This is going to sound bizarre. As a teenager I had a really strange period of time, like something out of a dream, where I thought the following things: that I was famous, that I was being watched by objects that had the thoughts of the outside world in them, and this was combined with elated/dreamy/moody feelings. In short, my sense of reality felt very warped. I kept being dragged down by feelings of emptiness and despair at being alive (depression), but also had really bizarre beliefs and feelings and behaviours. Also, hid my delusions because they felt so out-there, and I had a shift where it got so bad that I had to stop my delusions because it was getting out of control. During this time, I had weird mental hallucination kind of things where I saw flies that weren’t there, or heard a weird voice in my head once. But, since then, depression had been a recurring, big part of my life, as well as impulsive behaviours. I want to get perspective, and am trying to figure out how normal it is to have weird, implausible delusions.
