New to this & looking for a lil advice

Egg2 · ‎24-08-2019

Hey all,

Not entirely sure how to start this but here we go.
I'm 21 and I've been dealing with what I think is depression since somewhere in the middle of high school and until the beginning of this year it's just been fairly manageable but lately it's getting way too overwhelming for me and it's severely affecting my study and performance at work, not to mention my home life.
I'm constantly feeling tired, no will to do anything whatsoever and my care for the consequences seem to be dropping at a rapid rate. The thought is kind of frightening. I basically feel nothing most of the time which is accompanied by just a bunch of sadness and anger every now and then.

The thing is I feel like I should really be enjoying life at the moment, my jobs are great, I love what I'm studying, I live with my loving Boyfriend and our two cats in an amazing house and we aren't stressed financially or anything. I just have no motivation to do anything whatsoever, I struggle to even get out of bed every day because it's all way too exhausting for me to handle.

I've been going to the doctor every few weeks for the past couple of months about something unrelated and I keep intending on saying something to my doctor or at least booking an appointment specifically to talk about that or at least try to get a referral to someone who can help but I just can't seem to bring myself to do it. I don't want to ask her and be told that they can't do anything to help considering that's what Ive been told by the last two GPs ive seeked help from.

Basically I just need to know if anyone can give some insight on how to overcome this fear to ask for help and I suppose how to ask it because the thought of talking to people about it is terrifying and all I want is to begin to enjoy my life again.

Thanks for listening to my rant aha..

Ebi · ‎24-08-2019

Hi Egg

Welcome to the BB forum. It can be so hard to articulate out loud how bad we are feeling... Especially to a professional... I've felt that challenge several times. I've seen some good advice on here about tackling the challenge...

Printing out your post and giving it to the doc could help start the conversation, or writing down what you want to say beforehand...

Taking along a friend, your partner or a family member who can either wait in the waiting room or come in with you...

Doing the K10 on this website beforehand, maybe even a few times at different times...

Making a list of steps to carry out, like 1) make appointment, 2) write down feelings and experiences, 3) ask mum to go with me, 4) attend appointment....

If you felt comfortable, you could explain how the last few doctors you've seen about this have not been helpful and why.

What do you think? Is any of that helpful?

Thinking of you, Ebi

therising · ‎24-08-2019

Hi Egg

Perhaps trying a 'cover all angles' approach could be the way to go.

I imagine you've spoken to your GP about the extreme tiredness. If so, I also could imagine she's run a number of tests to address the possibilities in relation to the cause (B12, Iron, Thyroid and so on). You could even push the envelope by insisting you have an at home sleep study done in order to rule out sleep/fatigue related issues such as apnea and so on. In pushing all these things, you could emphasise the fact that you are fed up with living in a depressed and fatigued state which is impacting your quality of life. Emphasise 'depressed'. Insisting your GP cover both mind and body, is like requesting an overall chemistry related assessment.

The chemistry present in depression can be independent (solely psychologically triggered) or it can be interdependent regarding existing physical conditions/factors. Whilst I experienced depression for many years at one point in my life, based on psychological influences, I also felt myself spiraling toward depression a little later in life before righting conditions such as a B12 deficiency which really messed me around, sleep apnea and the negative side effects of the contraceptive pill (which has proven to be just not for me in the way of mental well-being). Have never had any issues with the IUD by the way.

By insisting your GP get to the bottom of why you're feeling the way you are, she has an opportunity to employ some help from a variety of 'specialist detectives'. A detective of hormonal influences and irregularities - endocrinologist, mental influences - mental health specialist and so on. Whilst a GP has a general knowledge of medicine, sometimes a specific form of knowledge is exactly what we need in order to progress in a positive direction.

I wish you all the best in your search for support, answers, inspiration and energy. Take care and never give up in demanding action from those who are in a position to take it on your behalf

Egg2 · ‎31-08-2019

Thank you both so much, I'm so grateful for your replies. I'm still working up the nerve to talk to my GP, I have to go there next week for something different so I might work it into conversation while I'm there to get things started. I did have tests done based on the reasoning for the physical aspect of my tiredness about a year or two ago but they couldn't find any reason for it and my doctor just left it at that (different doc), so I'll mention that. I'm gonna write it all down and take it because I have a habit of forgetting what I want to talk about when it comes to facing these sort of personal situations. Hopefully I don't chicken out and I'm actually able to say something hahaha oops.
Again, thank you both so much