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Really need advice - studying abroad....

Novaley
Community Member
I've had depression and anxiety since I was a kid, and I'm currently a 24 year old female university student. I made plans with my best friend to study abroad this semester, at the time I was very anxious about it but thought it would be good for me to step outside of my comfort zone.

However, it's been so much harder than anticipated. My best friend always needs me to handle everything for her and this has been no exception, I've had to organise and plan everything for us with little help from her. Instead of providing us accommodation like I expected, the school abandoned us to deal with it on our own and I had to book 4 different airbnbs for us, all no where near our school, and all in incredibly tiny studio apartments where I'd have to share a sofabed with her. Then, I booked all our accommodation around a mid semester break where I planned to visit and stay with a different friend in another part of England, and the school suddenly and without warning got rid of this break and I cannot extend our accommodation to stay during those 2 weeks because we can't afford it. On top of all this I still don't even have my class timetable.

I don't know what to do, having to handle all these problems by myself has left me at a depression low I haven't seen since I was in high school. I've had multiple breakdowns and cried more in the last few weeks than I have the whole rest of this year. I really just want to cancel this whole thing and stay home, I feel like it would be a relief and I owe it to my mental health. But on the other hand, because my friend has left me to do everything myself, all of her travel plans have been organized by me so I can't cancel this without completely abandoning her and throwing her under the bus. AKA she'd have to find all new accommodation on her own. On top of that, my Father organized to come with us for the first 2 weeks so he's gonna be really upset too.

I don't know what to do, we leave for Europe in a month and this week is really the last week I can cancel these plans without losing lots of money/leaving myself time to enrol in classes in my home university. If I cancel now I think we could get full refunds for everything, but I don't want to ruin my relationship with my best friend and my Father....
2 Replies 2

Marie_W
Community Member

Hi Novaley,

First of all, welcome to the forum. It's great that you've reached out here.

It sounds like a hugely stressful time for you at the moment and like there has almost been a series of unfortunate events that have interfered with your plans to study abroad this semester.

I'm also hearing that your relationships with your dad and your friend are really important to you and that you don't want to disappoint them. It sounds like this is making you feel torn about whether to cancel your plans or not, and also making you feel like you have to handle this situation all on your own. I'm wondering whether they know how you are feeling about this situation and the effect it is having on your mental health?

I also just wanted to mention how commendable it is to want to push yourself outside your comfort zone by studying abroad, despite your initial anxiety and how stressful the situation has now become.

Is it okay to ask how you are feeling after making your post? Has writing it all out helped to provide any clarity?

Looking forward to hearing from you if you would like to reply.

- Marie (:

Studying abroad can be an exciting yet challenging journey, especially as a computer engineering student. Consistency and motivation are key, as mentioned in the insightful reply above. Setting clear goals, breaking them down into manageable tasks, and surrounding yourself with a supportive community can make all the difference. Remember, you're not alone in this journey, and seeking advice and support from peers and mentors can provide valuable guidance and encouragement. Wishing you the best of luck on your study abroad adventure!