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Relationship break bc of depression
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Hi,
not to long ago I did post a discussion titled ‘severely depressed boyfriend always busy’, just to give some background context my wonderful partner and I have been together since around September/ October last year and the first several months we used to see each other every weekend as he works full time and we live a fair distance a way but around March/ April this year his depression started to get really bad, which he told me has been diagnosed with when we first got together and he made himself really busy on weekends when we’d normally see each other, which I definitely suspect is due to his severe depression and making himself busy as a coping mechanism as he is not receiving any treatment. This was starting to negatively affect my own mental health as I have severe anxiety, depression and PTSD from a previous DV and SA relationship. I told him last week that I think we need to go on break and only seeing him once a month isn’t working atm and with his responses to what I said I could tell he was hurt and shocked and didn’t see it coming, as Mum explained he probably has a time fog from his depression but I could also see at the same time that he does love and care for me and the relationship so I really hope that this works out. Atm we are on break and I checked in with him a few days ago and he said that he’s the same as usual but also asked how I am, which I thought was really kind and considerate. For now we’ll probably only check in with each other once or twice a week and I’m not sure how long this break will last for but I have been feeling really depressed and emotional.
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Hello.
It sounds you are stuck in a spot regarding your current relationship. I guess if I were allowed to ask one question it would be
How do you see the relationship moving forward?
That is ... If you knew how long the break is would that make it easier? Or what has to happen do you think for the break to end? And are these things you could talk about with your partner.
I wish I could offer some better advice. But if you want to chat some more I'd listen.
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Hello maddie_faye,
I'm sorry to hear about your relationship break. That's really sad especially because it was brought about by things from outside the relationship. Mental health issues can and often do cause a lot of relationship stress, and it sounds like you did the right thing by focussing on making sure that you were feeling mentally healthy.
If you'd like to share more, I'd also be curious to hear your reply to smallwolf's questions. It might not even be an answer, but just your general thoughts about where to from here.
Wishing you the best
James
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