"Help me if you can... I'm feeling down"

[Princess]

It's been a while.  Every morning I wake up with my stomach in knots and I even wake up during the night like I want to be sick.  Eventually I get the courage to put one foot in front of the other and attempt to face the day.  By the time I make it into work I feel overwhelmed and like I can't do my job. 

I always seem to be on edge.  I've been reading a book about CBT and I find it quite helpful at that moment but then by the next day, whatever I've read is out the window and my feeling of downness returns.

I have a super supportive husband and he is so encouraging and I feel like I'm really letting him down by being this way.  Not sure what he did to deserve me, but I am grateful he is my partner in life.

Not even sure why I wrote this .... just wanted to get it off my chest I suppose.

[beyondblue_Online_Communi]

Hi there,

It's really great that you have come online for some support. Have you thought about getting any support. A great start is chatting with people here about their expereinces but you could consider some counselling. You can call the beyondblue helpline and we can chat with you about how you go about getting some support. the no is 1300 224636.

take care
 

[AGrace]

Hi Princess, 

I know I've seen a couple of your other threads. I can't recall, are you seeing a therapist at all? 

Some days one foot in front of the other is all we can manage. I think that the fact you are still trying to work is admirable. It's something I had to give up last year, and even the thought of it now makes me uptight. 

The easiest part about therapies such as CBT is learning them at an intellectual level. The most difficult part is actually practicing them every day. To begin with you have to follow every step, however over time you will recognise when you need to challenge your thinking and the CBT will come more naturally. 

It's great that you have such a supportive husband. Rest assured there are plenty of reasons why he is with you. I know what it's like to feel you're letting someone down or burdening them. The truth is usually their perspective is completely different to ours. Is there maybe something you could do for your husband?

AGrace

[White_Rose]

Dear Princess

Glad to hear from you again and to know you are still hanging in there. I do so much agree with AG about CBT. The theory is the easy part. My psych explained it all etc and then told me to practice it.  I wish we had gone through some scenarios with him to get used to the process. (Perhaps he thought I was clever enough to just do it? Unlikely)

Can you enlist your husband's help in this? If he understands it he may be able to recognise when you are in a quandary and help you to readjust your thinking until it comes more easily to you.

I have found it useful and I am managing to change my thinking in the smaller areas. Large stuff still upsets me but I am recovering more quickly after each episode. So onwards and upwards.

As AG says, it's great that you have such a supportive husband. It's hard doing it alone.

I'm sorry that I cannot remember if you have a therapist. Please remind us. And consider going to one if there is no therapist in your life.  I have a feeling you said it was too expensive, but maybe I am mistaken

Regards

LING

[Princess]

Thanks for the comments!  Yes I am seeing a counsellor, I am in week 6 at the moment.  Finding the right medication is proving to be a challenge as I've had some not so good side effects.  I have a Psychiatrist apt in August as well.

Just taking one day at a time for now.

Thanks for your support - it's appreciated because I know I'm not alone with how I'm feeling.

[geoff]

dear Princess, if your situation was the other way around you would also be supporting your husband.

One of the reasons why you forget the next day is because you have a problem with your medication, so basically the CBT therapy will work so much better when this medication is working, as your mind will be so much clearer and much more acceptable to change, which means that CBT will stay in your mind. L Geoff. x