Recently unemployed, feeling depressed, worthless and unappreciated

[Maryanne77]

I recently moved to a new town and have started studying. It has been nearly 5 months since moving and I haven’t been able to find a job, this is the longest I have been unemployed in all my working life. I feel like the usual housework and cooking I do are now expected of me, whereas before it was appreciated and I was a valid contributor to house bills. Even though my studies are going well, I feel worthless, like my worth is only based on what I can provide financially. No matter how much my fiancé tells me I’m not, i find it hard to believe and have got myself into a rut. I feel so depressed and like he doesn’t understand as he’s off to work everyday, living a normal life and making new friends. When I read this back I feel hopeless for even writing it, but this is how I’m feeling right now and have been for a few months now

[Sophie_M]

Welcome Maryanne,

Thanks for reaching out tonight. We're sorry to hear that you're struggling with feelings of worthlessness. We can hear that jobseeking has been difficult to cope with, and we understand that this must be tough on your confidence. It is common for the jobseeking process to impact confidence- please know that you are valuable, and also that both your studies and the domestic support you are providing at home are important. 

You might find it helpful to take a look at our page "Eight tips for looking after your mental health through unemployment" - https://www.beyondblue.org.au/personal-best/pillar/supporting-yourself/eight-tips-for-looking-after-your-mental-health-through-unemployment

It's difficult moving to a new town as well. Can we ask if you are still receiving mental health support? Please do feel free to contact the Beyond Blue Support Service anytime on 1300 22 4636 or get in touch with us on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST here: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport

One of the friendly counsellors can offer you some support but also provide you with advice and referrals for seeing a counsellor in a more ongoing way if this is something you feel would be beneficial.

Welcome again - many in our community have experienced similar feelings and will be able to talk through these feelings with you. Hopefully a few will pop by over the next few days to welcome you.
 

[Maryanne77]

Thank you for the link, I’ll have a look at it now. This platform is so helpful, I know it’s silly to base my own self-worth on employment, but I can’t help but feel this way. I haven’t reached out anywhere but here, and just having that reply that means a lot. I’m so frustrated, it’s like there are loads of jobs out there and I think there must be so many others in the same situation, I just want one of those jobs to be for me.

[Helarctus]

A big part of some cultural beliefs is based on determining the value of a person on what they contribute to society. The easiest measuring stick to use is employment, which is why the 'home-duties / parenting' roles, sometimes called the 'invisible workload' have traditionally been deemed lesser.

Moving home is a major stress event, add to that you and your fiance have a wedding at some future point planned, means you are both already doing a lot of things and hopefully will be able to work together through the unpacking (literally and figuratively) of those things.

You are studying and contributing to maintaining the home, this is essential to the whole of the machine that is the family you are building, being able to move together and forward.

With regard to the employment situation, it is hard 'out there' to get traction in some industries and locations. Hopefully with things seeming to be on the improve you will find something soon.