I need to function much better than I am; I have children and need to earn money, but I'm increasingly convinced my family would be better off without me.
After yet another round of trying to find a new shrink, my GP has gently told me that she's out of ideas as to what to recommend and doesn't think she can help me any further.
She did say the local Mental Health Team would check-in, although I can't imagine what they can do other than check I'm alive; and they haven't even done that because they're absolutely run off their feet with acute emergencies to manage.
My most recent psychologist has gently told me that she thinks that maybe I should see someone else as she doesn't feel she can help, which is what my previous one also said. I'm sure the ones I've seen before that would have gotten to that point too, had I not just opted out on my own.
I've tried every class of medications over the last thirty years and the one drug that worked has stopped. My most recent med review concluded that attempts at augmentation hadn't worked, my current meds weren't working, and that the only option was a washout and then trying something similar to drugs that either haven't worked or have made things worse. And that's assuming I can find a shrink: there are literally no private clinics taking on new patients anywhere in my area, I can't even get on a waiting list for a waiting list, and the public system is already collapsing under demand.
My GP recommended against ECT, and I agree. I think it'll make things worse, as well as being very disruptive for my family, and god knows I don't want to be near a hospital any time soon with COVID as it is.
I can't even imagine a way forward, and I have to find a way to fix things so I can parent and support my family. If I can't do that, there's no point me sticking around.
Once meds and therapy are ruled out, and somehow managing with things as they are isn't realistic, what's left aside from the obvious?
