Overwhelmed & Alone

[Stephanie]

This is the first time I have ever said this outloud (so to speak) I have always felt embarrassed and ashamed to admit that I am lonely and scared. I am 51 yesrs old and feel pathetic saying I'm afraid as a "grown up" I dont have anyoune to talk to because I hide how I really feel every day. I left my home country over 20 years ago and don't have a single close friend. I am finding human interaction increasingly overbearing. I feel like I am the only person who feels like this and I want to be normal. I wake up every day with a feeling of utter despair and have to put on a brave face. I work in sales.....possibly the worst job in the world for somebody who feels like this. I just needed to get that off my chest.

[Guest_10345]

Hi there Stephanie, I feel the same way, you basically took the words out of my mouth on my thoughts, your not pathetic and I'd just like to say your not alone 😞 

[randomxx]

Hi there Stephanie. V sorry to ear of what your going through. lf it's any consolation l'm a bit older and feel the same .

Maybe being in sales isn't such a bad thing , maybe you can use that and just make the most of the chit chat as you work. l know it's just light stuff fast and or about the weather but l've found of late it all helps non the less once l'd turned my attitude around. These days l quite enjoy it even if it is just in passing, l've sort of found that just being open and appreciating anything really that comes along, kinda picks up the spirits a bit- give it a go.

At any rate nope your not a lone and hopefully talking things out round here will bring in others like Drewmac to, feeling the same, there are many and you can talk things out a little.

All the best

rx

[amd1953]

Hello Stephanie,

What you have described in your post sounds very familiar.   But there is nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about.   We all deal with these emotional crises in different ways because we are, obviously, all unique.   I am a couple of decades older than yourself, but I have had my share of feeling down and out.   In my time I have experienced the highs and lows of being human and I never had anyone to turn to for support.   I was taught to take care of my own problems and not bother anyone else.   However, these days there are so many qualified and professional people who could possibly point you in the right direction.   If I were you, I would start with my GP and take it from there.   At least you would be doing something to get the ball rolling.   It would also combat the loneliness which, I know, can be extremely debilitating.   I might also caution against wanting to be normal.   You are special in your own way and by taking care of yourself now, who knows what the future may bring.   I wish you all the very best.

amd1953

[Mari21]

Hi Stephanie,

You are not alone in how you feel. I feel the same way. I am slightly older than you and have been in this country a little bit longer, but like you, I do not have a single close friend. I have colleagues who are friendly but they are not close enough for me to share my feelings and problems. I am a very private person and find it very hard to make friends. I hope that you and I and others like us will one day be able to feel less lonely and much happier in life. 

[randomxx]

Nice words Mari l hope op returns to read them, and others to.

lt must be surreal in ways actually moving countries, such a huge thing. Over the yrs l've met all sorts just in forums and stuff but from all over the world and moving to all over the world. Understandably to though so many have talked about troubles finding their people in their new countries. Oddly though it happens to those of us too that haven't moved countries yet still have trouble finding our people, it;s weird isn't it.

Personally l look and come across fairly normal on the surface short term myself, whatever that is but as a person l've always been v v different and with my quirks and ways, there never has been many people l actually want too close l know they won't fit me and l'll tend to push away most of my life. Not a real healthy recipe tbh . But l'm also happy to say that awhile back now l finally realized v few are going to fit me but that's ok bc really, no one has to if we get along a little then just enjoy whatever encounters well, that's made a huge  difference for me last few yrs. At least in just the every day stuff/life, for me l've realized that helps a lot .

Mind you l'm also well aware that if 9.9 of any were to get to close they'd start to realize l'm pretty weird and not the run of the mill but that's ok. Most won't anyway but l have been cracked up with a few though over the yrs that start seeing things but to my surprise don't bat an eyelid or it might turn out they even actually relate- which has been pretty damn cool.

Best to all.

rx

[Shadow]

Hi Stephanie 

I understand. I am younger than you but I also feel that now at the age of 38. I’ve been significantly isolated for the past 8 years. But this isolation isn’t through distance - I have family close by - quite a few - but now they have their own families, they have no interest in me or connecting with me. Any friends I make at this age are just not the same as when younger. 
It’s caused me to shut down and withdrawal quite a bit and stop being able to open up to others for sincere friendships. 
I think as we get older building those genuine connections and friendships (aka close friends), gets so much harder.

I am resolved to try though find some social groups in my area with similar interests etc.

Perhaps you could consider that also?

wishing you all the best xx truely xxx