Depression

Depression affects people in Australia every day. Share your own story and learn about other member’s experiences with depression.

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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
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Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
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I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
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Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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John_Maia Covid deniers making me anxious and depressed
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Hey everyone who reads. I’m a healthcare worker, currently not working in Victoria. I’m 22 weeks pregnant and living through lockdown. I understand lockdown and it’s honestly not too bad. Until I watch the daily updates from Dan Andrews on Facebook a... View more

Hey everyone who reads. I’m a healthcare worker, currently not working in Victoria. I’m 22 weeks pregnant and living through lockdown. I understand lockdown and it’s honestly not too bad. Until I watch the daily updates from Dan Andrews on Facebook and see all the comments about how it’s all a hoax and the government just wants to control us. As a healthcare worker this scares me, but I’ve always seen stupid people. But as an expectant mother I’m terrified! Terrified that selfish people like this will keep us in lockdown longer, and when there is a vaccine, will endanger my baby, simply because they don’t believe in Covid. I’ve been doing a lot of crying and feeling very scared, not wanting to let anyone visit my baby when she’s born. I’m scared I’m going to lock myself and her away to keep her safe. Guess I’m just looking for anyone who understands, maybe has some tips for how to stay away from the toxicity on Facebook. It’s like a drug like I can’t stop reading it! thanks in advance!

Toe Bipolar Wife just want to share
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So sad just want my side to be heard. My wife of 27 years has Bipolar. After what has been a life time of being blamed for her sadness she was diagnosed 5 years ago. That made it clear but not easy on me in fact it helped her justify her behavior. I ... View more

So sad just want my side to be heard. My wife of 27 years has Bipolar. After what has been a life time of being blamed for her sadness she was diagnosed 5 years ago. That made it clear but not easy on me in fact it helped her justify her behavior. I am still the vilan the cheater the cause of her deep sadness. My kids have grown up thinking it was their dad who was the bad person making mummy cry all the time. Now they are grown up they see it differently but still support their mum as the one that need help. While I continue to struggle alone. Last night my wife continued her abuse and my son has taken her away. Things escalated and I asked them not to come back. Now I am alone isolated with all the support removed with my safety net my family removed. Who helps me !

Kno7568 I'm lost and I don't know if want to stay here anymore
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Hi, Im a 34 year old male, no partner, no kids, no house, I pretty much have nothing and I like it that way. Now I'm ex military, I've accomplished everything I have ever wanted, plenty of money almost retired but I don't know if I can keep going for... View more

Hi, Im a 34 year old male, no partner, no kids, no house, I pretty much have nothing and I like it that way. Now I'm ex military, I've accomplished everything I have ever wanted, plenty of money almost retired but I don't know if I can keep going for another 40+ years it just seems far too long. I hate travel, people and really everything... But I'm sure I'm missing something I can't find anything that I can enjoy and I've lost all enthusiasm for life. Im sure it's a problem but I just want out and I'm done I'm pretty sure. I use to play a game with my old friends; I called it the bucket list... "Name something I haven't done?" And it would always end with me having done everything...(but farther kids) I have no desire to have kids, but I did raise a boy from the age of 1 till he was 7 and left to join the military so that's done. I guess what do you do when you have done everything you have ever wanted?

Brineheart Feeling hopeless...
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Hello, person reading this. If you have any advice, I’d love to hear it. Every single day, my thoughts seem to be working against me. Telling me how much of a failure I am and how hopeless my predicament is. I just want my inner voice to shut up for ... View more

Hello, person reading this. If you have any advice, I’d love to hear it. Every single day, my thoughts seem to be working against me. Telling me how much of a failure I am and how hopeless my predicament is. I just want my inner voice to shut up for a while. I am meant to be an adult but I don’t exist as one. I live with my parents and don’t have a job. I don’t even have my health. There’s something wrong with me and I thought it was chronic reflux but I am not so sure anymore. The other day, I bought three iced coffees during the day, and a snack with chilli powder in it. Then I had chocolate that evening. My throat was already giving me trouble that day, just from eating leftover pasta my mum made. So I was just thinking that I was suffering already anyway. I just went all out. But none of it did anything. If anything, it made me feel better because I could finally enjoy things I was actively avoiding. I’m so confused. I also stopped taking PPIs for the reflux a week earlier. But my throat still bothers me almost daily. I don’t know why. I’m depressed for a more serious reason, though. I’m so, so scared...I go to sleep every night dreading that I’m impotent. I feel my heart pound in my chest when I’m at rest. During the day, I pace around the house. I bite my nails. I pull my hair out by constantly twisting it around my index finger and pulling. I cry. I feel so worthless and hopeless and I have stuff to study but I just don’t do it. I’m in a long-distance relationship and she’s my world and she is patient and says it’ll all be okay and that it isn’t my fault but I don’t listen. I don’t deserve a partner if I’m impotent, do I? I’m on antidepressants but they don’t stop the inner voice. They don’t stop me from feeling worthless. They don’t stop me from feeling like a prisoner in my own body. I don’t know how much more I can take.

