Need help getting out of this rut

Steve_GP · ‎11-05-2021

Hi everyone, my name is Steve and I’m 32 from Melbourne.

I don’t really know where to start so I’ll just give you the key points:

I have been suffering from undiagnosed anxiety for most of my life. I have not gone to the GP for a diagnosis because I find it hard opening up about it in person as I was brought up to believe that mental health problems are “all in your head” and aren’t real.

Lost my job during Covid and have been unemployed ever since. I have worked a couple of jobs in the last 5 years and was made redundant from both. It has been 12 months since I was last employed and I feel like my confidence and self-worth is now at an all time low.

I am living with my Girlfriend and her parents as we were trying to save for a home before Covid.

Most days when I wake up and feel nothing but dread. I feel my life has no purpose. I am feeling more and more depressed every day. I feel like I am nothing but a burden to my Girlfriends parents as I am not earning an income at the moment.

How can I get out of this horrible cycle?

I know I need to get professional help but I have no idea how to approach it. Any advice?

Sophie_M · ‎11-05-2021

Hi SteveGP,

First of all, we want to say thank you for showing the courage to reach out for support. It can be really tough to make the first step and seek help so we hope you can feel proud of doing just that!

It sounds like you are having a really tough time with all that has happened in the past 12 months or so - especially with your employment and Covid. We are really sorry to hear that is has impacted you so much, it is sadly all too common for people to feel this way.

There are a few things that you can do to start the journey towards feeling better. Giving our phoneline a call on 1300 22 4636 is a good start - our counsellor team can help you with some strategies for right now and can point you towards other services that might be useful. You can also call Lifeline on 13 11 14 if you prefer - they are also awesome.

We also highly recommenf you giving our dedicated Coronavirus support line a call on 1800 512 348 - they are super helpful for people who are feeling impacted by the pandemic so it could be a great one for you.

If you prefer you can also check out some of our articles and guides, there are few below which might be especially good for you right now.

Dealing with the financial impact of being out of work
Financial Stress and the Coronavirus Pandemic
Ways to look after your mental health amid the coronavirus pandemic
10 Ways to look after yourself during coronavirus

We hope there is something helpful for you there. Please feel free to drop back in and update us on how you are going if you feel comfortable doing that and thank you again for joining our warm, welcoming and understadning community.

Kind regards,
Sophie M

Gambit87 · ‎11-05-2021

Hi Steve,

welcome! It takes guts and courage to reach out! good on ya.

I'm really sorry to hear that you lost your job from covid, thats brutal.

I can relate to some of the feelings you have expressed.

I too find it hard to talk about feelings and mental health. I just swept is under the rug and moved on because that's what you were expected to do right?

There would be constant feelings of dread, anxiety about going to work and feelings of failure and worthlessness because ive been at the same job for 11 years so far. I felt like I wasnt going anywhere in life and I felt like I was stuck in a rut with no escape.

fortunately - long story short, I had a brakedown which forced me to open up and get help.

My advice -

Talk. Talk to your girlfriend, your parents, girlfriends parents, friends etc. Opening up (easier said than done I know) lifts the weight from your shoulders. You realise how not alone you are.

See a GP and get a referral to a psychologist. Ive been seeing one for about a year and a half now and they have been incredibly helpful and getting me through my rough patches.

This line from your post struck me - "I am not earning an income at the moment." at the moment. Something ive learnt over the past year is your current situation is not your final destination. I'm actually at peace with my situation now and the feelings of dread and anxiety have almost gone.

start focusing on you. you are important too. I think you are blaming yourself for something that is way outside of your control. be kind to yourself.

Its bloody hard, but it does get easier! we're here for you mate.

mocha delight · ‎11-05-2021

Hi Steve I was so nervous & anxious after I made a appointment back a week before covid 19 was first mentioned to talk to my gp about my issues that I ended up typing and printing out a list of symptoms/signs/feelings of depression I was feeling that as soon as I sat down with my gp I immediately handed that list to her which I definitely found really helped me. You may want to possibly add dates, times and how long/often the signs/symptoms/feelings are lasting every day as a bit more in-depth information for your gp. Also when you ring up the practice where your gp is and ask for a extra long appointment plus also start of with mentioning to the receptionist you want see your gp to talk about a mental health care plan so that they’ll pass it on so the gp will be prepared before the appointment about kind of what you want to talk about in advance.