Is fear of abandonment a necessary part of bpd?

[Leigh1987]

Hi all,

I went to the gp again last night looking for some relief from the constant crushing depression and she suggested my issue may not be depression but rather bpd.

From what I have read a fear of abandonment is at the heart of the bpd experience and that doesn't fit me. My closest friend of several years said to me a few months ago that she could no longer deal with my mental illness and never wanted to speak to me again. I said ok no problem and immediately felt a wave of relief that I didn't have to hear about her life anymore.

So what do you think? Is it still possible to meet bpd criteria without that fear?

[golden82]

hi Leigh,

My understanding is to 'fit' the diagnosis of BPD you need to 'tick' at least 5 of the 9 criteria. So some aspects may not apply. It is very tricky as per the DSM IV and should not be diagnosed by a GP, but rather a psychiatrist who is specialized in these areas. A lot of GPs parade around throwing out labels/diagnoses that they have no idea of and this gets very messy and confusing and people can feel stigmatized. Or just a diagnosis. If you are concerned then I would seek out a psychiatrist.

[Ely_]

Hi Leigh,

golden is correct in that 5 out of 9 criteria from the DSM need to be met for diagnosis. There are hundreds of possible combinations of symptoms with BPD, so every case is unique of course.

I would also be finding a psychiatrist for a diagnosis and management plan.

It wasn't until a few years after my diagnosis that I realised that I didn't have a fear of abandonment per se, but I do attach quickly and struggle with any form of rejection. So even the criteria/ symptoms themselves are very individual.

Ely x

[Leigh1987]

Thanks guys,

I looked at the 9 criteria and don't really meet any of them.

Guess it's back to the drawing board.

[No one on earth]

Yeah the terminology is interesting - I have been confused by it too. But I understand it as a perceived fear of being hurt by others that haunt the individual suffering with bpd. Which they usually act out whether or not is actually happening around them. Hence the extreme emotions