Notgoodwithnames Silence
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I’m alone. In every way. For the last 15 weeks what was keeping me going was the little boy growing inside of me. Two days ago his heart stopped beating, I can’t do life without him. I can’t birth him or see him. I’ll never know him. I want to be wit... View more

I’m alone. In every way. For the last 15 weeks what was keeping me going was the little boy growing inside of me. Two days ago his heart stopped beating, I can’t do life without him. I can’t birth him or see him. I’ll never know him. I want to be with him. I’m going to be with him soon. I don’t know if people will think I’m being selfish or something but I’m not. I’ve struggled with myself for 12 years. This was going to be my saving grace, my little Isaac. I’m alone. I have been since I found out his heart stopped. I told his dad and I got told it was my fault and I deserved it. I’m not living in this world. Maybe I’ll go to heaven, I don’t know I can’t think right now. I just want to not be here. I don’t want help, nothing can help me, I know me. This will never go away which is why my decision is easy. Whats stopped me in the past was I was scared of making someone else feel the way I felt. I have no one in my life anymore so I don’t have to worry about that. when I say I have no one I mean no one. I’m alone and I’ll die alone. I’m silenced and forever will be.

Nevermind_me It's a constant battle I can't seem to win
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I know I’m ranting and I’m sorry. I just need someone to hear me out. I’ve always felt frustrated and angry since I can remember. As a child, I had violent outbursts and breakdowns out of seemingly nothing. As I’ve gotten older, that anger still resi... View more

I know I’m ranting and I’m sorry. I just need someone to hear me out. I’ve always felt frustrated and angry since I can remember. As a child, I had violent outbursts and breakdowns out of seemingly nothing. As I’ve gotten older, that anger still resides deep down and never really goes away. No matter how many times I tell myself I’m fine and I’ll change, it never subsides. I had a pretty ordinary childhood, so I can’t blame my parents or anything for these feelings. I’ve just always had them and that’s that. Nowadays, I’m still seething to the point where I want to ruin everything and everyone, including myself. On top of that, I feel dull and have given up on living. There are some days where I’ll lie down in bed for hours and do nothing cause the things that once made me happy, seem too hard or not worth it anymore. Deep down, I know it’s self-destructive and I’ve desperately tried to change my attitude. However, it’s getting to the point where I wish I wasn’t born or the world would be better of without me. My relationships with others are also unstable at times. One minute we’ll be fine, the next I’ll be yelling and taking out all my issues onto them. I’ve told my family numerous times that I thought there was something wrong with me, but they usually dismiss it. They say ‘you’re just stressed’ or ‘anxious,’ which is probably true to an extent. However, I still can’t explain why I randomly pick fights with everyone, even though they’ve never done anything. Also, I don’t understand why one minute I love everyone and cling to them, then the next, I hate them and push them away. It’s like paranoia. I’m so worried or afraid everyone hates me, that I’d rather hurt them, before they hurt me. I barely try to make friends cause I have such a strong distrust of everyone I meet. I’m so antisocial now that I don’t even really have friends anymore. I stopped keeping in touch with them and they moved on. It feels like I’m trapped in purgatory and can’t escape. Everything is moving around me while I'm being devoured by anger, insecurity and insanity.

Giaisinsane Why is everything so hard
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Forcing myself to do stuff is so tiring, My passions and dreams feel so far away. My friends ignore me. And heck my sister is so selfish she is actually faking her “suicidal thoughts ” because she couldn’t handle the fact that my mum was trying to su... View more

Forcing myself to do stuff is so tiring, My passions and dreams feel so far away. My friends ignore me. And heck my sister is so selfish she is actually faking her “suicidal thoughts ” because she couldn’t handle the fact that my mum was trying to support my depression for a minute. I can’t talk to my mum because she’s rlly stressed about my sister and I feel like I don’t even know my friends anymore. Nobody listens nor cares about me anymore... please help. Somehow?

imbadwithnames Struggling again
  • replies: 6

If you don't know from my previous posts, I am living in Victoria and moving interstate due to loss of job opportunity because of lockdown. I have the approval to move back, but as you all know, COVID is constantly getting worse in Vic as people are ... View more

