My Journey

[Chris D]

My journey so far has been an up and down ride, like a roller coaster. It started last yr in early August when i was admitted to hospital,I stayed in hospital for approx 5 or 6 days. After i was released it was very tough, very emotional. my feelings were all over the place, as time has gone on and as i have made connections my training of thoughts anf feelings have become more common and i am not having as bad times as i was before.

The thoughts that i get now are just a little bit of loneliness occasionally. Even though i am still in my early stages compared to other people that i have made connections with, i can notice a change in the way i'm thinking and my thoughts.

It is with the help of everyone here at Beyond Blue and many other support sites and people that i have been able to move forward along my pathway. I still have a long way to go but i can very much see the change that i have made since last August.

I have been having a feeling inside me like something was missing and i now know what I was missing as the feeling has gone, I was missing a girlfriend. I have just met her and we have so much in common and are so much in love with eachother.

To each and everyone of you here on this forum i say thankyou for all of your kind, caring,supporting, inspiring thoughts and messages.

I have FAITH, BELIEF in all of you that we will get better in the future.

Kind Regards

Chris

[Jo3]

Hi Chris,

You know I had tears rolling down my face when I read your post.  Chris, you have made a huge improvement from your very first post.  I remember that post - it was very scary and you were in a very dark place.

But reading this I can see improvements.  I am so happy to read that you have met your girlfriend and are in love.  That is so so beautiful.

Chris, you know you have helped me and others on here so much.  I just want to say a HUGE thank you because you helped me get back on my feet when I felt so lost, alone and down.

Also, when are you going to Sydney for your tests? I was thinking about you just the other day and wanted to write to you but thought I would wait a day or so.

Chris, we all believed in you that you could get better, and you are.

I hope you can still keep in touch, I am just over the moon about you finding true love. You deserve it so much.

Pls take care, stay strong

Your friend

Jo xx

[Neil_1]

Hey Chris

Oh mate, that post of yours lifted my heart.  I am so pleased for you ... and your post is beautifully written.  It expresses your new lifting of emotion and feelings, but also you carefully describe that the process is only just beginning and you need to be careful as you go along the path away from your hell that you were in.

It's almost the complete message, as I was going to express something identical to you ... in that, that is so awesome that you've found a beautiful girl and you've got things in common and are so in love with each other ... there is just something intoxicatingly magical about what being in love with someone does to you.

Your senses are so wired and when you walk it's like your feet hardly touch the ground and you cannot wait for the moment that you'll see this person again. 

But you're mature and grounded enough to know (and this is so good that you expressed this Chris) that while you are in love and found that piece of the puzzle that was missing, you still know the spot where you came from and know that you don't want to go back there.  So yes, you've identified the process of coming out of this and that is to do it carefully and just go along slow and steady.

Keep making those connections and keep producing little goals along the way that when you reach them, you can tick them off.

Chris, I'm very proud of you and am so pleased for you too.

Kind regards

Neil

[Chris D]

Hi Jo and Neil,

Thankyou for your supporting words and thoughts. Jo i can assure you i am not leaving beyond blue, even though i have said i am getting better there is still alot of work to do before i get to the light.

I am sorry i made you cry Jo it was certainly not my intention to make you cry. I go to Sydney for my tests next week for 2 days. I will have the computer with me in sydney, so i will be able to read and post to anyone of you.

To both of you i will always be here for you, you are not alone i can assure you.

I believe in all of you and Jo you will be ok trust me. I know you can make it, same to you Neil.

My journey is far from over, I will be here.

Kind Regards

Chris

[Jo3]

Hi Chris,

Glad to hear you're not leaving us just yet.  I want to wish you all the best for your tests next week.  

Chris, I am scared and don't know why.  I wrote a new thread. I need to work out why and what is scaring me so much.

I need to chat.

Jo

[Jo3]

Hey Chris,

Do you know why I was crying - because I am happy for you.  That's why, so don't be sorry.  I'm just glad that you have found some happiness.

Jo

[Lillybell]

I am really happy for you too Chris. I remember reading recently that you wanted a girlfriend. And now you have one and are in love. That is wonderful.

[Chris D]

Hi Guys,

Yeah definately not leaving beyond blue so rest assured. I'm here for anyone. Thankyou for your kind words LB. 

Jo once you work out what is scaring you, you will be more relaxed trust me. I'm here you are not alone. Thankyou for your well wishes regarding my tests next week.

We are both very much in love with eachother. I sne my love to each and evryone of you because i know all of you will get there. i have the belief, i have faith in everyone.

No one is alone. I get a sense of loneliness at times but once i make a connection bb or text or call someone i feel better.

If you can work the type of feeling you have at certain times then you have the power to make that feeling go away.

I hope everyone is ok. I'm here for you all.

Kind Regards

Chris

[geoff]

dear Chris, well all the others how could I only agree with what they have said.

You journey has been an extremely difficult one but the improvement in yourself is a marvel to all of us, so your have been a true life change for all of the those on this site, we know that this illness is always trying to bob it's ugly head above water for you and the rest of us, but we can learn how to control it in which ever way that suits.

Good luck and I'm pleased that you are going to stay with us. Geoff.