Hi Reminiscent_sky
My heart goes out to you so much as you desperately seek people who not only understand but are also willing to feel for you in relatable ways.
I find the biggest difference in life can be made by those who are willing to wonder with me, so that I'm not left alone to wonder why I'm suffering and what could possibly be the best way forward. I should add that there is a big difference between a basic sense of wonder and a serious sense of wonder. A serious sense of wonder can involve a lot of brainstorming and detective work when it comes to why we can be suffering so much. When it comes to such 'exercises', it can involve so much stretching to the point of sometimes being able to reach reasons and ways forward far outside the square. It's not about people being stretched thin, it's about them being able to stretch far enough to reach what we need them to.
While I used to think 'What's wrong with me? Why does nothing seem to work? Why am I feeling this way?' throughout periods in depression, it took me decades to reach the conclusion 'There is nothing wrong with me while I am able to feel all the things that don't work or all the suggestions that just don't resonate with me'. Give me what I can relate to, what does work, and I will feel that. So, give me 999 things that make no difference and I will feel no difference. If suggestion 1000 is the thing that makes the difference, BAMM, I will feel it or at least some possibility in it. To offer an example, it took me just over 15 years to find and feel the revelation or the difference that took me out of long term depression. That's a heck of a long time to be feeling everything that never worked (therapists, anti depressants, suggestions, certain perspectives, courses of action etc).
When I look back to the days where I used to think 'I just want to feel better', I've come to understand it's more about getting a better feel. I've found this is what enables 'fast tracking'. While we can be going at a snail's pace while trying to work things out for ourself or spend extensive amounts of time working on stuff that we just can't relate to, makes more sense to get a feel for things. While the following sounds ridiculous, I offer it as a very simple example. Someone could suggest 'You need to go for a walk' and we can feel that as 'nup, it's not going to work'. On the other hand, someone could suggest 'I want you to sit there and just stretch your arms out. A big stretch' and we could feel that as 'taking no great effort'. So we do what takes no great effort. While such stretching doesn't make a huge difference, it can make the most minuscule difference. Stretching in such a way is what actually releases endorphins, which is why it often feels good in some way. Stretching is never going to take us out of depression, not at all, but it's the easiest way of feeling some difference, even if it is for only for a matter of seconds. Those are seconds of relief from sufferance. It's definitely a relief to not feel sufferance every second of the day. If someone suggests yoga and you feel that as a definite 'No!', not a problem, but if you or your body feels the need to stretch in far more basic ways at home on the couch then stay at home and just go with that. Just go with what you feel (as long as it's constructive). Btw, if anyone says 'You'll be right', personally I tend to feel that as a load of sh** 😁 and I would not be wrong in regard to my feelings, especially if I'm in a depression. While it can genuinely be meant as words of encouragement and support, how the heck is 'You'll be right' a plan of any sort? Personally, I cannot feel the plan or the way forward in these words.