If you don't know from my previous posts, I am living in Victoria and moving interstate due to loss of job opportunity because of lockdown. I have the approval to move back, but as you all know, COVID is constantly getting worse in Vic as people are too selfish to stay inside and isolate. I have been isolating since the beginning of March and it is really ticking me off that so many selfish people are ruining it for everyone. I am on an inhaler and have lung issues so if I were to catch it, it could cause major issues, more than usual. My issue stems from the fact that I am completely alone in Victoria. Pretty much everything is packed except a few things outside my room, but my foot is twice the size due to all the standing and walking up and down the stairs in my house taking things to the tip or getting rid of furniture ect. I can barely walk but I have to as I have more stuff to take the tip and pack, which is only going to make the pain worse. My only family down here are being incredibly selfish and won't help me or give me any support at all. My family back home are all telling me what to do but not helping me at all or telling me how to do all of these things they expect from me, with the excuse "You're an adult, figure it out yourself". I have never ever done anything like this before and was not taught how, itsn't that your job? Aren't you stupposed to teach me, and help me when I stumble? Isn't that what family are supposed to do? You brought me into this world, I didn't choose it, you're supposed to help me live. My housemates are being awful as usual, and actually cancelled the lease without consulting me (I'm not on the lease because they broke the law, long story) and now I need to be out within 2 weeks. If I am not, I will be living out of my car while all of my stuff is on route interstate. I have approval to get through the border, but I have no way to get to the airport because again, selfish family are the only people I know. I would usually catch public transport but SkyBus is cancelled and public transport when the virus is at its worst? Not a good idea. Flights are also few and far between. I am depressed and scared and stressed and alone and I just want the stress to end. I want COVID to end. I'm so sick of this. My friends are still helping me but honestly I just feel numb. I feel like I don't actually feel anything at all. My anxiety is through the roof and I have nothing to help combat it.

Lila1 I'm really struggling with life.
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I was very shy and got bullied for it in primary school by this one girl who convinced my friends to push me away, I started playing this online game that my older brother influenced me to play (11 years of age) I enjoyed it for the game-play but eve... View more

I was very shy and got bullied for it in primary school by this one girl who convinced my friends to push me away, I started playing this online game that my older brother influenced me to play (11 years of age) I enjoyed it for the game-play but eventually I met people on it, I learnt things I wasn't supposed to at that age and became very attached to people on it and the game - I went on it after school everyday and found it hard to get off. I met a lot of bad people (most of them predators) I had to learn the hard way of trusting people online. I was diagnosed with depression and severe social anxiety disorder soon after I first self harmed when I was 12 and I had just started high school. I had trouble with this one girl and that's when my absence first starting going down,the bullying stopped after I told staff but the feeling of depression and loneliness didn't. Year 9 - I was struggling to get up everyday, I cried and had anxiety attacks almost everyday and I never showed up to school. I decided to leave school resulting in not going to school for 2 years and my high school friends blocked me and said I brought toxic energy into their lives - I know I didn't say or do anything to so they meant my mental health and that really damaged me. I'm now I'm in Year 11 and I've been attending this different school for around 7 weeks and slowly but surely I started to skip days, I cried when I got to school last week and told my mum it was too hard to go in and I didn't even go at all this week. Everyday for the past 3 weeks I've been feeling depressed about school and the past 3 days have been the worst, I've been feeling physically sick of symptoms of fatigue, drowsiness, tiredness,crying a lot for no good reason,having episodes of feeling depressed but I feel nothing really that bad is happening to me, no one at that school is causing me trouble and my home life is fine. So why do I feel like this? Why is it so damn hard to get up? Why is it so hard for me to attend school? I don't know the answer to any of it, everyone else in the world can do it but I've never been able to go to school without feeling terrible and mentally drained. I have a choice to go to school and complete Year 11 (self paced work, you finish when you finish) or leave school and look for a job/ volunteer but I reckon I wont end up nowhere on that path. I'm so stuck and have no clue what to do. I would really appreciate any words from anyone.

Bianca4 Could you give me some hope?
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Hello, I have reached a very dark place in my mind and felt a little comforted when I found these forums on this website. I'm not one to burden anyone with my 'problems' as I know every person has things on their mind, especially these days during th... View more

Hello, I have reached a very dark place in my mind and felt a little comforted when I found these forums on this website. I'm not one to burden anyone with my 'problems' as I know every person has things on their mind, especially these days during the pandemic. But I am desperate now. I feel I need to post something in the hope that there might be at least one person here who may make me feel that maybe everything will be ok. About 7 weeks ago, I was stood down from my job due to allegations that were created by my Manager and his Boss to undermine my character in order for my Employer to dismiss me. And all because I made a bullying complaint against my Manager. I was bullied at work for months...it left me feeling extremely anxious, depressed and even a little traumatised. When I finally complained, my Manager retaliated against me and the bullying became far worse. I ended up going to the Fair Work Commission in the hope that my job could be saved and I would not be dismissed based on false allegations. In the past 7 weeks I have been stood down, HR harassed me with emails. And in a few weeks, I must face them in a conciliation hearing and hope my job will be saved. On top of this, my little Dog, who is my entire world, has become terminally ill and we may have to put her down in a matter of days or weeks. The thought of which absolutely kills me. I have a history of anxiety and depression since my late teens. But this is the worst I have experienced so far...my mind has been in such darkness and despair the past few days, made worse by Melbourne being plunged into Stage 4 lockdown. I understand everyone has a lot on their mind right now, but I have turned to the people here because I am in desperate need of someone to listen and care and I feel my pain will be understood here. I am blessed to have parents and a twin brother and a few good friends. We don't talk about such things in my family. And I don't want to burden the 2 or 3 close friends I can confide in. I feel they won't understand how depression like this destroys you. Thankyou for taking the time to read this. I wish you the best x