My Experience with Postpartum Depression

[Guest_52029089]

After the birth of my baby, I have been struggling with postpartum depression. I often feel very low, exhausted, and alone, and I have ongoing anxiety and mood changes. Even with support around me, I feel misunderstood and emotionally overwhelmed.

[indigo22]

Hi,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for reaching out to us.

It is such an odd thing isn't it, the way the change in hormones can turn into depression. I'm sorry it is affecting you this way.

For transparency, I have not had children so have not experienced PPD myself, but I have been dealing with major depression for over 50 years so I understand how you must be feeling.

I can tell you that my neighbor was dealing with PPD after the birth of her baby and with a few months of counselling was able to get through it and out the other side. Is this something you have looked into? If not, perhaps a visit to your GP for a talk and to arrange a mental health care plan my be helpful to you. I am glad you have support around you, but as it is with anything, unless someone has been through what you are dealing with, they would have difficulty truly understanding what your needs are at present and it's exhausting having to explain things to everyone constantly.

I am glad you found you way here, we will be here to support you through this as needed so you don't need to do it alone. I would be happy to continue the conversation if you are comfortable doing so.

Try to remember to tell yourself this is a temporary state and is treatable so it doesn't consume your every thought,

indigo 🌹

[therising]

The warmest of welcomes to you at such an incredibly challenging time in your life. Congrats, by the way, when it comes to stepping foot on the path of greater self understanding and self development (aka 'motherhood').

It took quite a number of years and the benefit of hindsight to work out what I was experiencing with both my babies, regarding postpartum or post natal depression. Btw, my baby girl is now 23 and my baby boy's 20. While at the time it felt like I was doing everything wrong, was a terrible mother and I was seriously 'broken' in some way, the truth was I was facing a whole number of depressing factors. To name just a handful

• A whole lot of well meaning people who were actually quite depressing. When people say 'You just need to try harder', what that feels like is 'You're not trying hard enough'. Truth is you could not be trying any harder. There's a whole list of well meaning depressing comments. See if you can get a feel for them and figure out what they are 
• When struggling and not succeeding at breast feeding, the mantra 'Breast is best' may as well sound like 'You're not giving your baby what's best'. What the hell? In fact what is best is that baby and mother are both well nourished. Baby with good quality formula and mother with fuel for mind, body and soul. People who can lead us to feel like we're failing our baby, by giving them a bottle, can be absolutely toxic. Good formula is far healthier than toxic attitudes
•  A depressing level of sleep deprivation is depressing in so many different ways. Messes with your chemistry, mental dialogue, nervous system, brain function, physical energy levels and more. A serious level of sleep deprivation over a period of days or weeks can lead you to feel like you're going insane
• People who can't sense your needs can be challenging. It can be a matter of flat out telling people about what they can't naturally sense. If they can't sense your desperate need for a break from what feels like a form of torture, 'I need a break from what feels like torture' can be useful words. While some folk are quite happy being insensitive, believing 'sensitive people are weak' which is absolutely not true (they're just good at sensing), others just can't sense what they've never felt or experienced for themselves. Emotions can require some explaining at times

and the list goes on.

I've found that incredibly happy mothers of babies don't face a number of depressing factors, which explains why they're incredibly happy mothers. Give to them the challenges that you face and I can tell you now it would be a whole different story. We can be doing an incredible job under unbelievably depressing circumstances and not even realise. It's only in hindsight that we may come to realise how impressive we actually are. Btw, I believe it's natural to completely resent at times he or she who tests us to our limits, the child who leads us to rise and evolve beyond our limits. While my kids still feel like a form of torture at times (just kidding😁), they remain my teachers, teaching me who I truly am and what I am truly capable of through the challenges we go through together. ❤️