No reason its just there...

[JamieT]

I have reluctantly (but willingly) joined this forum in an attempt to address an issue that I wasn't aware of until recently. I am 29 years old and I have a young daughter who lives with her mother and a gorgeous partner who is by my side every step of the way. I do however, find myself questioning purpose and have experienced symptoms related to depression mainly around loss of interest at work, personal connections and in personal development. There are periods in the day where I am trapped inside my own head having off topic thoughts and running scenarios of discussions and actions which I rarely act upon. My days are filled with distractions and lack of productivity which is highly unnatural to me and it is bleeding from work into personal elements of my life. There are also  periods of the day that I feel disconnected from my old friends and family as I emigrated to Australia to "live the dream".Depression/Anexiety/Low self esteem caused by the ebb and flow of life, amplified with the pressure of needing to be a strong and reliable man/father/protector/boss/money earner built up over well I do not know when it was all a distant memory. A recent 11 year relationship break up seems to be the trigger to some of this but I would not say all of it. There are elements in my life which are high pressure and there are elements that I can relax. Alcohol has become a problem but one in which I am dealing with progressively. I have recently been to the doctors who were supportive but could tell this was not a topic i was open to discuss with a stranger (i know right on the internet is much safer). I feel a lot of support around this issue is direct to women and the elderly who have loss/emotional experiences that lead to their feelings. I am in full support to these people but I haven't really found support around the issues I am experiencing. To be honest I am not even sure myself what they are so how could I trust someone to tell me to take/do this if I am not sure what I am telling them is the truth or my version of it! What am I looking for on this forum? The opportunity to connect with similar guys in my situation where there is no questionnaire or diagnosis that I can't lie around to get a "moderate" result. To hear about activities that others have undertaken to get positive results and any advice that is available for someone who thinks they might be depressed, shows all the symptoms of low level depression but doesn't really have any reason to be.

[Guest_1055]

Hey Jamie

 I just wanted to give you a welcome hug and say hello.

Sorry I am not a guy, but there is quite a few of them here on Beyond Blue, that sound similar to you...... so I hope by me saying that has given you some hope and encouragement.

I am not sure what else to say, but I do care.

With love

Shelley

[Kazzl]

Hi Jamie, welcome to the forum. Sounds like you've got a lot going on and a lot troubling you. The things you describe are quite common experiences for many people with depression and it really helps to share them, so I hope you'll keep posting.

Well done for acknowledging and tackling the alcohol problem, especially at a young age. I've been sober a few years now (I'm much older than you) and I know how very hard it is. So good on you! 

I'm not a fella, but I think a lot of the pressures you describe affect men and women these days. But, for information specifically for men, take a look at the BeyondBlue homepage - there's a link to Davo's Man Therapy, which has information and resources specifically developed for men. It's quite blokey bloke in its approach (imho) which might or might not appeal.  But the information seems very good.

Stick around, there's plenty of fellas here who have great insight and lived experience that can help you.

Cheers

Kaz