Don't give up

[Cindy_Lu]

Hi, I want to share my story.

I was diagnosed with extremely severe depression and anxiety last year, which I suffered from for a year and a half. I was in the worst place possible - there was not a single minute where I didn't feel depressed or anxious. I had multiple anxiety attacks a day, and cried several times a day. I would have these frequent episodes where I would be screaming uncontrollably at the top of my lungs for up to two hours nonstop. I tried to kill myself twice and had police burst inside my home before to stop me, and I remember on my 18th birthday last year I was just crying instead of celebrating because I was just thinking about how this would be my last birthday. I stopped going to school for half of the time, even though I needed to get into law with at least a 97 ATAR. And my boyfriend was just making everything worse by not supporting him, but I just couldn't bring myself to let him go.

WHAT NOT TO DO

I used really bad coping methods. Mainly drugs , which I took a large amount everyday. I participated in so many dangerous activities, I was in a gang, just spent most of my time high. I did self-harm quite a bit, and even though these may help you cope short term, they won't do anything for you long-term.

HOW I GOT BETTER

Despite being certain that I was going to die soon, I finally ended up trying antidepressants. Even though I had been seeing a psychologist for a year, I didn't think they were of any help. I had just gotten off antidepressants a month ago after taking them for about 7 months, and I am so grateful that I am back to how I was before I got sick. Along with that, that old boyfriend is gone, I have stopped taking drugs, and I got the ATAR I wanted and was able to get into law school. I no longer feel sad or anxious anymore and I am so happy that I didn't end my life before realising that eventually things would get better. I believe that the combination of these things all helped me get better, along with supportive friends.

Even though I was just diagnosed with cervical cancer about a month ago and had so many trips to the hospital, I am happier than ever. Depression and anxiety are the worst things that could happen to a person, and I want to tell everyone that even though you might feel like you want to die for months on end without a break, that feeling and life you will have once you get better makes you love life and appreciate it more than ever before.

[Sophie_M]

Thankyou for being so brave and sharing your story with us on the forums. It sounds like you have been through a really difficult time but have been incredibly resilient and have found a place of recovery. 

We have reached out privately to check that you are ok but though it would be good to jump on here as well and say hello. It sounds like you are in an ok place at the moment but if you do want to talk to someone please do not hesitate to call us on 1300 22 4636.

Please feel free to update us on how you are feeling if you feel comfortable doing so.

Kind regards, 
Sophie M

[Giraffe]

Thank you for your story.

[geoff]

Hello Cindy, and a warm welcome.

Your story that you've just told us is so inspiring to those who are in the same position as you were, it's certainly a credit in how you were able to turn your life around and amazing you were able to stop using the drugs, that you once believed would help you, but it's sad to learn of your current condition, but know from what you've told us, you will be strong enough to overcome this along with studying law.

Your thread is heartwarming and so emotional, it's a credit to your strength, and even though we wish you all the best, we hope you will be able to continue on the site, but remember you can first and would love to hear back from you when you are available.

Take care and look after yourself.

Geoff.