is next for me. I won’t seek help, I can not do it. I am not worried about myself. Just want some peace.

Jay bird What’s wrong with me?
  • replies: 2

Iam 43. A professional. I have a family. i have had periods of depression and anxiety in my past- have always overcome it...but lately I have been waking up feeling this overwhelming sadness. No other way to describe it. Not about anything in particu... View more

Iam 43. A professional. I have a family. i have had periods of depression and anxiety in my past- have always overcome it...but lately I have been waking up feeling this overwhelming sadness. No other way to describe it. Not about anything in particular, just sad...and it can last all day. i have had a rough few years with normal teenage drama, that brought up some old buried trauma, then my husband semi-cheated, and I changed jobs to something I thought I’d live but am actually hating. A lifetime goal and it’s shit. and I feel stuck becoming less confident as the days go on, wondering what the hell is wrong with me and wondering if I’m going to end up a weird hermit old lady. And then it all becomes too much energy to think about and I fall deeper into this pit of sad can’t be stuffed-ism or other end and I just hate everyone. so....what’s wrong with me? And how do I stop it. and no, this is not something I would talk to people I know about because it’s a drag and they don’t need to hear my negative crap.

Guest_4521 Not coping.
  • replies: 21

I am in Victoria, pregnant and due in November and I feel like the biggest loser on the planet at the moment because I'm pregnant...in the middle of a pandemic. Remote learning is the biggest load of bull donkey. I have seen in my life. People in my ... View more

I am in Victoria, pregnant and due in November and I feel like the biggest loser on the planet at the moment because I'm pregnant...in the middle of a pandemic. Remote learning is the biggest load of bull donkey. I have seen in my life. People in my life know I'm not coping. I reach out and crickets. My daughter's school doesn't care that I'm struggling with remote learning. I am refusing my prenatal appointments because I know if I catch this stupid virus they will separate me and the baby. I would rather die in childbirth than risk that. At least I'll get to see my baby before I die, I won't if I catch COVID. Hospital is harassing me even though I have explained why I won't go...so I blocked their number. I feel nothing but guilt for being pregnant, I don't even know what the future is going to be like for my kids, at the moment the world is a rotten place to be! I left my mother's group because they were all celebrating their pregnancies. I couldn't and I still can't. This isn't a good thing, and I didn't want to rain on their parade. I can't tell if I am depressed, disillusioned or just angry. I really hope all these sacrifices are worth it for those who need it, because it's not for me! I did therapy last year to help my social anxiety and agoraphobia. It is back with a vengeance but now I know I'm not being paranoid, people are definitely NOT trust worthy!

user981 Girl disconnecting me from her life
  • replies: 3

I was very close with a girl having a long distance relationship. 3 Months into the relationship she changed one day and wasn't enthusiastic to talk to me, and started to lie about stuff. She then said we can't be together anymore and doesn't want to... View more

I was very close with a girl having a long distance relationship. 3 Months into the relationship she changed one day and wasn't enthusiastic to talk to me, and started to lie about stuff. She then said we can't be together anymore and doesn't want to be attached to someone she can't have. The next day she got back to being close with me. A few days later I woke up to find she had removed me off her socials. I messaged her and she said she is trying to hide from me and said she has depression and has been in pain for 6 months. She told me that she will be going to hospital for a month and that I won't be able to contact her. She however stayed in contact with me while she was in hospital. She said she would be allowed to go out once a week. So she went out of the Saturday however she was going to school, home and back to the hospital - She seemed to be going out lot while in hospital. A couple days after being in hospital she got out but she didn't even tell me. I asked her why she isn't going to the hospital tonight and she said she's out. She added me back on the socials after being out however she was not the same as she didn't want to Snapchat me even though she still used it. We used to snap eachother every day and night. I thought this was strange. There were moments were she wouldn’t seem enthusiastic to talk to me and we would sometimes have arguments, I would try keep it calm but she got to upset with me. She ended up blocking me a few times. We ended up agreeing to just be friends and a few days of not talking as much and her not showing much enthusiasm to talk to me, she wanted to be close with me again. She did this another one or two times. Recently out of nowhere she said she is with a guy. Then one day she said she was at the guy’s house however she was clearly at her house (she was snapping me and I could see) She lied about being at his house. She lied about this guy as a whole. She keeps telling me about this guy she spends time with however he doesn’t exist. I am not sure why she would be making all these lies up. I feel like I am talking to a completely different person. I have tried to keep it cool and calm. I just don’t know why she has been so different towards me. I remind her that I am always there for her and she means a lot to me and that I care about her. When she was in hospital she said “I need you to be here for me”, “I’m in so much pain”, I was there for her and she knows I was there, why is she being like this to me?

Bert-22 Hi...
  • replies: 2

Gday, I’m new to this so forgive me if I am posting in the wrong place! im not really sure what to say... I’m not sure why I feel the way I do! I have trouble making real friends, lost of people I know, but no one that I would say is a close friend. ... View more

Gday, I’m new to this so forgive me if I am posting in the wrong place! im not really sure what to say... I’m not sure why I feel the way I do! I have trouble making real friends, lost of people I know, but no one that I would say is a close friend. I can go months without anyone making contact to just say hi or see what I’m up to. I have reached out, joined groups and really tried to establish friendships... I get really lonely even though I am surrounded by people every day.

brooke_25 Impulsive spending / recovering addict
  • replies: 2

Hi, I am a recovering addict, that has been diagnosed with BPD, GAD, PTSD and Depression. I wasnt an every day user but I couldnt drink/go out without it, and I would crave it on weekends, a bit of fun turned into a coping mechanism. My addiction sta... View more

Hi, I am a recovering addict, that has been diagnosed with BPD, GAD, PTSD and Depression. I wasnt an every day user but I couldnt drink/go out without it, and I would crave it on weekends, a bit of fun turned into a coping mechanism. My addiction started to cause relationship problems so I am working my butt off to stay away from triggers. I am on day 17. But now I have realized since the substances are eliminated, I am now impulsively shopping, yesterday I spent over $400 on shoes and gifts to get that rush. (being stuck at home isnt helping, it seems shopping is all i can do) I feel like i am bouncing from one addiction to another! Any suggestions to curb cravings to get a superficial high?

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