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only happy and enjoy life when drinking

bentleyrover
Community Member

I used to drink daily which allowed me to be happy and enjoy life. I have never really like life or enjoy it general, that all I ever felt and feel since a child. Last year I stop drinking daily because at the same time as being happy and enjoying life, I always dwell on everything bad that’s happen to me and dwell on the past. I am not social so I don’t have many friends. So I decided to stop drinking cause it was leading to suicidal thoughts during the down time with in reality was only 1 day out of the week compare to 6 days of drinking and being able to feel happy enjoying life and being social! But now I am even more Miserable since I stop drinking. The few friends I do have actually notice and see that difference. They tell me you are happy, you enjoy things, you life live.  But when I don’t drink, I am miserable, and don’t enjoy anything and sleep a lot to escape that feeling 

8 Replies 8

Matchy69
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi bentleyrover and welcome to the forums and I understand what you are going through.Life can be hard and not enjoyable and if we fine away to enjoy it for a little bit like alcohol we take it.But what happens with alcohol is your bad thoughts you mentioned.Alcohol makes us happy for a short time but then it can have the opposite effect.

I am wondering what hobbies or things you do that you do enjoy.I like riding a motorbike and that gives me enjoyment for that time I ride it.I think trying to find a little thing you enjoy and working from their can help.

ecomama
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hey bentleyrover, welcome to the forums. 

 

It's great you've joined as you'll find quite a few members have been on a similar journey and are still in recovery. Living their best life and supporting others here to do the same.

 

A point you might like to ponder is what a Psychologist told me years ago when I was drinking daily. 
Alcohol turns the volume UP on any feelings you're feeling. So if you're actually miserable inside then those feelings will (artificially be INCREASED). Same with happy people, possibly they'll get happier... until the hangover I guess lol. 

 

I stopped drinking cold turkey soon after this was said to me. I just did. 

 

So I guess you're at a fork in the road? 
Thinking about decisions to make for your life. 

 

I found replacing the periods of time, when I was drinking, with other things helpful to me.
My sobriety became a major focus. Better said that I avoided the rituals and routines I had with alcohol and filled that time up with other stuff. 

 

I know other BB members have sought other methods of support and you could find those very helpful. 

 

Good Luck and best wishes! 
You've taken the first step in your healing, 
EM

 

 

That’s the things I don’t have any hobbies or  interested in anything really. I don’t seem to enjoy anything sober. I do rely on my dog for my mental support and do a lot of walking with him. I love animals all animals and to see him happy makes me happy

I find that I have no desire wanting to do anything. I come home from work I clean I walk the dog and then I just go back to bed and then I do the exact same thing every day it’s just the same routine daily

  • The love for animals is great and is something you can channel your energy into instead of alcohol.Its a hard thing to change the dependence on alcohol and finding enjoyment in life.You have the one thing you enjoy is your dog.Your dog loves you and is there for you with unconditional love 

Hey bentleyrover and a wave to my dear friend Matchy, 

 

Aha I get that. I get that whole periods of time were taken up with the previous activity. I also get that you have pegged "enjoy" with the feeling you had with that substance. 
Maybe nothing else will give you the buzz you had ... but I think you'll find other things will give you a more complete buzz that makes you feel alive and better all round. 

 

Animals are the BEST! You'll find the forums are chock full of truly dedicated animal lovers lol. We're the sensitive compassionate bunch in society, that's what I like to think anyway lol. 

 

Once you DISCOVER or uncover more about your real self, you'll find what "flicks your switches" and probably have too many things on your list! 

 

I reckon you need a NOTEBOOK. Or to use your Notes section in your phone. You can also share on your thread about what you're thinking and get support to try stuff. 

 

I'm not sure how old you are - not that it should matter a whole lot. 

 

Was there a favourite activity you had when you were younger? Like soccer or surfing? Knitting or gardening? Don't want to be gender specific lol. 

 

Would you like to TRAVEL with your dog? I'm subscribed to "Brooke and Pippa" on YT, LOVE THAT. Brooke lives and travels in her Honda CRV with her pup. 

 

LIST stuff you want to try. 

 

If there's NO IDEA in your head... you can always Volunteer! My friend volunteered in the local RSPCA shelter until it closed down. Our Community handles unwanted animals now in a loving way which is awesome. 

 

No one is going to be JUST like you. You're unique. But many people have travelled a similar path you're on. 
Your tribe is eagerly waiting for you. 

 

Love EM

MaddieT
Community Member

Hi, just wanted to say I'm the same. Being sober didn't make me more friends, it didn't suddenly make everything easier or happier. The one thing it did give me was a clear mind. I'm not saying I don't drink or that I don't have an issue with it but I do enjoy those days when my mind works - it gives me the opportunity to see the smaller things; a dragonfly, a flower, that corner of my room that looks so much better now it's clean. These are the things to hang onto. The more days I get to enjoy that feeling the easier it is for me. It's like quitting smoking - the first couple of weeks you have the worst flu. Your body is getting rid of toxins, and that can include toxic feelings. Hang in there and try and focus on those bits that just feel a little bit better, your body will readjust and the daily stuff WILL get better

Hey - really need to say, GO YOU! You walk your dog, you go to work, you clean - all of these things mean you are looking after yourself and your best friend. If that's all you can manage right now, I gotta say it's better than I did. Please be kind to yourself, you might be in the pit right now but you clearly have an inner strength that will see you through this bit.