New start and new approach to this year

[HamSolo01]

The last time I made a post in these forums was in 2017. Back then I was probably in the darkest moment of my life since I can remember. I thought that I was beyond help and there was no hope for me going forward.

Here I am in 2021 and I have a job (even though I want to leave to something else), been on a couple of dates, travelled, finished my degree and also made some new friends. I guess these days my woes are different. I've spent a lot of time looking into my past and trying to see if I can get an explanation or reveal some home truths about myself and my experiences.

I have spent time in a psych ward, I've been on differing meds, I've spoken to psychologists and psychiatrists. I've spent some time with mental health charities working with them.

These days I want some new challenges and new things in life - it's hard. I have desires to get a new job and to also go back and study again.

Today has been a quiet australia day - I would've liked to have done something social but that's been hard because i have lost some friends, struggled to make new ones, but on balance I have been trying to re establish contact with other friends from the past.

I dunno what I want in life and I have more questions than answers. But I guess I am here still

I will see my psychologist soon for the first session of the year now that I have a new Mental health care plan.

I am trying to do my best and I get the feeling that it isn't enough maybe.

Yesterday I was very depressed. It's a hard time. That's all. 😕

[HamSolo01]

G'day all

Anyone here?

[ecomama]

Hey Hams

Just got in from work, about to go grocery shopping in a minute, then cook dinner - it's cold here today, after a really warm day yesterday.

I really feel like eating spaghetti bolognese for dinner.

What are you guys having for dinner?

Love EM

[Guest_4643]

Sorry Hams, I haven't been on the forums much. Hi EM also.

[HamSolo01]

Hi Em and Tay (no sweat my friend take care 🙂 )

Slight change at work for the good maybe. Will remain where I am provided I change my days. On that condition I am no longer required to move. I said yes. I forgot to say that I can't do it next week as I'll be away so it'll be the first thing for tomorrow. But afterwards it'll be okay to switch. Goodbye to the moving around and worrying about it. Will see what happens i guess.

I said to my friend today that I no longer let piddly stuff worry me.

Want to share what I texted my friend here.

"Yeah work is work. What can I say haha.
I have made the decision to to move into the IT Sector. I looked into it last year and applied for Grad certificate in IT but they wanted people with undergrad degrees in IT. But my friend found a course for people to transition to it all. 3 months free provided by government. I'm gonna suss it out and make sure its legit. But I'm thinking why the hell not. I'm interested in it because its so relevant and it is not going anywhere anytime soon. Cybersecurity is different as well so I don't need coding abilities though I could learn that.

I had a bit of an epiphany over the weekend at my grandmas 80th. Whole family was together with partners as well and it occurred to me that there are still good things in the world. Things that ground us and what's important. Seeing the extended family and what they were all up to was great - because everyone is in their own journey and I am too. I guess the fruits of labour and effort are laid bare before us in those moments aye? It was a wholesome time. There will be more in March as my cousin gets married.

So yeah, while I am looking for opportunities i am getting trained up in cybersecurity skills and knowledge to use. There's defs something in in thats for sure"

Just gotta keep going. Keep trying. Keep plodding along. Stumbling forward maybe.

[Guest_4643]

Hey Hams.

Best of luck with the job, whatever you feel comfortable with, I hope it no longer upsets and stresses you, I'm sorry it already is.

That's good you had an epiphany.

[ecomama]

Hey Hams (a wave to Tay!)

I think that's a beautiful epiphany to have.

It's so true about the things that really matter, your family, the people who love you and whom you love too. This makes a whole big difference to a person's life.

Deep down you also know that working out the "employment stuff" matters too.

It does in my experience.

Taking that Govt opportunity if it exists is a wonderful thing to explore further the field you're into.
I did a similar thing in my own field, could see better stability in going for a Scholarship. My boss had to encourage me to the nth degree though!! I didn't feel worthy at the time. I applied and got it. 10 places offered out of 1400 applicants. I got one.

The extra degree made the WHOLE world of difference in my field.
Everything seemed to make sense.

I was exactly where I needed to be.

Then they offered me another Degree, fully paid for also.
I didn't want to do that one in Canberra lol, but I did.

It got me so many promotions, it was ridiculous. Headhunted over and over again.

I got a long way from the work I'd really WANTED to do, so asked for scaling back and was very relieved and happy they agreed.
I love my job and it's great.

Sometimes Hams, you just gotta "jump into the abyss" when opportunities cross your path.

It's a little bit scary because we feel vulnerable.
But as Brene Brown says, we can't have Courage without acknowledging our vulnerability.
They cannot be separated.

Best wishes!

I really believe you're on the right path Hams.

Love EM

[HamSolo01]

Hey all

Yeah its a good chance to change it up a bit as well. Mon-Wed has been my work days since 2019. Can change it up. The other days can be study days which reminds me I have to organise that and set up my account with the uni. I need to ensure its not going to cost me as its a CSP.

Today I will do my errands and activities. Other than that, not much on

[Guest_4643]

Hi Hams, good luck. I hope it's better for you.

[HamSolo01]

G'day all

Having a slow start to the day here

[Ggrand]

Hi Hams...

Thats okay if your day started out slow....Do push yourself to quicken it up....Doing things in your own time..at your own pace..is the best way to care for you...

Good luck with everything you have planned to do today...believe in yourself and have faith that you can do what ever you set out to do.....small steps at a time...eventually join together to become on giant step forward....

Kind thoughts dear Hams...

Grandy..