Hi there,
It sounds like there's two issues at play. On the one hand you're disappointed that world circumstances (beyond your control, I might add) have interfered with what you see as a solid path towards self-fulfillment. The other side is that you're disappointed in yourself for having waited so long to commence down this path. Maybe you even feel that there's a sense of cosmic punishment at play - the universe is punishing you for having delayed too long, and now you're left stranded, wanting to do the right things for yourself but unable to.
If you reckon this is a fairly accurate description of what you're experiencing, I would say that this is a very normal and reasonable reaction to events. What I would say to you with regards to regret, and I find this helps me whenever I have regrets about the past, is that we always make what we consider to be the best decisions for ourselves (or others) at the time that we make them. In hindsight we can evaluate these decisions and label them 'wrong', but that's not really being fair on ourselves.
In your experience, the past few years you may not have felt a great desire to pursue qualifications and relationships; you may have had other priorities. You may have been questioning what the hell you want to do with your life before you commit money and years of effort towards uni. Maybe you wanted to work out who you are as a person, so that when you do feel a strong need for a romantic relationship you're meeting with compatible people rather than blindly meeting anyone and everyone. Maybe you've had practical considerations, like a need to work for money and build a financial cushion to support yourself into the future. When you look back at the last few years, I would encourage you to do so with compassion for your former self, imagining that they are a close friend or family member. That'll probably lead to a more grounded, realistic perception of your life so far. 🙂
By the way, it's great that you're engaging in a multitude of hobbies despite the whole social distancing thing. Good on you and keep at it - these are strange and testing times right now.
Felix
