New here and don't know what else to do

[luckycharms]

Hi. I don't really know where else to go but I'm 21 and for the past year I slowly realised I haven't been feeling okay. I started drifting away from all of my friends and have had to take a few semesters off uni. Recently I had a panic attack at home and I'm not really sure how it came about but my parents have noticed that something was wrong but when I tell them that all the pressure from uni has made me feel anxious and depressed all they say is "you can get past it, you're almost graduating". This sort of manifested and ate at me for so long since they have such high expectations that most days I feel so unmotivated and now I don't really enjoy all the things I love doing.

Lately I find myself staying in bed til noon most days and my parents think I'm just lazy and not following what they say. Sometimes I feel like being with them in this house 24/7 is too much and those days I end up wishing I could move out so badly. My mum thinks that I'm doing all this to purposely hurt her but that's not true at all. She keeps asking me what's wrong and I end up saying that it's nothing cause every time I try to tell her I feel like there's something wrong with me she instantly thinks that it's a problem with how she raised me and she goes on about how this is her fault and that she doesn't deserve it and maybe I'm just "lashing" out and choosing not to listen to her since I'm a young adult and that makes me feel even worse about myself. My parents preach so highly that I can "talk to them about anything" but I feel like I can only talk to them about things they want to hear.

I can't open up to my mum since she feels like everything I do is me targeting her and the fact that she thinks I would do something like that hurts me. And my dad just agrees with whatever my mum ends up saying. Recently she got really upset at me staying in bed all afternoon that she forcefully booked an appointment with the doctor and told me that I need to fix myself. I get that she wants to try to fix things but I feel that this just wedges a gap between our relationship even more. I don't really feel comfortable seeing someone yet and I don't really know what to do anymore. Most of the time I just want to sleep since I feel so alone and empty inside.

[MarkJT]

Luckycharm, welcome to the forum and well done for reaching out. Takes courage to do that so well done.

What you are describing sounds like depression and you have so much on that it is also weighing you down.

To a degree your mum is right, you need to get to the GP and discuss this. I wouldn't think that kind of "forcing" you to do it is helpful at all but I think her intentions are good. The good news is that if you do have depression, it is treatable and you can live a very normal life, just millions of other people around the world do.

The GP may prescribe you medication and that is okay. There is no difference to taking medication for a physical matter as it is for a mental matter so please do not feel stigmatised by this. You may also be referred to a psych which is fine also. Think being referred to a physio from the GP, same same.

I would recommend that you take up exercising (if you are not already) regularly, make some improvements in your diet and start practicing mindfulness to help counter the low moods.

Hopefully i think you will find that once you have a mental health plan done by the GP and get the appropriate treatment, your life will spark right up. If you got a qualified diagnoses, you can then sit with you parents and explain what has gone on. If that is coming from a GP, then it carries great credibility unlike Dr Google.

Keep engaging on the forums and let me know how you go at the GP.

Mark.

[Touille]

Hey Luckycharm,

Welcome to the forum's,

Well done for reaching out on BB, you do seem like you are depressed. It can happen to anyone, so don't feel strange.

I'm 35 and currently taking medication until I feel better for bad anxiety.

I feel your mother is trying to help you, but when you feel low it seems like so much more and annoying. If you don't feel like talking directly to a GP or counsellor in person, you can call the numbers on BB for help and guidance.

I really hope you can recover and graduate at uni. I know when you are down, you don't feel motivated, so please do baby steps and try and chat to a GP on BB first. It's a chemical imbalance in the brain that causes people to get depressed.

There are many nice people on here who care and can offer you great support.

Take Care

Touille

[Worriedmum29]

Hi Luckycharm I am sorry you are feeling like this. I am the mum of a 16 year old recently diagnosed with depression. Like you my daughter told me constantly that she was ok but recently she opened up and told me that she had been depressed for some time. She wanted to see someone and she has recently started seeing a psycologist. I cant speak for you mum but if she is anything like me all she wants is to see you well and happy. Give her a chance to help you and she might surprise you. She might be able to help you take that first step and see your Dr and they you can deal directly with them if you feel more comfortable. I wish you all the best

[B2B]

Hello there .

welcome and good for you for making the move to reach out. There is a lot of support out there for young people who are in your situation. It sound to be like your suffering Anxiety and depression. though I'm no clinical expert I suffer from the same illness and your symptoms sound similar to mine. my advice would be to firstly pay a visit to your GP and explain to him what you are feeling. then he/she will steer you in the right direction. most of all remember you are not alone. Its hard for people who have not experienced these feelings to understand them but there are so many of us out there one in 5 people suffer from this and its so treatable. feel free to reply with any questions I may be able to help. and I would be happy too

I hope this helps

Good luck

B2B

[Worriedmum29]

I’m sorry to hear your struggling and glad you’ve reached out. My 20 year old daughter has struggled with depression for 4.5 years and it has taken me a while to truely “get it” and be able to support her and there are still days I get it wrong. I’m sure your parents love you and want to support you but maybe they just don’t know how. My daughter and I make the most progress when we chat at a time when there is no conflict and we are both calm. A car ride is often a good time for us. I have also attended some of her sessions with her psychologist and this has been helpful. There is some great info on here as well both for you and your family. Mental health is hard but acknowledge that you have an issue is the first step. I love and support my daughter but sometimes I unintentionally do or say the wrong thing but that doesn’t mean I’m going to give up. Give your parents the chance to support you but if you genuinely feel they can’t look for support elsewhere.