Making friends in late 20s

[Lolue]

Hi,
I've recently dropped a whole lot of toxic friends and friends who just never put in any effort. One of the big things for my depression is that I'm really lonely. Does anyone have any good suggestions on good places or hobbies to make new friends for people in their late 20s?

[mocha delight]

Hi lolue I wish I could help but although my situation is a little different I’m still trying to figure that out sorry and I’m 32 in December so I'm a little bit older.

[Aurora_B]

Hey Lolue!

I’m in my late 20s too and making new friends at this age can be tricky, but taking up a social hobby is a good idea.

I’ve made loads of friends through martial arts classes and also rock climbing. Those kind of physical sports naturally foster a lot of camaraderie and there is enough time to talk and get to know people. Nothing is a better basis for a friendship than learning something together. You can also join clubs, like bushwalking or book clubs. Whatever interests you! And then if you click with someone just make sure to ask if they want to catch up for a coffee or whatever outside of the hobby.

[Not_Batman]

Hi Lolue.

i can relate somewhat. In high school i had a few friends, but i always felt like the 3rd wheel. They wouldnt invite me to things, it was always their girlfriends that invited me. After high school we kept in contact but it was always me that was making the first contact. They went to uni, i stayed working.

there was no effort from them whatsoever, they were busy doing other things i guess. about 3 years ago i pretty much cut them off, so i could focus that energy on something else. Still hurts that it took me a long time to realise that i didnt mean much to them.

Today (in my late 30,s) i could honestly say i have no real friends, but have a lot of acquaintances. Im friendly with a lot of people i work with, im friendly with my wifes friends, and friendly with people in the local community.

i am absolutely terrible with small talk, and very introverted, plus i dont belong to any social groups any more so i find it extremely difficult to make any friends.

im not overly worried about making friends at this point, as i focus on myself, my family, my hobbies, my farm, my job. But i would like to know how to make conversations and keep conversations going at least.

Not_Batman

[Lolue]

Thank you everyone who replied to my thread, i realy appreciate you all taking the time to reply and share your experiences.

Hopefully with restrictions starting to ease I can try to find a new hobby.

I really hope I can find a new friendship group. My lonliness it's really starting to take it's toll.

[Gambit87]

Hi!

I'm in my 30s and I find making friends extremely difficult. I have a few friends and alot of acquaintances.

as Aurora_B mentioned, I too have made friends through my martial arts and social clubs. Its a great way to interact and connect with people.

all the best

[Guest_1643]

Hi Lolue -

well done on dropping the toxic friends - but totally understand the void that is left.

It's hard to make friends, takes time and then the loneliness exists while that process is happening ...

a nice place i've met people is through cafes where i've befriended the owner - real friendships developed. It can also be interesting to go to communal places, cafes with big communal tables where people are open and friendly - a small conversation can sometimes lead to discoverig shared interests.

I think also it helps to have low expectations and just try - many acquiantances may never lead to a friendship but occasionally one will. I try not to get upset about it anymore and just flow with what happens. Flakiness is so common these days... so i guess it's not personal and not everyone will be available to be a friend