Haven’t posted here in a while. It’s not that I’ve gotten any better
unfortunately, just forgot this account existed until I needed advice
haha. For context, I met a guy online. We’ve been friends for a while
now. In the beginning we were very close....
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Haven’t posted here in a while. It’s not that I’ve gotten any better
unfortunately, just forgot this account existed until I needed advice
haha. For context, I met a guy online. We’ve been friends for a while
now. In the beginning we were very close. People would rarely see us
apart, and if we were, they’d ask where the other person was. We would
message almost constantly - he’d say good morning, I’d do the same, we’d
talk on call for hours. Lately, it feels like things have changed.
Recently he decided he wanted to start making videos. Having no
knowledge of how to edit himself, I agreed to help. (I don’t know if
that’s related to the issue, but context.) He made less of an effort to
initiate conversation, and if we did talk over text, he’d be cold. And
the only time he’d contact me was to ask about “our” work. He started to
ignore me in game too, even if I tried to team up, it’d be met with
dismissal. I didn’t address my issues at first, trying to avoid causing
him trouble. I just let the thoughts intrusively fester in my own mind
until, finally, I got fed up and confronted him. He reassured me things
were the same, that I was one of his “best friends”. And for a little
while I was at ease. He started to invite me occasionally, we would talk
less about work and he’d initiate conversations. And then everything
went back to how it had been. He’d ignore me, only text first to talk
about work, reject me. I was back to feeling neglected and miserable.
He’s so two faced, being cold over text, but charming on call. The back
and forth is sending me on a roller coaster ride of emotions. I think
deep down I know, he’s just keeping me around for his videos, that this
isn’t good for me. But, if it wasn’t already obvious, I’m smitten with
him. (Stupid, crushing on someone online, I know.) And like all things
we love, admitting they might be bad for us feels almost impossible. At
least for me. It’s not just my feelings hindering my judgement, I felt
like with this guy I had someone I could confide in, trust. A real
friend. Now it just feels like I’m being used and I’m too desperate for
him to just admit the truth. Why is he so cold over text, but acts so
warm over call? Why does he go from being affectionate - praising and
encouraging me - to just ignoring me? One second he makes me feel like
I’m on top of the world, and like shit the next. I don’t know what to do
anymore. Sorry this got so long and rambley, I guess I just needed a
place to vent my thoughts.