Perimenopausal depression anyone?

[Eagle Ray]

Starting from late October last year I began experiencing the strangest kind of depression I've ever had. I eventually realised it was hormonally linked and a blood test confirmed a significant drop in oestrogen, to be expected in my late 40s. The depression was fused with a disturbing anxiety and very strong feelings of wanting to end things. It lasted until the end of November. While I've still been a bit up and down a supplement seemed to help up until a few days ago and now the depression has just taken over again. I think I must have just experienced a very steep drop in hormone levels again which apparently knocks out serotonin as well, hence the feeling so bad.

Is anyone else going through this? Maybe I just need to connect with someone who has. I've spoken to a few women older than me hoping they would have some wisdom or advice to offer. Mostly I get a reaction along the lines of that is an embarrassing topic we don't talk about, or you just keep busy and get through it. But from what I've read it's not that easy for some women who get this severe depression, whereas other women just get a few hot flashes and feel a bit tired but are not in a place of desperate depression.

It is hard to function to do basic tasks. It's like I don't know what to do with myself and I'm in tears multiple times a day. It's kind of paralysing but I'm trying to move through it. There is so much I need to be doing right now, so many jobs around the house and in the garden and I'm meant to be applying for jobs. It's like at the point I'm trying to get back into the workforce after a very difficult several years I've now been thrown this disturbing curve ball.

Help?

[Croix]

Dear ER~

The fact you have used the term Perimenopausal makes me think that your have looked into this. From that I'd expect you would be aware htat depression and mood swings may be associated, and also that there is hope as there may be treatments available.

Not being a doctor I would not go further than that but strongly suggest you contact your primary care doctor or obstetrician-gynecologist. It is quite possibility that with the right medical support this will no longer be such an obstacle in your life.

There are always chores, enjoyable and otherwise, to be done and getting back in the workforce can happen when things stabilize. There is no use in regarding this as permanent, I"m sure it will pass.

You have still had your sense of fun, humor sustains me as well, and have given umpteen insightful and comforting posts to others here. I mention these so you will not feel life has come to a full stop and you are doing nothing. What you do here is highly significant.

Please let us know how you get on, we care about you

Croix

[Eagle Ray]

Dear Croix

Thank you so much. Yes, I’ve researched and read a lot about it already. I’m currently trying to get in to see a new GP recommended to me.

It is such a strange thing having no control over your own body chemistry and having hormones plummet unpredictably. Today has been a bit better but it’s definitely a roller coaster.

In an odd way it’s helpful as when the serotonin drops out all the darkest stuff from my life comes to the fore. Initially that’s horrible but then it makes me aware of what I still need to work on, the stuff that was masked under the happier brain chemicals when they were working. So I’m quite clear knowing what to work on next with my psychologist!

Thank you for being so comforting and encouraging. Coming here to the BB forum helps me take my mind off feeling very below average and try to focus on positive solutions to things.

 I read about a woman who’d dropped her pyjamas on the floor and all she could do was stare at them, unable to pick them up. That’s what it’s like at times, the most basic thing becomes impossible and you are just in a vacant blur. Based on my age I might have another 4 years or so of this, but hopefully will find some effective treatment. I have a pomegranate tree and eating those seems to help. Apparently they can actually help symptoms. I only have one fruit left as the parrots have gotten the rest. At least their hormones will be happy! I think I’ll go and munch on my pomegranate now for a late evening feast.

And thanks so much again for being so kind. It greatly helps and means a lot.

[Outside observing]

Dear Eagle Ray,

I strongly relate to this. I'm post menopausal now and this is the worst depression I have ever been through. I went off antidepressants about 9 months ago too. I feel like a fool for having done that. Just reading your post its almost freaky how similar your symptoms are to mine. This feeling of being paralysed, tearfulness, an overwhelming sense of regret and grief combined with this free floating anxiety that will settle on almost anything. I have decided I am getting back onto antidepressants and HRT.

I wish you well and all the luck in the world.

[Eagle Ray]

Dear Outside observing,

I’m so sorry you’ve been going through this too. The free-floating anxiety you describe is exactly what it feels like. It’s like a really strange fusion of anxiety and depression.

 I’m glad you have been helped by the meds. I’ve been taking a supplement that seemed to be helping but it’s like a rug got pulled out from under me again in recent days. 

When it hit last year it was literally overnight. I’d been sleeping quite well, about 7-8 hours a night and then suddenly it was only 2-4 hours for about 5 weeks. In those 2-4 hours I would have horrendous, recurring nightmares. Every waking minute was a real struggle to get through. I literally felt like a massive cloud of darkness was just swallowing me. But knowing it is hormonal at least helps in that I know I’m not actually going crazy.

It seems like perimenopausal and post-menopausal depression are finally beginning to be talked about in medical circles and at least a bit in the media. I think of all the women who have suffered in silence for so long.

 I hope you improve quickly again on the meds and I wish you all the very best. It seems like with the right help and management it can be ok.

[Lauren_87]

Hi Eagle Ray.

Firstly, well done on reaching out on here. I'm not near menopause age just yet but a friend of mine went through similar to you and has had a difficult time. You shouldn't be made to feel like it is an 'embarrassing topic', everyone experiences things differently. I'm so sorry you are having a difficult time. I would definitely reach out to your GP as they may be able to assist you and perhaps even suggest some support groups for women going through similar things to you.

[Guest_1055]

Hi  Eagle Ray, no you are not going crazy. 

Have you researched non GMO soy products in relation to estrogen levels? And their is black coash ( can't remember how to spell it) maybe look into that. 

Also there is a company in au that sells " happy hormones" made by a naturopath. I have been in their Facebook group for a while. You may find some more answers in there. 

Pomegranate how interesting, I am going to look that up myself. 

[Eagle Ray]

Thank you Lauren,

It’s been quite consistent that the few older women I’ve spoken to haven’t felt comfortable with me mentioning it. I realise that very likely no one of their generation talked about it. Things seem to be changing and hopefully it will be no big deal to talk about it in the future. Also, I want to stress that not all women go through a tough time either. I don’t want to freak out younger women that it’s going to be horrible because it won’t necessarily be. But even if there is a lot of depression and anxiety that comes up it seems like going forward treatments and awareness will get better.

[Eagle Ray]

Thank you Shell,

Yes, I’ve read about those things and I’m going to explore various options. I have been taking a supplement a naturopath recommended which seemed to definitely help for a while. I think I just had a particularly big hormonal crash a few days ago. I’ve upped the supplement to three a day instead of one, as the directions on the bottle suggest, and I think it’s helping. The pomegranates on my tree were ripening anyway so I was eating one and it was like it actually felt medicinal, like my body was saying yes this is good for you. I then googled it and it turns out it can help with perimenopausal and menopausal symptoms.