32yo Unemployed and lost

[R.Penn]

Hi there, I feel depressed and isolated. I am 32 and have moved back and forth since the pandemic from Sunshine Coast to Brisbane back to the Sunshine Coast and then back again to Brisbane and then to Melbourne went into 5 month lockdown which was awful in a sharehouse and then decided to come back closer to family in Brisbane but due to the rental crisis couldn’t find a house to live in for 6 months and now I have landed a lease at a caravan park for the next 5 months. No toilet or shower inside but an amenities block. I feel lucky to have found somewhere compared to people struggling to find rentals at the moment. I just have also been unemployed for nearly 2 years now due to the pandemic and my mental health declining again. I am currently accessing free online therapy through lifeline which is helpful and once a week. I just feel so alone in life. I have a friend in Brisbane but he works a lot and I can’t afford the drive down at the moment with fuel prices. Everything just feels super hard and then I can’t think of what work I want to be doing on top of all of this. I know I need to get income soon or else I will just end up homeless again. I don’t get to talk to many people on a daily basis its usually just me on my own. I see my sister 2- 3 times a week but I miss having good friends and some sort of place to show up to… I sound like I am complaining but I just struggle being on my own so much and feel like I am never going to find employment again… I am applying for support work again, but I have social anxiety and this work is rewarding but also stressful for me. I just don’t know what else I can do with my skills. Feeling pretty over things… I always think my ex would be laughing knowing I have failed so much. These are negative thoughts but I just want to improve my quality of life but I currently live in an isolating area with no friends to get coffee with… can anyone relate? 

I really want a nice home to live in one day, I am trying to stay grateful for the cabin (smells bad and burnt cigarettes in Lino everywhere from past tenant) I am in but its very old and no hot water or toilet/shower is a problem for me when I start work… the amenities block is a 5 min walk away but can get busy with only 2 showers. I am thankful to even have a hot shower but its expensive rent for what I am getting, am I being spoilt?

[james1]

Hello R.Penn,

What a terrible time this pandemic has been for you! I struggle enough with a well planned move from one apartment to another 15 mins away, and you've been through so many moves and in so much uncertainty as well. I understand the whole work and housing situation probably feels like a massive failure, but I really hope that feeling of failure can go away. It's not right that you should feel that way when so much of it is out of your control. A lot of this is actually really cyclical and is a social problem, not an individual problem. It makes total sense that someone who is stressed about their living situation or struggling with loneliness is also going to struggle with work, which makes money harder to come by, etc. Around it goes in this really bad loop. I don't think that is your fault at all.

It sounds like one of the big problems you are having is the loneliness. You mentioned you see your sister a few times a week, but you are missing the company of friends and more of a social life. I suppose from where I am looking in, there are so many possibilities for finding new friends, connecting with old friends, or even changing the relationship you have with your sister and other family members. But I also know so little about you and the things you've already tried, or even things you've thought about but feel too hard. So, if you don't mind me asking, have you had many thoughts so far about how you would like to improve your social life and help with the loneliness?

James