Overthinking Perfectionist

[SamanthaCam]

Hi

Im a 27year old Female living with my fiance in our 1 year old brand new house, we are due to get married in August pending Corona Virus Restrictions...
But I am constantly finding myself overthinking and pin pointing small details of the house that i dislike and then it begins to spiral into me hating everything and nothing is perfect.

I do feel like im a perfectionist, as when i was younger at school, if something wasn't done right i would start again multiple times until it was perfect, and i feel these tendencies are coming back more aggressively.

I know that i love my house as we designed everything how we wanted it, and its beautiful, but then my mind begins to wonder and i cant help but feel like its not good enough. Im struggling with turning off these thoughts and being at peace as its still a work in progress: landscaping not done etc.. But i really cant.

I dont want to live like this and i dont know how to turn my head off

[Sophie_M]

Hi Samantha,

We're sorry to hear how much you're struggling, what with planning a wedding and not knowing things like how many guests you can invite. We have a dedicated Coronavirus Mental Wellbeing Support Service - https://coronavirus.beyondblue.org.au/ -  packed with useful information to help people get through these uncertain times, including a 24/7 support line on 1800 512 348 where you can speak to a specially trained mental health professional for advice, some counselling and referrals appropriate to you.

In the meantime, you've come to a safe and non-judgmental place here on the forums where people who have experienced or are experiencing something similar to you give and receive support. It's a brave and important first step you've taken and we hope you find the forums helpful.

[Tay100]

Hi SamanthaCam

Thanks for posting- we know it can be daunting, so we appreciate you being here.

Feel free to use this thread to chat more about your issues- finding community and making connections can help alleviate the anxiety we feel and help us realise we aren't alone. Everyone feels like this, and that's valid. Please be gentle with yourself- if you'd like help with accessing any of the resources Sophie_M mentioned, let us know.

Sending kindness,
Tay100

[Michelle34]

Maybe if you wrote down three things you like about the house everyday or just three things you're grateful for if you can't think of any? I live in a very small rental with three kids and I find going online and looking at the conditions in developing countries that people are having to isolate in during the lockdown really gives me perspective on how lucky I am when I'm feeling down about our squashy quarters. Good luck 🙂

[geoff]

Hello SamanthaCam, and welcome to the forums.

I wonder whether you have seen your doctor and I only say this because what I think maybe a reason, I'm not qualified to say.

Hope to hear from you whenever it suits you.

Geoff.

[Curleee]

Hi Samantha,
Sometimes when I get like this, it is because something bigger is going on.... I.e. I might get uber obsessive about how the plants are looking in my indoor pots (something insubstantial like this) it is usually cos i am manic or i am upset about something else and the pot plants are a just the facade issue..... usually it'll be a trigger from another conversation w a friend....

I agree with Geoff, a solid support structure is really important... and for me this is a GP, psychologist and for the last year, psychiatrist also
Be kind to yourself

[Tay100]

Hi SamanthaCam

Just wanted to check in and see how you were travelling- has anyone's advice resonated with you? We are always here to listen so feel free to chat here if you like. You can always read along the forum for more general advice too (or search for threads from people who have gone/going through similar issues)- whatever helps you get the most out of this online space.

Sending kindness,

Tay100