Once again at a breaking point.

[Echtis]

Hello, 

I can't help but feel immense self loathing. When will I love myself, how can I accept myself when I watch myself do the things I hate every day? 

The obvious answer is to stop doing those things. Well, I can only not do so many of those things, or rather, do the right thing so much before I am too tired to continue. Then comes the self criticism, that I do not know if it is accurate. It is shameful to be as I am at my age, but I cannot control it. On the other hand, by not pushing myself to do all the things I wish to do each day (which has burnt me out), am I simply making an excuse and being lazy? 

I do not know. Honestly, this to me says that my cognitive process has a pathological problem. I do not know how much it is reasonable to do, how much it is reasonable to push myself, and I extend so much energy trying to comprehend this that it ends with mental exhaustion.

Advice. Please. On any of this. 

[white knight]

Hi welcome

Basically we are a product of our childhood with learned behaviour and some inherited or environmental impacts. Once into adulthood we react/behave based on the above. So it is really hard for many to reverse a programmed mind to become someone different than what we are, as in your case- low self esteem and confidence. It means ,in short, that you have to resort to baby steps towards a place where other normal people are and accept that you might not ever get there but anywhere along that path is progress, to embrace being there and moving forward.

So there is some basic steps that can help from you as well as professional help. With yourself you are with yourself 24/7 so you can put in place strategies without making appointments. This forum is open 24/7/365 - post and wait for a reply. That and a vast library (just use search) and read read read can be a good asset. 

To begin, feeling shame is one of many feelings you can try to eliminate. Please google "Beyondblue the best praise you'll ever get"

That is an example of how I built up my confidence post marriage breakdown in 1996. It worked! Months later I built my own first house by myself.

Self criticism is another.

Google-

"beyondblue worry worry worry

"Beyondblue depression he helped me for 25 years - Maharaji"

Reply anytime.

TonyWK

[smallwolf]

Hello,

It takes a lot of courage to be vulnerable and share your thoughts and feelings, and I want you to know that you are not alone in these struggles. It's understandable to feel overwhelmed and burnt out when trying to do everything perfectly (?), and it's important to recognize that it's okay to take breaks and prioritize self-care.

Many of us here, understand and acknowledge that voice of self-criticism can be harsh and unrelenting, but it's not always accurate or fair. A negative thought is also just a thought and it may be helpful to challenge these negative thoughts and focus on your strengths and accomplishments. That is something my psychologist taught me - though still a work in progress.

Therapy can be a great resource to explore these feelings and learn coping strategies to manage them.

You are deserving of love and compassion, including from yourself. It may take time and effort to develop self-love and acceptance, but it is possible. Listening ...